You gave me a reason to live

I hate you for stealing my only escape from my life

I’ve never known an emotion like this.
One that makes my stomach flip.
My hair stand up.
My body turn to ice.
One that turns my mind to mush.
The constant static in my thoughts disappears and silence over whelms my being.
I can feel my stomach crawling up my chest and into my throat.
My planted feet become so weak as i try and grip so tightly on reality.
“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.” i keep chanting to myself, trying to find some glimpse of victory over this crippling impression.

Staring at every corner of your face.
Your eyelids shut so tightly.
The edges of your lips so still.
I crave to know what's in that brain.
You rest so still, as if you have never known of any living hell.
As if you've never heard of the battle.
The war partaking so constantly inside of me.
I am so envious of your nights.
My home is sleepless.
As far from your familiarity as possible.

Love & loss
these women
Are like knives
That slice through your throat
Over and over again
Tearing skin
Losing breath, voiceless
And leaves you wet on the floor
unsure of things you'd instilled in yourself
Way before
Unsure of who you fell in love with
Empty and caving in
balled up like another mistake
& watching you replace it

We're being reckless.
Giving into temptation.
Your lips are magnetic.
Forcing mine upon yours.
Your touch is sweet.
Delicate even.
City lights shine for us.
Symbolising the spark we have.
Connection.
Desire.
Emotions.
Is this love?
Maybe.
It's the reckless kind.
The one that tears your heart out.
And leaves you breathless.
And speechless.
So conflicted.
We have 8 days.
So much could happen.
We should stop.
But being careful never enticed me.
So let's be reckless.
Let's kiss the way we did by the water.
Let's hold each other until we are one.
Let's love.