I could write a book
With 1,000 pages
And I still wouldn’t be able
To properly describe how I feel
How I felt
About you.
How many days
How many nights
How many mornings
I woke up with you
Thinking I would have
forever
But you’re going to
Spend your forever with
Someone else.
Which is fine
I knew we weren’t meant to last forever
Maybe in a different life
A different universe.
I still think about the cool
Spring breeze rolling through
Your bedroom window the first
Time I came over
And how I couldn’t believe
I was so comfortable
That I could fall asleep in your bed
And sometimes I smell your cologne on
A random person
And think to myself
“What if it had worked out”

But I know this is for the best
And I hope you’re happy.

Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel
Something

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
Nothing

Go ahead
hold me a little longer
than usual.
You say to me,
without using any
words at all,
"it should have been me,
its still me."
Like i don't already see
those sky blue eyes
every time i close my own.
Because we're still holding
on to god knows what.
Because it is you
and it will always be you.

Never have i felt so alone.

All my friends have left
Fault of my own im sure,
For i never made the effort.
"Too busy, too tired" i said.
At first I blamed anxiety
But let's be honest,
I was just too lazy.

No family to be seen.
Packed their bags,
And off they went.
Still we talk in text, alas
no hugs through a screen.

Despite all this I was happy,
All this seemed as nothing.
As my girlfriend was my all
Best friend and family as one,
What more could i ask for?

Now we are no more.

Never have I felt so alone.

It's her words, I think,
that turn the world into gold.
Or, perhaps, the way her eyes captured entire soliloquies
and her voice took on a hint of an accent
as buttery, honey-soaked verses slid off her tongue
and filled the springtime air with such ease
that I began to wonder whether it was truly a poem
or just the lyrics of the thoughts that painted her mind.

And I know I've known her for a while
in that half-smile sort of way
and the contemplation of a wave as she passed me by
but suddenly there was nothing I wanted more
than to talk for hours under the brilliant sky,
the one whose windswept clouds were palaces
with moats of the most cerulean blue.
Though the sky may have once deserved only a passing glance
it was transformed before my very eyes
as she whispered its secrets into my awaiting ears.

I wonder, idly, what the world would be like
if she sang its soul into existence
and there's a small voice in the back of my mind,
one murmuring that perhaps she already has
but we're all too blind to see it.

It’s not that I care about him,
Or that I liked him, at all.
It’s just that,
When he didn’t love me,
He made me feel unlovable.