Why are things like Death and Love immortal.
When they are the ones that cause the most pain.

Do you know?
Every dream I dream is of choking the life out of your girlfriend.
If I ever see her alone in the street I will probably slap her in the face.
Do you know?
I have visions of slashing your face leaving you with a scar so deep just so I'm the only one who tells you you're beautiful and means it.
The scar I leave on your face is not nearly as deep as the mark engraved in my soul.
Do you know?
My diary is tired of feeling your name printed permanently with my tears.
Do you know?
You're the last person I think about before I sleep. Like your name is signed on the inside of my eyelids.
Do you know?
I'd walk up a thousand hills with just the hope that I would see you.
Do you know?
When I see you or even the mention of your name gets me all excited I have to count 143 just to calm myself down.
Do you know?
The effect that you have on me.
Is that why you break me down.
Is that why you give me false hope.
Act like I'm your Queen because you know that you are my Last Pharaoh.
You whisper me sweet dreams.
You make me fairytales.
Do you know?
I am oblivious to your manipulation because...
Do you know?
My heart is broken because you left and I...I am lost
Do you know?
She is doing cartwheels to the sound of my battered heart.
She has reversed her stroke in the pool of alcohol I have provided.
She is floating on the smoke of the cigarettes that have burnt my soul.
Do you know?
The last time I felt like this I was 14 and still a ******.
Do you know?!
It's you.
It's always been you.
And you broke my heart.
So here it is.
I don't need it anymore.
If it's not beating for you then why the hell does it still work.
Baby
Do you know?!
I am in love with you

find the matches,
lite the candle,
meditate,
nothing,

turned the lights off,
tried again,
nothing,
closed my eyes,
tried again,
nothing,

Grab the candle,
hold it in both hands because Fire safety 101,
double check to make sure your water bottle is close by
(incase you can't handle the heat),*
be a boss and hold the flame with one hand,
now play with rubber bands, *
meditate  again,
nothing,

look to check if your water bottle is still there,
slide rubber band around the center,
Drink,
Try again for the heck of it,
Focus on the ******* flame,
nothing happens again,

breath in,
now breath out,

**** It,
you blew the candle out,
now your darkness fills the room,
**but u breath,
and u meditate,
and nothing is something,
and things work,
and u feel as if u lit the candle again,

I have received many gifts from God--
      *love
      hope
      understanding
      per­severance
      talents and skills

I have faced many storms
In this journey we called life
But my gifts are enough
To move on

I might have bigger problems
But my God makes the biggest miracles
*I am not afraid anymore

Let me inject you with a metaphor
An euphemism of my life
The reality of the real world
I spew profanity
I smoke
I drink
I ****
I am such a bad person that people think I'm joking, because no one can be so cruel right? And that's the only reason I have friends

I think about heaven every now and then
But hell is like a brewery in my stomach
I ***** negativity
And allow my demon to control my thoughts
She is my only stability, my only sanity
My walk is the footsteps you hear in a horror movie
My legs are pin needles stuck out to pierce the side of everyone who gets close to me
My arms give guidance to the slaying of wrists and popping of pills
My heartbeat is the crack of a woman's rib in a broken home
My chest is the homepage of insecurity and doubt
My lips are the poison kiss of loneliness
My tongue tastes darkness covered in sparkling lies
My eyes are the pathway to her
I am her slave and I will do anything she asks of me
So please don't look into me Because she is constantly waiting for her next victim
Don't try to save me
You have no idea as to who I am

Hi
I'm Basbee
I have trapped a demon inside of me
She is cold and lonely
She's mean, rude and quite frankly a *****
Basically she's like me
Except she torments me from the inside
She has officially burnt a hole in my heart And all that's left is barely pumping blood
I am deoxygenated Because she keeps stealing every breath of fresh air I inhale
She has me mentally and emotionally ****** up So the only good part I had left was my physicality And she had to **** that up too
I have these scars More like tattoos, to remind me that I am mortal and one day I will leave this body and She will be free

I bet you're asking by now "Why don't you let her go?"

I can't
She is a part of me
And without her I would fall apart Because right now She's the reason I'm trying to paint a picture of myself To remember who I was when I was young
Because right now She's the reason that I believe in a God
I am a dark twisted fairytale
And I know how my story ends
She will eventually break out of the haunted prison she lives in And leave me warden to my own shadow