Your silence brought indifference
and after that, I was never the same.
I had plans and poems
that revolved around you
but I will not lie
you have scorched my skin beyond repair
I cannot even recognise who I was before
your heart and mine beat near each other.
Whether you leave forever
or come back to me
my soul will yearn for the one that made me feel like
the universe was in my hands and spinning at only our pace
me and you
your voice and the waves fighting in my ears
both forces of nature that keep me wondering.
I'll be here waiting
for a month, for a year, and for eternity.
I regret staining pretty words
with the idea of you.
I cannot wait for something that never intended to arrive.
white against white
decorated with jasmine flowers
that have witnessed everything.
They've seen the french
speaking the language of love
with weapons of destruction in their hands
carrying our nation's sons
six feet under their footsteps
stepping on honor's history forever.
"Ya worood al yasmeen"
with pearly white petals,
and bright green stems
I've watch you grow over our house
year after year
hanging high and low
gazing at the loss below.
I am now far, distant like a stranger
the homeland has put smiles on our faces
that glow in albums of badly taken pictures
that will haunt my path across oceans.
One day, the heart will ask for home
and I shall listen to it
as it yearns for the sweet scent of jasmines.
My grandmother's house once filled with love
her biggest fears coming to life
pictures hanging on the wall
ghosts of love so short-lived
but remind me to tell her
that she is not alone
there are flowers like angels watching from above.
Whenever I go to Algeria I notice the jasmines that wait for me there every year.
Sometime in the middle of the night
I kneel before God
and try to find Him
but in my words of divine remembrance
I find you in these tangled thoughts
and I pray that you were written
in no other story
my soul is still getting used to sensing hesitation in his words
sometimes i wonder why we can't be together
at first i blamed myself
i always blame myself
but i've come to a conclusion -
it is in fact my fault
it definitely isn't his
that i am a dreamer living in a reality of nightmares
and that the meanings behind my words are often too dense to comprehend
so his lips and mine can no longer speak common sense
our circles forming awkward edges to avoid overlap
like oil and water and we can never become one
He has left me like
a letter without a message
a roof that gazes upon a broken home
but miserably so, a heart which, to it, love is a foreign land.