that should be me your meeting today

I need those eyes to shine for me
no chance that need will take root
you must be involved first...

yea, to lose your way you must be present
the truth is...you missed appearing  
wide, deep, distant, shallow, empty

ohhhh..the power of twisted passion
it outshines even the brightest eyes
takes reasonable people off the grid of logic

moments that escape sanity by feet to miles
captured by need...primal need....
raw, consuming, physical, deep, fulfilling

depth becomes harder to reach as we couple
raising the bar to leave an empty need

you reign here in my land of you
only risk as we clear another layer of reality
the need growing bigger as it roots

freedom yours alone as you maintain
not captured by this fire burning my life
sick, desperate, alone, needy, empty

straight out into the fire that consumes
no hesitation here, no fear
nothing compares to complete passion

do you even think about me
does your mind drift as your ******* her
is she as fulfilling as a lover

do you care that my heart is bled out
is it real that you aren't mine
never will be mine is the truth

not a chance we can capture us
because us was actually me
in love, blind, hopeful, loyal

I am not going to call
won't open any windows or doors
you don't love me

sometimes the truth is too hard to see
harder still to make me know
you, me, us, two words and one dream

******* and **** your lies
**** me for being a little girl in love
vunerable, whimsical, delusional, broken

ouch

Becky Jo Gibson © all rights reserved 06-14-15

be quiet, don't rock the boat, do you really have to go there...
yes I do, I am alive with words.
alive because of words.
silence for this writer is a cage without an exit.
an excellent way to drive me mad.
unspoken they fester and take root in negative soil.
I see what others see and choose to ignore.
I don't ignore the pink elephant in the middle of the room.
I encourage her to be loud, get peoples attention.
to give birth to communication and healthier exchanges with others.
not hiding from truth.
embracing self awareness without blame or regret.
my words inspire, help, anger, sometimes enrage.
the truth does that at times.
denial is so tenacious that I must match resolve.
unspoken, ignored they eat at my spirit.
opening me up to fear, insecurity, confusion.
for me to say it is to breathe.

Becky Jo Gibson©

No tomorrows will count.
My new year is empty of life.
As I cry my way to a future without you.

Four years...close to that anyway.
Enough time to create many ghosts.
My today's filled with space taken.
Deep rooted memories of time spent with you.
Actually more time without you has passed.
My heart knows only us in time.
See... My heart is wrapped in lights.
Only yours.
Every light shines for you.
Alone though it may be, it shines bright and true
For you.
I want to forget.
Let you go.
Take out your lights and break them ät your feet.
A show of I AM DONE.
My done!
None would believe such a crazy thing.
Especially you.
You see the light.
Are the light.
You know it.
When it flickers you react.
Push or pull, matters not.
Response is enough.
You need my need.
It feeds you.
My love for you is as true as it comes.
Feeding the us in whatever way necessary.
Attention is attention after all.
Can you imagine me not loving you?
Right there in front of you.
Where you predicted I'd be.
Feeling.
Knowing.
Peaceful.
Content.
Content in knowing that no matter what you have my love.
Feel it?
Does it cause you to pause?
When do you see me in your life?
When do I come to mind?
I rank.
Even a low rank is ranking.
Not gone.
Not done.
There.
A love so complete yet I feel so incomplete.
There.
In front of you.
I wish I could hate you.
Do you want me to?
Please show me how if you do!
If not than just KNOW... The light shines for you.
Only you!
None can come between you, me and your light.
You hold the key.
Until you release me!
Only God shines brighter.
Only God!

By Becky Jo Gibson6

Swept into a space too small to hold me.
His eyes put me there at first glance.
The containment welcome as I had to catch my breath.
Mesmerized by the shape of his features!
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams alive.
Swept into his land of him and the pleasure he gives.
Held close by his attention and sweet words.
His allure carefully crafted with his heartless soul.
Mesmerized by his amazing mouth and touch.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams desire.
Swept into his land of lies and deception.
Confusion is abound as I hit the ground.
No longer blind to his games and fake love.
Mesmerized by my inability to make truth real.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams need.
Swept into his land of pain and sorrow.
Reality is so hard to maintain in my mind.
His web woven in captivating moments.
Mesmerized by the memories of us in love.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams mine.
Swept into his land of closure.
My feelings slowly matching the reality I despise.
The need for him fills every inch of me.
Mesmerized by how weak I've become.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams player.
Swept into his land of done.
He won't give any part of him to sooth me.
Nothing he has is for me as he is over it.
Mesmerized by my lack of composure.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams deception.
Swept into my land of reality.
He is gone and I am so alone.
Cut off from the ability to find new love.
Mesmerized by my denial of his lack.
Oh what a beautiful man he is.
Everything about him screams ouch.
Becky Jo Gibson 2-26-16

My struggle to actually leave, mind, body and soul
Has blurred the lines between real and desire
My absolute need to walk away whole
All muddied up consumed by your fire
It is easier to sit back and dream, ever loyal
I am very comfortable in this risk free zone
Waiting for you to leave your contaminated soil
Praying you come with me and make a home
Hope, faith and visions, all tools I use to stay right here
Today my gut is reminding me I'm living an illusion
Nothing I do, see or know today is clear
I am stuck in self inflicted mass confusion
Do you feel anything I send in to spark feeling?
Are you at all open to getting to know me
Do my words reach, comfort, touch or send you reeling
Pushing you further away and feeling the need to flee
I apologize for drawing you into my ego everyday
My desperation must be so hard to endure
I don't like not getting the things I want or my way
You cutting me off, if you so desire will end this for sure
So I must send this as my last poem you will read
Putting you down as my pen writes the final line
I remember now your words I will heed
"I can't feel what I don't feel", please stay gone, I will be fine

Becky Jo Gibson

protected I sit alone
lacking the comfort of love
no one to soothe my isolation
surviving an angry crowd
i want to scream out loud
where is my equal
someone strong in spirit
able to find love under the pain
pain from slights of countless people
love not gone
just covered up tight
out in the open
what others see
not the real me
pain that has a life of it's own
taking my laughter
eating away at my joy
leaving me protected and alone