verdigris

verdigris Jan 3

A tremble begins to settle on seething skin
She is a maker of parasitical kin
It does not consume like a dancing fire
But it amplifies with a vision of curdling desire
Just like a mother, it grows like a molding seed
A miracle of the asexual spirit in a world of greed
Abrupt in nature, beloved by its own flesh and blood
It left an intangible mark inscribed on her soul in disguise of a hunch
A precautionary tale serves a special prevention of the ugly occurrence
What a marvelous delight it becomes when it reverts as a guide, full of opulence
But not in a sense of monetary value, rather a calculated demise

How does one understand a raw creation of wrath?
What will she become after venturing the thorny path?
Does an inquiry halts her progress in activating fury?
Is there an object of her ire that requires a narrative of her mutiny?
Why does the poison never spread like death in a rush?
Can she possibly raise an army to march with an uncontrollable urge of violence?
When will she endure the thinning of her lips to match the peace of a deafening silence?
Is there a warning to keep herself intact for the coming apocalyptic days?
Will it save the dormant history of her being through enactment of saving face?
The question remains unanswered, but the fulfillment of the instrumental vengeance shall prevail

The inappropriate conception is almost complete to its term
A note emerges from an acidic confinement for the preparation of a womanly stern
This clump of a girl is not a shameful creation for the sake of tragedy
If anything, the child's fulfilling rage will cleanse her ancestors as a token of remedy
There is no reminder of a continuing paternity names on her birth
No need for prophetic visions as she strikes down the Earth
An abundant offerings on her behalf shall never satisfy her
As the melting iron starts to sizzle the plumper skin, the blinding nostalgia of rage tastes better
She has no patience for warnings to initiate an appropriate plan
The hour of her sustainable war has begun

after five years without writing poetry, i have given birth once again.

#madness #rage #freedom #motherhood #monstrosity #apocalypse

verdigris Mar 2018

i deny, therefore i am

why deny when you can just try?
if you're scared of the pain,
why force your feelings to change?
love is worth the risk and sacrifice,
trust me, all of your efforts will suffice,
nothing will stop the power of love,
especially when it is a gift from above,
you don't know if you're feeling it already,
although your heart is not beating steady,
it is that excitement stage that you're into,
but my goodness! i think i'm falling too,
don't stop when love welcomes you back,
just be thankful because it'll fill up the cracks,
isn't it amazing how optimistic i am?
with standing ovation, pushing it to scram,
ladies and gents, i know a person who fell,
only to find herself crashing into the spell,
she's into deep when she admits to herself,
but that's the problem, broken by her own self,

this was inspired by my two different friends. one of them is in denial of liking someone while the other one is scared of falling in love

#love #fear #poetry

verdigris Feb 2018

Let Me Count The Ways

I have a thousand poems to weave alone
But yours is my favorite way of expression
Sometimes, I witness a love so real
That every broken hearts will heal
It's true that it is supposed to be painful
It's quite ironic that we look like a fool
I don't care if I bleed with their weapons
You silence my inner demons
We fell apart when the love was gone
I thank God that our story is not done

I read a poem once
A sonnet with one more chance
It was written before our time
It reminds me of you that it makes me cry
I'm sorry for all of my mistakes
The only thing I don't regret is anything that I won't fake
I believe that poetry is not enough
But every pain I felt before made me tough
I always thought you weren't worth it
A reminder of my love is all you can get

A man with a leisure on his pocket
A road to happiness in a one-way ticket
His lips I can kiss
His callous hands holding mine like this
I'm always looking at your face
Not following love with haste
O, my dear love! let me count the ways

yep my first poem dedicated for the valentines day tomorrow

#love #poem

verdigris Jan 2018

We Dance Into The Moonlight

Here we go again
As I dance into the music
I have nothing else
But the rhythm inside me
Keeps pumping as if there's no tomorrow
Each note resonates into my soul

Bodies intertwined with a spark
Catching our breaths
Pulling our hearts in tangled mess
Blood rushing through our veins
I have loved the waltz we made
Hopeless, caring but terrifying

We were brought together by fate
But we were separated through hate
And as we came back together again
I am not asking for anything else
But you

It's not the dress and the tuxedo
We're wearing
It's not the whisper of a piano
That they're composing
But it's the chaotic, heavy love affair
That made us hard to breathe

As we are given a second chance
Into the moonlight
I let the tears fall
For you are finally in my arms
And you smile with those eyes
We already know that
Our feelings never fade

wrote this poem for like, months ago

#love

verdigris Dec 2017

Insomnia

Eyes wide open
White sockets kept closing in
Staring at the ceiling with brimming tears
Wobbling mouths concealing the screams
What's normal is an illusion now
They can't even save me

Tossing and turning
Trying to sleep
Darkness is an abandoned place
But why is it my perfect company in the moonlight?
Help is all I need but I'm too silent to plead

I tried my best to see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Too scared to repent my sins
Or was it all inside my mind?
To see is to believe

What I see are the things I should not believe
Faith will be lost in the depths of the abyss
Convincing myself to be saved
But each night I admit to myself
There's too much Hell inside me

Blame the sickness itself, not the person
All I ever wanted is a good day
Snatched it upon my hands
Laughing at me
I don't deserve to be happy

Aren't you tired of wearing plastic masks?
Plastered smiles are peeling off your faces
Thou shalt not be afraid
For the monsters under your bed
Are now inside of your head

That's what happens
A girl with no proper sleep
Thinking what will happen
If she vanished within oblivion
We all get tired sometimes
Frustratingly famished for a rest

Verily, verily, I say unto you
When I asked for a rest
Please take note
I will finally close my lid
Underground six feet

i could not sleep tonight, it's bothering me for days, and also.. this is what happens if i read too much poetry.

#night #thoughts

Nov 2017

cptims

November

november rain
brings so much pain
now that you're gone
the birds will sing a song
as you're welcomed to the light
we'll weep into the night
although it'll be sappy
all that matters is that you're happy

love & miss you mamaw

verdigris Nov 2017

Lost Girl

No one loves a girl with a cold heart
They changed her into something
Something she cannot help
But to wonder
And ask the Lord, her God
Why does this keep happening?
What did I do to deserve
A punishment in eternal fire

But that's just the beginning
She doesn't know
What the world had
Until they pushed her
Into a monster
She didn't even wished for

That's the world is like
Her heart and head on a spike
All light that shines through her eyes
They are panning out
All smiles that shows through her lips
They are running out

She listens to the crowd
Reflecting and changing
But the question still remains
Did she ever?
No one knows how
One thing is for sure
All they ever wanted
Is to **** the uniqueness
The authenticity that she built
From the start

Maybe it's all in her head
But she cannot find someone
To trust anymore
Until they cannot trust her too
She speaks ill of them
Because that's what she saw
When she was just innocent

If only she can find
A way to get out of here
But she can't
She wouldn't
Never in a million years

Every time the world wants to touch
Her heart
Nothing beats the same anymore
They dissect the parts of it
Every inch of it
The only thing they'll say
"Soft when touched but hard when possessed"

Are they happy now
Of what she become?
Are they contented now
In the change
That made her **** her true
Self

took me almost a month to finish this piece. that's a first.

#sad