verdigris: Poems

Be Alright

verdigris Aug 2017

Before you came into my life, I already know I love you
I know it's cheesy but I admit it's true
Past lovers do come and break us, indeed
Because of their empty promises, we believed
I thank my God everyday
Both of my hands together, to kneel down and pray

A relationship with no label but already committed
We compete for each others academics but not conceited
You were once a bad boy who stole everything they got
And I am a strong girl for the pain that I always forgot

Remember the night I told you to take care of my heart?
It is wonderfully constructed yet so fragile when they break apart
That is why I picked you because you're fit
For in the end, you're always worth it

They thought we're perfect, they thought we're always happy
Sometimes I go downhill and feeling ******
I understand you understand
That I bleed words for dinner, and drink poems for breakfast

But I will never forget last night
When I wished you a sweet dreams and sleep tight
We had a slight misunderstanding
Until we found out we're both breaking

I told you the other day I was fine
As a reader you will read between the lines
Then why did I cry on that night?
But don't worry. my love, for I will be alright.

for stphn flrs

#love #poetry

Beware, Ragemakers

verdigris Jan 3

Beware, Ragemakers

A tremble begins to settle on seething skin
She is a maker of parasitical kin
It does not consume like a dancing fire
But it amplifies with a vision of curdling desire
Just like a mother, it grows like a molding seed
A miracle of the asexual spirit in a world of greed
Abrupt in nature, beloved by its own flesh and blood
It left an intangible mark inscribed on her soul in disguise of a hunch
A precautionary tale serves a special prevention of the ugly occurrence
What a marvelous delight it becomes when it reverts as a guide, full of opulence
But not in a sense of monetary value, rather a calculated demise

How does one understand a raw creation of wrath?
What will she become after venturing the thorny path?
Does an inquiry halts her progress in activating fury?
Is there an object of her ire that requires a narrative of her mutiny?
Why does the poison never spread like death in a rush?
Can she possibly raise an army to march with an uncontrollable urge of violence?
When will she endure the thinning of her lips to match the peace of a deafening silence?
Is there a warning to keep herself intact for the coming apocalyptic days?
Will it save the dormant history of her being through enactment of saving face?
The question remains unanswered, but the fulfillment of the instrumental vengeance shall prevail

The inappropriate conception is almost complete to its term
A note emerges from an acidic confinement for the preparation of a womanly stern
This clump of a girl is not a shameful creation for the sake of tragedy
If anything, the child's fulfilling rage will cleanse her ancestors as a token of remedy
There is no reminder of a continuing paternity names on her birth
No need for prophetic visions as she strikes down the Earth
An abundant offerings on her behalf shall never satisfy her
As the melting iron starts to sizzle the plumper skin, the blinding nostalgia of rage tastes better
She has no patience for warnings to initiate an appropriate plan
The hour of her sustainable war has begun

after five years without writing poetry, i have given birth once again.

#madness #rage #freedom #motherhood #monstrosity #apocalypse

Hence I Am a Woman

verdigris 2d

Hence I Am a Woman

I speak with a wavering tongue of abandonment
Unsure to explore the Old Story in a distant time
The dowager and the maiden forced to defend
An unexplored narrative that supersedes Her Crime
But the call is impossible to resist
Most especially a female’s debut is not of her age
Rather an unfortunate event where he exists
To inflict the indomitable damage

For in the beginning, desecration is a promise
On womanhood that prevails
Lingering from a girl’s memory crevice
There is an incomplete circle with raggedy details
So it is the phenomenon she continuously bleeds
Through the vagueness of a shapeshift letters
Her growling mind where the prophecy feeds
The neurotic critters

Bruises from the Elder Man turns into hollowed scar
The autopsy did not identify a blunt trauma
Only the stolen lullabies and constellation chart
Excreting from his mouth is a monochromatic drama
Challenging suffering with evil like a reverse lobotomy
No emotional endurance can express her distress
Over the gap between their ages as the legacy
And so shall the judge orders his arrest

The second Prince is enamored at first sight
He prays to the gods for their union fate
Until the war triggers her to fight
Her sins and rumors tainted it too late
Choice has been made to bare her skin
At first, she thought it’s empowering
Until it pulverizes her patience to thin
Being radical as her sweetest ending

The Rising Sun aligns with the beguiling lady
She howled at the future of his departure
But nothing hurts like a shadow of the first Macy
She tries to separate her identity as her adventure
So she can be chosen and different from her twin
In no connection to blood, only the lover
The world is crushed when the others win
Comparison between Macy and lady will not recover

Stability comes from the face of discipline
An offer of love has set the story into motion
But she lashes out against his morphine
Evident as her cruelty remains his devotion
Two years of an unrivaled reign
It must be finished
The anticipative break is present without pain
I spared his soul before it diminished

Tell me now, man of the universe!
Owner of all aspects and humanity
I was not born to accept your objective curse
My sisters aspire to rise and maintain equality
Except I see a dysfunction to the standard
I spit at the thought of Him by my side
Apocalyptic approach on this regard
Declaration of freedom will abide

Nonsensical apocalypse of her birth
Doomed by ***, astoundingly rebellious
It is I, a woman, who understands the earth
My nature is exquisite in spontaneous
Root of all evil, I shall not meet with forgiveness
I associate this Seed of Mankind
Let us dim its imaginary limitless
Upholding such values should be left behind

A cry from a newborn arises
Phallus is connected to the subject
The mother knew his fate on crisis
His crimes will be stamped with neglect
Finally, a girl is not caressed in regret
For it is punishment to be born like him
His paranoia, a symptom of being possessed
It is no longer a she that will end in a grim

rejection is never painful when we can call it our own. there is no fear in being a woman.

#womanhood #feminism #madness #poetry

i deny, therefore i am

verdigris Mar 2018

i deny, therefore i am

why deny when you can just try?
if you're scared of the pain,
why force your feelings to change?
love is worth the risk and sacrifice,
trust me, all of your efforts will suffice,
nothing will stop the power of love,
especially when it is a gift from above,
you don't know if you're feeling it already,
although your heart is not beating steady,
it is that excitement stage that you're into,
but my goodness! i think i'm falling too,
don't stop when love welcomes you back,
just be thankful because it'll fill up the cracks,
isn't it amazing how optimistic i am?
with standing ovation, pushing it to scram,
ladies and gents, i know a person who fell,
only to find herself crashing into the spell,
she's into deep when she admits to herself,
but that's the problem, broken by her own self,

this was inspired by my two different friends. one of them is in denial of liking someone while the other one is scared of falling in love

#love #fear #poetry

Insomnia

verdigris Dec 2017

Insomnia

Eyes wide open
White sockets kept closing in
Staring at the ceiling with brimming tears
Wobbling mouths concealing the screams
What's normal is an illusion now
They can't even save me

Tossing and turning
Trying to sleep
Darkness is an abandoned place
But why is it my perfect company in the moonlight?
Help is all I need but I'm too silent to plead

I tried my best to see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Too scared to repent my sins
Or was it all inside my mind?
To see is to believe

What I see are the things I should not believe
Faith will be lost in the depths of the abyss
Convincing myself to be saved
But each night I admit to myself
There's too much Hell inside me

Blame the sickness itself, not the person
All I ever wanted is a good day
Snatched it upon my hands
Laughing at me
I don't deserve to be happy

Aren't you tired of wearing plastic masks?
Plastered smiles are peeling off your faces
Thou shalt not be afraid
For the monsters under your bed
Are now inside of your head

That's what happens
A girl with no proper sleep
Thinking what will happen
If she vanished within oblivion
We all get tired sometimes
Frustratingly famished for a rest

Verily, verily, I say unto you
When I asked for a rest
Please take note
I will finally close my lid
Underground six feet

i could not sleep tonight, it's bothering me for days, and also.. this is what happens if i read too much poetry.

#night #thoughts

Let Me Count The Ways

verdigris Feb 2018

Let Me Count The Ways

I have a thousand poems to weave alone
But yours is my favorite way of expression
Sometimes, I witness a love so real
That every broken hearts will heal
It's true that it is supposed to be painful
It's quite ironic that we look like a fool
I don't care if I bleed with their weapons
You silence my inner demons
We fell apart when the love was gone
I thank God that our story is not done

I read a poem once
A sonnet with one more chance
It was written before our time
It reminds me of you that it makes me cry
I'm sorry for all of my mistakes
The only thing I don't regret is anything that I won't fake
I believe that poetry is not enough
But every pain I felt before made me tough
I always thought you weren't worth it
A reminder of my love is all you can get

A man with a leisure on his pocket
A road to happiness in a one-way ticket
His lips I can kiss
His callous hands holding mine like this
I'm always looking at your face
Not following love with haste
O, my dear love! let me count the ways

yep my first poem dedicated for the valentines day tomorrow

#love #poem

Lost Girl

verdigris Nov 2017

Lost Girl

No one loves a girl with a cold heart
They changed her into something
Something she cannot help
But to wonder
And ask the Lord, her God
Why does this keep happening?
What did I do to deserve
A punishment in eternal fire

But that's just the beginning
She doesn't know
What the world had
Until they pushed her
Into a monster
She didn't even wished for

That's the world is like
Her heart and head on a spike
All light that shines through her eyes
They are panning out
All smiles that shows through her lips
They are running out

She listens to the crowd
Reflecting and changing
But the question still remains
Did she ever?
No one knows how
One thing is for sure
All they ever wanted
Is to **** the uniqueness
The authenticity that she built
From the start

Maybe it's all in her head
But she cannot find someone
To trust anymore
Until they cannot trust her too
She speaks ill of them
Because that's what she saw
When she was just innocent

If only she can find
A way to get out of here
But she can't
She wouldn't
Never in a million years

Every time the world wants to touch
Her heart
Nothing beats the same anymore
They dissect the parts of it
Every inch of it
The only thing they'll say
"Soft when touched but hard when possessed"

Are they happy now
Of what she become?
Are they contented now
In the change
That made her **** her true
Self

took me almost a month to finish this piece. that's a first.

#sad

Maybe, Just Maybe

verdigris May 2017

Maybe, Just Maybe

It's starts with a phrase called 'maybe'
Brought to you by a man who's cheeky
Those eyes can easily catch your smile
But that girl will call his future wife lucky to walk down on aisle

It is something a man like him wouldn't be described
Although, some feelings will have to go and hide
There's a girl waiting right outside the door
Sad, because she has to be sharp in tongue just like her thorn

He wouldn't know what she felt when she wrote him a poem
There is something about the office that will make him feel at home
All feelings do come and go
Should I say yes? Or should I say no?

She hoped that maybe there will be something
For a girl who likes danger that is daring
Let us end this useless stuff inside her mind for you to see
Because maybe, just maybe, they are really meant to be

Only Sixteen

verdigris Apr 2017

Only Sixteen

I'm only sixteen
and yet people say I'm too naive
I'm only sixteen
and yet I know how the world works
I'm only sixteen
and yet all dreams were shattered

people say that i'm too young to understand the world, i like to prove them wrong

#sixteen #young

She Who Salutes The Broken Things

verdigris Aug 2017

She Who Salutes The Broken Things

If it is something that should not be broken
That should be your heart
If it is something that should not be shedding
That should be your tears

My dear, every mistake that you've made
One day, it will go away
If it is not for today, that will come someday
For now, we should indulge into the pain

If the battle that you are fighting for dignity
Then you're already a hero
It doesn't matter if you lost the war
There are things that should not be worth fighting for

If you feel like you're dying
Bleed for me
If you feel like stopping the time in the world
Write for me

If there is one thing that I am saluting you for?
That is for yourself, who decided to rise up from the ashes, to come back and conquer the world.

#poem

Sonnet II

verdigris Aug 2017

Sonnet II

It is amazing how much you torture me,
You're quite good with using chains in flames,
Did you see all these wounds on my right knee?
I got it from a pedestrian lane,
Words can cut a woman's deeply, soft chest,
But, you, my dear! you are an exception,
I cannot even do that to you, lest,
Do those things that leads to separation,
They say that love endures and conquers all,
But what about the things I gave up for?
We do have ups and downs, but we both crawl,
Into each other's arms for us to live,
In a place where love can heal, breathe, and give.

no iambic pentameter (although i know that it should be included into the poem)

#sonnet

Sonnet III

verdigris Apr 2017

Sonnet III

This serves as a nothing but I tell you,
Never in the existence of a life,
You'll see that words are not a useless lie,
It takes a lot of time to make this new,
But I guess you will watch these lovely hues,
For her future to be, as of for use,
No one will never discover her kind,
I am pretty sure that she stands a right,
I wish I could turn back from the time,
Where there's a madness within all the fears,
I should let this all come to rest and ripe,
Is the fruit when my heart is pure, my dears,
You told me one time, "Please just hold on tight,"
Please just let my voice be your guide, and hear.

#sonnet #petrarchan

We Dance Into The Moonlight

verdigris Jan 2018

We Dance Into The Moonlight

Here we go again
As I dance into the music
I have nothing else
But the rhythm inside me
Keeps pumping as if there's no tomorrow
Each note resonates into my soul

Bodies intertwined with a spark
Catching our breaths
Pulling our hearts in tangled mess
Blood rushing through our veins
I have loved the waltz we made
Hopeless, caring but terrifying

We were brought together by fate
But we were separated through hate
And as we came back together again
I am not asking for anything else
But you

It's not the dress and the tuxedo
We're wearing
It's not the whisper of a piano
That they're composing
But it's the chaotic, heavy love affair
That made us hard to breathe

As we are given a second chance
Into the moonlight
I let the tears fall
For you are finally in my arms
And you smile with those eyes
We already know that
Our feelings never fade

wrote this poem for like, months ago

#love

— The End —