Beebz The Queen

Beebz The Queen Sep 2020

thoughts in my head clouding my sight
my anxieties keeping me up at night
constantly thinking you’re not on my side
thinking that all my demons will collide

there’s something in the water i drink
i know this because i fear what i think
you tell me i’m crazy and that we’re okay
are you tired of reminding me everyday

i spin further away from my truth
i dive deeper into the pain of my youth
digging and searching for some peace
but these voices in my head don’t cease

i remember the rush the joy the ache
knowing there was something at stake
self harm my absolute longest lost friend
i hope that we never ever meet again

#selfharm #pain #relationships #adulting #growing #hurt #strength #overcoming

Beebz The Queen Feb 2020

a lost child

i never got to hear your heart beat
i never got to choose a name
i keep losing you before i have you
and all i feel for you is pain

i never got to hold you
or comfort you when you cried
because again i’ve lost you
and no longer have you inside

they say that healing helps you
and moving on is for the best
but how can i sleep peacefully
knowing now you’ll forever rest

i’ve cried a million tears for you
and sang a thousand songs
because in my arms my love
is right where you belong

miscarriages are hard and the aftermath is brutal. but you can make it through ❤️

#heartache #miscarriage #loss #pain #longing

Jul 2018

Ronald J Chapman

Sweet Yesterdays

Standing here, watching clouds pass by,
Looking for your face in eternal memories,
Seeing an ocean blue sky,

Cotten clouds moving in front of my eyes,
Remembering your smile clearly,
Stealing away my lonely nights,

Treasured dreams,
Carrying my heart,
To a far away place,

My heart swimming,
In an ocean of memories,
From sweet yesterdays...

Copyright © 2018 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

YoutTube text to speech video
https://youtu.be/W5ZfZWgSiNs

#apart #dream #eternity #longing #love

Beebz The Queen Jul 2018

the boy next door

it was over the fence that we met
and over the fence we kissed
till it was your lips and your face
that i constantly missed

you stole my heart away from me
you took it and you ran
far away from all the trouble
i thank you for who i am

i love you more than sunshine
i love you more than rain
through every day and every night
my love will stay the same

taking my soul on new adventures
to learn to live and to love
you are my happy ending
you were truly sent from above

my angel, my darling..
my sweet sweet boy
you bring me endless laughter
you bring me endless joy

i love you till my heart stops
i’ll love you to the end
as long as you love me also
and always be my best friend

Beebz The Queen Nov 2017

for him like usual

Tell me I mean nothing
tell me you’ve moved on.
Tell me that it’s over
just tell me that you’re gone.

Promise me you hate me
promise me you do.
I promised you forever
I promised I loved you.

Now everything is ruined
now things have gone amiss.
Now I need you more than ever
now that you stole me with a kiss.

Beebz The Queen Nov 2016

current thoughts

i loved how nothing ever bothered you
i loved that nothing ever mattered
until i realized that meant me too
then all my dreams were shattered

i loved how you talked so loud
i loved how you spoke the truth
until you used me for your own needs
then you stole away my youth

i loved that you smiled sweetly
i loved that you sang my name
until everything i had was gone
then i noticed your little game

Beebz The Queen Sep 2016

death

I'm not scared to **** myself
I know I'm not cause I've tried
the only scary part is failing
to live when part of you has died

I'm not afraid of dying
I know cause I've come close
taking those blades to my skin
cause they're my only hope

I'm not worried about my end
I know cause I've seen it all
jagged breaths and shaky hands
my chest will rise.. than fall.