early in the morning

in your dark room

drinking ***

our skin touches

our lips in-tangled

heavy breathing

high moaning

love making

at its finest

Like you go back to those **** cigarettes,
I go back to you.
So go ahead, take a drag.

Watch me be consumed
with every inhale

and forgotten
with every

exhale

...

Everything changes within a breath.
We breathe life's force in and exhale its poison.
Thirty some years spent in sweet slumber,
The numb relief to the painful awakening.
What the hell am I here for,
If not for some purpose.
I breathe his life in and exhale his pain.
And true to this action, I know it is killing me.
Everything changes in one breathing moment.
The death that is longed for,
the hunger, the need,
Is simply released from
the breath that we breathe.
I'm being slain honest and cold.
Defenses are crumbled as fast as their thrown.
Walls that get scaled as fast as their built.
Is this what is needed,  the lessons of soul?
To slumber no longer and face loves true toll.
Selfishness battles selflessness,
And the wager is all.
Using and neglecting life ****** out,  we fall.
There is no grand ending, no marbled hall.
Where is he hiding in this masquerade ball?

© Crystal Erickson 1/19/08

Tick-tock
Went the clock
The day I wanted to stop.
I am now rejecting
every expansion of my chest
and deafening my ears.

I don't feel old.
I don't feel wise.
I don't feel like I'm one year away from being an adult.
And I certainly don't feel old enough to die.

There are two types of tears.

The hot tears that pour from you eyes, suddenly before you realize you're crying. The violent , unrestrained sobbing.

And the cold tears that slide down your cheek as you fight the urge to cry. Quiet, and choked back tears.

I'm not sure how to tell you
That the pack of cigarettes
you bought me is gone
And the one I'm smoking now
Was a gift
From someone else

He loves me, he loves me not
I pluck the petals
And watch them drop
I sit and wonder
Unable to take the overthinking any longer
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I hear your voice telling me everything is fine
But deep down inside
I know that everything is not alright
And as the overwhelming feeling sink in,
I feel a tear fall
As I try to breathe in

He loves me, he loves me not
I begin to feel the faint burn
Of your last caring touch
Against my quivering lips
The tears begin to fall
As I pluck the last white petal
Our memories flashed in the blink of an eye
And all I want
Is to hear you say
That you love me
Even though I know
You love me not.

I have never been responsible
but my girlfriend said I was
I insisted I was not
and her father hired thugs
to beat me up
Isn't that funny? - the world beats
those who are responsible
and spares those who are not