She’s soft and beautiful, kind and gentle,
But pushed so hard she’s over caring
Each new insult, a sliver of the mask cut away
Revealing the primal anger that
slumbers in us all.

Her eyes are gentle, bright and open -
Or at least, they used to be. They say eyes
Are the windows to the soul, but what if
Rocks and screams have shattered them
And only jagged glass remains?
It hurts to look at her now, to see the gaping
Holes where her soul used to be.

And that brave, beautiful heart of hers, the one
That  had an overabundance of love -
It’s closed off now, from itself and others,
And all the blood collects inside until it’s
Ready to burst.

And when all of it comes exploding out, a fountain
Of pain laid bare before you
There’s nothing left for you to do.
Look what you’ve done, this princess you now call
Monster.

I have measured out my life with
the sadness I felt with every
One of your lying looks, your deceitful eyes that
Tell me the truth while you say you “love me”.

I have lived out my life hoping
that you could come around, whispering
Honeyed promises that I wish I could believe
But you’ve left me, and every moment of my life
Is now measured with the memory of you.

Do I dare disturb the universe?
For fate is not in my hands, and
Life seems to be brittle, shattering before my eyes
A thousand fault lines running through
My mind, cracked from thoughts that flood
I’m in deep waters where air cannot reach me
I can’t find the surface.

Do I dare disturb the universe?
Overthink every choice, a butterfly effect,
A hurricane rippling through my inner world
Unraveling the tapestry of my future,
Warping every possibility -
No, I do not dare.

I want to experience it -
The youthful thrill of trembling hands,
Smiles softened by the dying sunlight
Words, cotton-candy sweet, adoring
Uncomplicated, understanding, bright.

I want to feel it -
Love, a feeling sickly-sweet and soft,
Or puppy love, as mom will call it
I want those phone calls into midnight, laughs
Inside jokes, adoring, “let’s go bowling” -
I want the hangouts that stretch
into technicolor dreams
Hugs, languid, smiles drunken
Love, oh how I want to drown
in your beam.

i kept your compliments in a locket
your sweet whispers wrapped in lace
i did not care about the harsh words
even when they ran down my face
and the blood trickled down and mixed with my tears
you still said i looked pretty that day
and i know it’s been two years
but do you still want to be my prom date?

Do you remember how you said…
You forget that you have friends,
Because you feel so lonely?
I understand you. I was too afraid to say it,
But I really, really do.

But maybe those aren't always the friends
worth remembering.

Your fingers caressed the keys
like a gentle waltz
I was utterly transfixed
by the way you carried a conversation
I shivered at each note
the melody resonated within
You were telling the piano about me.