I can't help but think, maybe, if I was better.. you would stay. If i was prettier then maybe you would want me. Or maybe, just maybe, if I was smarter, or funnier, or talked less, laughed more like I actually cared. Maybe, if I wasn't me... you would finally love me.

I found this in my journal today from a few weeks back.
And reading nearly gave me a heart attack.
How could I so easily forget we're done?
When you, my love, were my only one.

Boys & girls please, don't let someone rule your life.. in your life you'll be forced to change.. by people, circumstance.. environment.. but please, if you're going to let a person change you... remember.. if they fell in love with you and then change you... they won't love you anymore.

I've learned my lesson.

This is only our second encounter
but all hesitation is gone from your actions
I walked into the lair of a merciless monster
igniting a domino of reactions
my cheeks flushed as I'm held by this beast
that I find myself pinned underneath
hot breath pours out on my neck
as my ears are grazed by your teeth
my heart pounds against your chest
your hands roughly comb through my hair
I squirm, submerged in your arms
continually gasping for air
your mouth desperately searching for mine
I finally succumb to your kiss
the problem with a fatal attractions,
is deciphering what's hell and what's bliss

ex

     im sure weve all got one

     *ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend

     ex husband, ex wife

ex

     so much pain in just one word

     so much loss and so many tears

     im sure youve wished to end your life



ex

     there are stories and laughs

     that you remember from them

     but theres no going back

ex

     you can use ex for all you once had and lost

     ex happiness, ex joy, ex future

     without them, theres always something youll lack

blowing bubbles on a summer day
laying on the blanket, as scratchy as a lamb
wishing for a lover, a hoper, a dreamer to stay
instead of these sorry *** losers who dont give a ****

Who am I trying to fool?
We all know I still love you.
Why can't I just admit I ******* up?
I guess for me that'd be new.
How long will I feel this pain?
I miss who we were together.
What did I do this for?
I swear, I thought we had forever.
When will this sorrow reside?
I think it will continue to haunt me.
Is there anything I can do to fix it?
I doubt it, cause now you're free.
Did you know I loved you?
I guess maybe you couldn't really tell.
Don't you remember what we had?
I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to yell.