“As much as I love you” ..... as much as I’m still in love with you .... as much as I am still so attracted to you ....as much as my heart and body and soul may still crave you ... as much as my head and heart do flips thinking of us...........I can say goodbye and still love you.
As much as I love you .....I can stop speaking to you and still care for you . As much as I love you ........I can let you go and still wish and hope you the best . If I’m leaving  you alone it’s not because I’m angry or bitter . If I’m leaving  you alone it’s for my own well being . As much as I love you........I am  accepting I can still love you but I also need to be happy.......even without you . As much as I love you ........I have to accept still being in love with you you....... but not needing you for me to be happy . If I seem to be moving on it’s because I can’t force myself to stop loving you ,but I can tell myself that I deserve better than sadness , tears , sorrow and regret ...........As much as I love you  . ♾

Rationalization  and realization replaces overwhelming desire .
Need and want is smothered by words that cut thick oozing painful slits .
My once full heart bleeds into my stomach smothering  flutters of hope and love . Wrongs swim where eagerly revisited  moments lived .
This new place implodes

Walking up there , floating from emotion to emotion
Safe ... floating floating floating
Certain the belly butterflies are keeping me high
Swirling heart strings connect us like love puppets and the gods must be the puppeteers
Lightning strikes suddenly and kills our time
Everything safe shatters as the clouds squeeze us until what we covet is lost
The butterflies leave a hole of shooting pain
Cloud 9 is  now upside down.

Yes, you are my love . Your voice is the revelation that heals my heart and touches my soul. I survive on the magical letters of your words. I am gifted life’s air from the breath on your lips. I have become an addicted lover of the  madness of our love . I escape with you in the vast blue oceans in your eyes.I am consumed by the US of we . Yes, you are my love , and you are so much more.

You will heal in time they say
Minutes pass  
They pass into mass
I don’t want this time
Minutes take time
They steal space
I don’t want this time
Time heals all wounds they say
Minutes steal passion
They steal unity
I don’t want this time
Minutes are more painful than hours
More painful than days
More painful than weeks
Minutes are killing me
I don’t want this time

Emotions like turbulent seas
I am standing before you
I am so small
My heart shatters like fragile glass
I hear your words
I am so small
Your words cut me like icy wind on my face
My feet fail to budge as if in cement casts
I am so small
My mouth opens but no words come out
I am silenced by fear
I am so small
A million little pieces I am rendered as you go away
I am so so small.