Wasn't I quiet enough for you?

Did I keep your secret tucked far enough under the comforter,
Where even now,
You can't admit I have laid.

Because if you did,
You'd have to admit the never leaving,
Because it never left.
Longing always lingers in the silence between.

You've hidden me in the folds of the blanket.
Always searching through memories,
Just for a moment of what once was.

I can't return your calls.
My absence now echos through us both.
The indent of my body growing stale,
Like fading perfume on the pillow.

I know it in the way you once kissed me.
Yet now,
You only whisper my name to the bed sheets.

I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pockets.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.

I hate
That I miss him. 
Counted days
Pass in heavy silence. 

My heart
Broken is mending.
Prayers lost
To the universe. 
Polluting the galaxy
While
Destroying whole constellations.

My lips are sealed
Stitched together.
Strings of unspoken
Moments held to tightly. 
Bedsheets tainted
By silence and secrets. 

Once not caring
What having him
Would cost me. 
I now kneel in ruin. 
Healing myself
From his misuse.

Hands cupped
To catch the after math.
It slips through
My fingers.
Having begged him
once
Not to fall
In love with me.

I wish I knew the women I see, when I look at my own reflection. Age and scars marked into skin, I can count all the imperfection.

Age escaped me, and time turned thief with backward rhymes of yesterday. Watching age set into the surface, youth the cost I had to pay.

My hair flows around my face, I wish I recognized this beautiful vision. But I am just a frame of myself, binded by Destiny's decision.

Epiphany knocked me on my ***, I break my own heart every ******* time. I crumble and fall to pieces, over what the stars won't speak divine.

Who is me, this women I see, when glimpses come into view? A small fragment of myself, a memory of me, like someone I once knew...

I opened myself
Arms stretched
Welcomed
Into his bed.
Uncaring of
What it will cost me.

Why
Am I this way?
*** is Binding
Intertwined unspeakably
Beyond lifetimes
And far past
Our hearts
Own Comprehension.

We mold together
Passion overwhelming
Self destruction
Igniting
With each ******.
Left lingering
For eternity
Between ruin and bliss.

I kneel before the temple of tomorrow, while still lingering in yesterday.  Cut by broken promises, and choking on the words I couldn't say.

Here I cried a river so vast, that it became a sea. I cupped my hands but couldn't catch, all the shattered parts of me.

Prayers slip from red stained lips, but it's just to heavy in heart. There's no more a clear reflection, that ripples do not part.

I have hope tucked in my pocket,  I built this raft with dreams. But I can't keep from drowning, it's busting at the seams.

Waves pull from the earth, my heart now ticks to the rhythm of sorrow. I can't mend what's already fallen apart, but I can find faith in the Temple of tomorrow.

I froze time
Just to be with him.
Pausing chaos
Just to obtain freedom.
I can never have enough...

When he kissed me
It all stood still.
His breath
On my lips
And my heart in my throat.

I crave him
So intensely.
But this time
he would not
Accept resistance.
His patience gone
From waiting
And his hunger growing more.

My pants slipped
And
His mouth
found me.
So sweet and wet.
I lost all control.
Toes curl.
I gasp in disbelief.

I found bliss.
His skill exceeding
All expectations.
He does this so well...
My fingers
Tangle in his hair
As fireworks burst.

Time ticks away
As we lose ourselves
In eachother.
It ending with
Me on top
enjoying the view.
This lover is
Unlike any
I've ever had before...
His tenacious hands
Grasping me whole.