should one even bother trying to be cute or nice when the pay off of such things are purely selfish ego fulfilling agendas?
If I am dainty and adorable will I feel better or will I feel just as stone cold and as unsure as always, just with a softer edge, cookie dough with kids not caring about the uncooked eggs, the warnings their mothers give them because there is absolutely no need to be cautious with cookie dough, and adorable seems the same way.
Are appearances anything but that, and if we didn't have mirrors would we actually feel better for ourselves, or wear make-up for ourselves,
not for any man, just for our own confidence and desire.
Truly, it is selfish.
I like to be pleased when looking in the mirror, and I'm not sure that I ever 100% am, but posting a cute photo of myself is hardly ever done because sometimes self indulgence on social media just feels like an inconvenience to my own true being
meaning
that
i am a fence.
and my own grass is greener where I water it

You will not see me until
four full-moons circle earth

when I burst forth late
May with colors flush

red as *******,
ivory, and blush pink;

it is winter now
and I rest.

You,
with your freckles
and your crazed brown eyes,
you can't help it.
Those longing sighs and
warped sights only for me.
Your breath is a songbird, your voice
a flock of birds all in harmony.
You are like the ocean,
the sky and the hazy,
confused line between them -
endless and effortlessly immense.

Live your life
For it is the gift that has been given
Times will indeed be rough
Stay on course and remain driven
Walk through those dark clouds
Eventually you will see the light
Remove yourself from those shadows
And make your world bright

There are rocks
With your finger prints on them

There are places
With the color of your eyes
Burning them down

There are memories
I wanted to last forever

There is pain
In the end of a needle
Just as there is love
In all people

There is a body
With your name
Your finger prints
Your colors
But no you.

When you are away, I cannot eat and have trouble breathing. When you are near me I feel elated and lose all interest in other things. When you smile, my heart beats faster and faster until I think it will explode. I have ask many people what is wrong with me, even my doctors agree. I am suffering from an addiction this is true, but it is a healthy one because I am addicted to you.