I miss you.
I know that is not
what you wanted
but, I miss you.
They told me life
wasn't a wish granting factory.
If that is true,
how did you cease to be?
Leaving no memory or trace
of the broken heart that
could have healed mine.
I think of you.
I know that's not
what you wanted
but, I think of you.
I see you in the mirrors
in my eyes, although you are free
you scream and scream and scream
begging to God to erase your existence.
I wonder if you are me.
I know that's not what you wanted
but, I see myself in you.
I hear the words you once screamed
yet never screamed at all,
my grandmother said that
God doesn't always give us
what we want but always what we need.
So, I wonder why he took you,
and every memory you had imprinted upon this earth.
16 years earlier,
your mother holds what was once a positive,
but this time around it is not.
I know this is what you wanted.
so why do you weep twinning tears,
to match those of your mother?
" I don't want to **** myself. I just want to cease existing, as if I never was born"