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ayd Feb 2018
orange skies were over our heads
The blood of what once was the future for us
Now seeps into my sheets
The stains are something that now

When someone lays with me, they’ll see it.
They’ll see how alive we could have been
how much time was spent
Where our future could have went

The way that we wanted, the life that we had started.
The seeds we planted
Something that could have only been imagined
Together, you and I

it could have been

im not sad
i promise.
I've accepted it.
we will never be friends again.
i fell in love with a friend. she told me a dream about her being trapped inside of this house and every single room she went in. she had to restart. until she eventually got out. and when she got out, it was beautiful, the sun was setting, the skies had an orange tint. ~
that same night, i had a dream about someone chasing me with a guy Fawkes mask. our dreams collided. now, we'll never share a bond that close again.
  Feb 2018 ayd
Heavenly
You fill me.
You fill me with something that if,
That if a house were cemented with it, if a hell was cemented with it,
I could call it home,
I could call you home.
You fill me.
Fill me with something that if asked the meaning of life, this, you,
You would be the awnser.
I am lapping at the shores of my skin, overcoming the brink of my bones.
I feel with you.
Im filled with you.
ayd Feb 2018
i am a painter
no master by any means
i just hold a brush and a bucket beside me
i lather my brush with colors of the unknown

it’s a choice made moments before
had I planned this, it’d go for millions.
but instead, it’s the aftermath of thought.
it is my conscious,

it is my will to live ,
it is the life I give,
it is my affection for others.
my comfort in others
The love I take the love I love the love I hate.

the love of everything
the love makes the water in my glass cup full
the color is often red
or some shade of it

although it is a spontaneous choice
my instinct knows the pattern
the color of blood,
it’s so hard to see.

yet here I am
putting the brush back in again
to let another drop fall
i hope the time, the color is not red.
a friend was talking to me about how she expresses herself through paintings. she explained it with so much ease. i realized that i paint just as much as her. i just always forget to use a canvas and paint.
ayd Feb 2018
my hands are cold
they’ve been cold for a while now.
I’ve lost a lot of life
and it only feels like I’m drowning yours now.

im not okay
and i can’t risk spreading it
it’s so difficult to open up
i realize it more

it makes me feel weak
it makes me think
that, i am pulling someone down
i Live in darkness

they're are glimpses of light
Every so often
But evidently, there are more black outs then there is light out


im a lot like winter

then, summer comes right?
but not mine, mine is winter.
and i always meet summers.

people who live like summer even if they feel winter
Friends, lovers, family.
the opposite of what i am
im trying to understand.

i have some traits of summer
But they’re all just....
not enough
to be like summer's.

my sun shines,
just not nearly as long.
my plants grow but
nothing like summers

summer you’re beautiful
you always will be to me at least
my friends hate you
Because they say you’re to much to handle

they never make sense
I can only love you.
Because you and i
will never live together.
a rough piece with only one meaning.

— The End —