You asked me in a dream what I miss the most.
The dream ended before I could reply,
To tell you there's no one thing.
Not one,
But many.

1. I miss the way you talked to me. You called me "baby girl" like it was my name...

2. I miss the way you could hold every one of my broken pieces together,
Embrace like a kiln,
Melding the edges together.
Arms that felt like home to this nomad.

3. I miss how you're both my greatest strength,
And my biggest weakness...
The only man besides my father that I can't help but cry over.

4. I miss how you insisted on taking care of me,
An independent princess who got a little too used to her king...

5. I miss how you encouraged me in everything,
Convinced that together we could conquer the world...

6. I miss how you know every inch of me,
Using everything to your advantage.

7. I miss the way you would look at me,
Like I was a rare emerald,
But now I guess diamonds are more your taste...

8. I miss how quickly you became important to me,
Our lives intertwining together.

9. I miss our phone calls.
Hours at a time,
Just listening to your voice.
My inability to sleep without talking to you first...
Maybe that's why I'm up all night now?

10. Most of all,
The one thing I should've told you long ago,
I miss you.
I miss my Sun and Stars,
My lover,
My best friend.

I miss us...

What if my pain showed on the outside?
What if the mental scars showed on my skin?
The emotional wounds,
The cuts and bruises.
Yellow and green,
Black and blue.
If everyone could see what you do,
Would you stop?

If everyone saw every time you made me feel worthless,
Every time I was made to compete,
Every time you ignored me,
Would you stop?
If everyone could see how you hurt me,
Would you stop?
If you were held accountable for every word,
Every action,
Every ounce of pain you've caused me,
Would you stop?

What if the evidence was right in front of your eyes?
What if you were no longer able to deny the proof?
No amount of smiles and lies can cover it now..

Here's your proof,
These words on paper,
Like ink on my skin.
Will you stop?

How do I get through this?
What do I say?
You don't seem to understand how much pain this brings me...
To see you with her,
To see her step into the place I had once been,
To see you acting like she can fill my shoes so easily...
To see her in MY bed,
In YOUR arms,
Interlocking hands with fingers that not long ago were on MY skin.

I'm happy for you love,
But I don't wanna see her face.
I'm Wonder Woman,
An Amazonian,
Life's bullets bouncing off of me,
But I don't wanna see you with her,
I'm not that strong..

I don't wanna see you with her,
Her hands on you,
Acting like she knows you,
When she doesn't know what you've been through.

She doesn't know that you hate your father,
Or that your father may not be your father.
She doesn't know that when you were little,
You were visited by the spirit of a relative.
She doesn't know all the times we held each other while we cried..
Lost friends,
Bad family,
And an assault I will never get over..

I know I ended it first,
But I don't wanna see you with her..
I have to bite my tongue every time we talk,
Keep myself from telling you how I fell again,
Remembering why I stayed so long..
Keep myself from being selfish...

I don't wanna see you with her,
But I want you to be happy...

I don't wanna see you with her,
Which is why I need to walk away...

Please let me go...

Why won't you leave my head?
You're stalking my heart,
Invading my dreams.

You don't want me,
I live for you...
I've tried so hard to be angry,
I've tried so hard to hate you,
But you're so sweet at night.
So comfortable when you pull me in,
So sweet when you kiss me,
I almost let myself believe it's real...

The jarring sound of my own alarm pulls me from you,
Watching you smirk as I'm forced to leave.
You know you'll be in my head all day,
While you can put me from yours.
You know you'll see me later,
Whether I want it or not..

I let you in,
I let you see different parts of me.
I feared you would leave,
I was scared you would run.

But you held me,
Wiped away my fears,
Whispering
"I'm right here."

You didn't stay long...
48 hours.
A month of
"I love you" and
"Ill never leave."
Then 48 hours of
"My wish came true"
But God did you lie...

What did I expect?
I mean, really?
How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?

But we were stuck like glue.
No matter how hard we tugged away,
We snapped together,
Bearing the marks to prove it.
You tried to dissolve the bond,
Trying to break it,
Cut it off,
While I just stood and watched.

I knew there was nothing to be done,
The cord ran deeper,
Bringing you back every night.
A vision,
Haunting my dreams,
Vanishing at daybreak.

7 am: Up and at 'em!
Tired kids, two temper tantrums and one major headache.
Late out the door,
We're gonna miss the bus!
Ran up just in time to see Kid #1 off and watch her pull away,
Kid #2 pulling my hand,
Crying, whining.
Trudging home, Sighing as the door clicks shut behind me.
Thus begins another day...

8 am: No coffee, again...
4 Advil because at this point, I've built up too much of a tolerance for anything less...
Sit with kiddo as she tries to fall back asleep,
Wander into the living room,
Look longingly at the couch.
"Maybe just for a moment.."

12 pm: Chores, chores, chores.
Kiddo is whining for lunch,
I still haven't showered..
The house is a mess,
Laundry still needs to be done.
I'm so exhausted I could cry!

3:45 pm: Kid #1 is home.
She's cranky as always,
And the war begins..
The kids scream at each other all day until eventually I join in..

5-6 pm: Mom walks through the door,
Dinner is late and she's complaining,
Yelling about everything under the sun,
Nothing I do is good enough..

10 pm: Another tantrum by Kid #2,
Trying to get them both to bed.

11 pm: Thus ends another day...
Tomorrow we do it all over again...

I've always drifted in a dark place,
Dancing in the shadows,
Flirting with demise.

I've been this way for so long,
I didn't know what I was missing.
Not until a spark of life,
Grew into a flame.
A spark of happiness,
That turned into an explosion.

I functioned!
I saw!
I felt!
I embraced it,
enjoying life for the first time,
But at the same time,
Trying to shut it out.

I hated it because I knew it would leave.
How can I go back to the shadows after being in the light?

But you can't stop the inevitable..
Back to the shadows,
I drifted.

There is something about you.
Something that holds,
And won't let me go.
A magnetic pull,
A gravitational force.

You are exquisite.
I love you.

What do you do when it's time to say goodbye?
When the concrete keeps moving under your immobile feet?
When your heart stops beating in your chest.
Hanging there,
Bleeding.

You watch everything you love,
Leave you in the dust.
Powerless,
With a mouth as dry as sand,
And a body seeming to break down.

Lifes beautiful rose,
Shriveled before its first bloom.
All potential,
Lost..
Such is a life wasted...

Burn me at the roots,
Engulf me in flames,
Char my skin until I am no more.

Ball of fire,
Burning bright.
Bright as the sun,
Brimming with potential.
Amidst the deafening roar of flames,
The crackling of breaking down,
Whisper these soft words.

Beckon me,
Give me hope.
Instruct me.

Those soft verbal caresses,
The water to douse the flames.
Watch me erupt.

"Arise and be all that you dreamed."

I stare at the wall.
I should be feeling,
I should be breaking,
Crying myself into a dreamless sleep.

There's nothing.
As soon as emotion appears,
It is silenced.
Hard heart,
Cold as ice,
Freezing any pain,
Any joy,
Any sorrow.

It took years to achieve this,
Years to curse myself into perfection.
Years to feel as hollow as people seem to think I am.

Their words bounce off,
Cutting like glass as they leave.
But I feel no pain.
I am numb.

Emotionally drained,
Seeking a purpose for this empty shell.
Identity stripped,
Every tie cut,
Who am I now?

Lost soul,
Adrift in a broken world.
Monotony is the enemy,
Restlessness is driving me mad.

Mind running in circles,
A hopeless insomniac, ,
Drowning in the sorrows of lost innocence,
Every mistake ever made,
Free-wheeling in my head.

Every thought mocking,
Prickling,
Like needles under the skin.
Never letting me forget,
The eternal question...
Who am I now?

Loud city,
Fast pace,
Passing cars.
Millions of people,
Trying to keep it together.

Too busy with their normal lives,
To notice the people on the corner,
Begging,
Trying not to look you in the eye,
While the last of their dignity dies.

A single mother,
Two kids already taken away,
A brand new baby on the way.
Her faith is half gone,
And it's all she can do to hold on.
She keeps wishing on shooting stars,
Praying for a brand new start for her and her baby girl.

An old amputee,
Fighting for his country got him a stub that tapers off just below the knee.
He doesn't  need food,
Doesn't need money,
And his sign says something different
"Someone please come talk to me."

Motherless child,
Emotions turned to steel,
His only defense to anger is not to feel.
*****,
Scared,
Hungry.

Loud city,
Fast paced,
Millions of people,
Trying to keep it together.

Slamming doors,
Shattered plates,
Angry curses,
Words full of hate.

16 years,
Grown up all too fast,
Shielding everyone else from the inevitable blasts.
Broken soul,
Busted heart,
Watching her entire life fall apart.
Hide the kids,
Protect the dogs,
Pray for mercy from God.

12 years old,
Knowing the time when the burden will be hers is just down the road.
Struggling with her identity,
Just wanting a way out..

4 years old,
Enough fear to make her blood run cold.
Hiding behind her older sister,
Her guardian angel,
Protecting her from harm.
Staring at the monster that she once knew,
Covering her ears when a door is approached,
Because she knows of the inevitable slam.

Closed doors,
Glass in the trash,
Floor swept clean with soft, quiet murmurs.
All at once it seems,
The dragon has run out of fire,
And the storm has ceased.

"I'm worth it."
"I'm worth it."
"I am beautiful!"
I whisper these words over and over to myself in the mirror,
Trying desperately to make the feeling of self-worth appear.
Trying to convince myself that I am not a mistake.

All I see are flaws,
All I feel is the imperfections,
Prickling,
Like burrs nestled into my skin.
I hear their opinions,
Their condemning lies,
All of their opinions,
Based on color, ***** and size.

Shattering the mirror,
I realize,
Society can ******* about my size.
I am worth it.
I am beautiful.

I have two constant companions.
Though they've been there through everything,
No other two souls are more determined to drag me under.
Who are they?
One is named Anxiety.

Anxiety is a small green and brown monster,
Perched on my shoulder,
Whispering in my ear,
A list of everyone and everything I shoould fear.
Immobilizes me,
Suffocates me,
Choking me out and knocking me down.
Feeding on my fear,
Anxiety grows larger and larger,
Until I am the one on it's shoulder.
Whispering in their ear,
Begging,
Please stop...

The other is named Depression.
A jealous mistress indeed,
Depression keeps me under lock and key,
Blinds me until she's all I can see.
If she suspects that I start wander,
If she deems me unfaithful,
i am pulled down.
Smothered.
Suffocated.

My two constand companions:
Anxiety and Depression.
One, all consuming darkness,
The other,
Mortal paralyzation.
Both hell-bent on destroying me.

Safety. Comfort. Stability.
These things, like my life, are all up in the air.
They are a shiny red balloon,
Floating way up high.
I am the child,
Jumping higher and higher,
Trying to grasp it while it floats away.

Higher and higher,
Helium dreams,
Drifting into the clouds,
Showing no signs of stopping.

The child in me is stubborn,
Refusing to let go,
Refusing to give up,
Throwing a tantrum.
The child in me wants her balloon.
My helium dreams.

Touch me.
I won't shatter,
I won't explode.

Run your fingers through my hair.
I'm not brittle,
I won't break.

Hold me close,
Ignore the tears,
Just hold me.

It's been so long,
Since I've been touched.
So long since I've been loved.
Touch me,
Hold me,
Run your fingers through my hair.

I won't shatter,
I'm not brittle,
Just hold me.

Fresh blanket,
Cold snap,
Peace all around.

With open arms,
The angels on the ground.

Sky glows,
Crimson and orange,
As the sun sets.

One look down,
At the shadows on the snow,
Reminds me that even something so pure,
Is not safe from the dark.

Having the same dream for months.
Single space,
Covered in mist,
Looming,
Covering the ground,
Until I can't even see my own feet.

You appear out of nowhere,
Like an apparition,
Walking on the mist.

Face turned a way,
Shield of hair.
Fluid movements,
Driping with grace,
Radiating power.

I feel you more,
Closer and closer you get.
I reach for you,
My hands ache for you.
Graze your skin,
Hand closes around your wrist,
And you vanish,
Leaving only a feeling of emptiness,
An air of sadness in your wake.

And t it changes,
Sadness turns to fear.
Then comes the dread,
The feeling of knowing;
Knowing that none can protect you here.

Dark figure approaches,
Clothed in evil,
Masked in temptation.
Part of me wants to run,
Part of me wants to embrace.

The mask subsides,
Only for a moment,
A familiar feeling,
And the recognition of fluid grace.
It's you.

You're gone,
The mist subsides,
And I am awake.

If I was going to commit suicide,
it would probably be in September.
That's the month when everything goes wrong,
When everything falls apart.

It's the month when summer ends,
And it becomes fall.
When alive things die,
And sane people break.

My life always seems to crumble,
Every crack magnified,
Every tear multiplied.

It's like a Green Day song once said,
"Wake me up when September ends..."

Darkness falls,
I feel myslef slipping.
Who am I now?
Who've I become?

Falling,
Slipping,
Reaching,
Scrambling.
Help me!
Somebody, please!
Pull me from the darkness,
Save me from myself.

Night comes
But for me there's no moon,
No stars.
The only silver is the glint of my scars.
No light,
No hope,
Just a blanket of cold.

Someone, please!
Save me from myself...

"I'm fine" she tells you,
Tears rolling down her face.
Inside her heart is breaking.
Weeping on the inside,
Hiding the waterfall inside.

Pulling down her sleeves,
Wrapping her arms around her body,
Wishing for someone.

She calls back,
She's trying,
But doesn't know how much longer she can last.
Voicemail speaks,
Like a whisper of death.

She swallows it,
Accepting another restless night,
Crying herself into a sleep without peace,
Yet again...

It's like being in a glass box,
In the middle of the room.
Invisable,
Yet with all eyes on you.

On the inside,
Looking out,
Always wondering what life is about.

Wanting to get out,
Wanting to escape.
Screaming for help,
Your cries falling on deaf ears.

The loneliness suffocates,
Walls closing in.
What was once your prison,
Now is your coffin.

Middle of the room,
All eyes on you,
They pay attention only when you're dead.

What if you told me not to speak to you again?
Well if I had something to say,
I would have found another way.

I would write you a letter,
Have it sent out the next day.
If you don't answer,
I'll know you threw it away.

I would send a friend to tell you.
If he hangs his head and walks away,
I'll know you slammed the door in his face.

I would hire a skywriter to put my words in the clouds.
If you didn't call,
I would know you didn't go outside that day.

If all else fails,
I would learn sign language,
Show up on your doorstep and sign
"You told me not to speak to you again."

The city lights keep me awake at night.
Each with their own story to tell.
Their reason to blaze,
To glow.
Brightly.

A man,
Marriage hanging by a thread,
Burying himself in his work.

A wife,
Crying bitterly into the night,
Her lover having left an hour ago.

A child,
Staying with their grandparents,
Wondering what will become of their family.

So many stories,
So many lights.
It's no wonder I can't sleep at night.

Relaxation of muscles,
Slowly of breath,
Peace like this is achieved only in death.

Slipping further and further,
A spell so sweet,
Only interrupted by the chaos of dreams.

The bitterness of life,
The pain of love,
The grief of loss,
None can reach me here.
Peace swallows me whole.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,
My body,
Free for the darkness and sweet smell of lilacs to consume.

Not a speck of light,
Not a wall near,
Just an infinite space,
Tangible cloak of darkness,
Pulling me in.

Lilac-scented space,
Perfumed madness,
Swirling around me,
My graceful partner.

End of the dance,
The floor falls through,
My neck is saved only by a noose.

Dancing eternally in an empty room,
A tangible cloak of darkness,
And a lilac-scented space.

Beautiful in her own way,
Pure,
Living in grace.

How do I make her understand?
How do I make her see?
It isn't her face or her body that appeals to me.
Though she is different from her sisters,
She has ten times the worth to me.

We met on the day when it seemed the sun would never shine brighter,
It filtered through leaves of green,
Light moved around her as though in a dream.

Sweet nymph,
Gentle girl,
I knew as soon as I saw her.
We'd run away together,
Take on the world together,
And when the time comes,
Our ship will go down in flames,
With us holding the torches.

We ran,
Breathing hard,
Not looking back.

Hand in hand,
Into the thicket.
They'll never find us,
We'll never surrender,
Together we can survive.

We had to leave,
We had no choice.
They tried to break us,
Make it to where we couldn't breathe,
I almost didn't recognize you,
And you didn't know me.

They couldn't break us,
We decided to breathe,
I recognized you,
You remembered me.
They can't tell us what we can't have.
So, we ran.

Heart so pure,
Face so sweet,
You used to make my heart skip a beat.
So who is this monster before me?
Who is this blood-thirsty demon?
My caged love?
Or something sinister?

Used to be as gentle as a faun,
Now resembles the predator who kills viciously  everything good.
I know you're in there somewhere,
My beautiful darling.
All my fault,
Your imprisonment,
Didn't protect you like I should've.
One bite and it's all over,
No cure,
No time.

I promised to never give up,
To bring you back to me,
To find a cure.

I failed.
There's no hope.
I cradle your demise as I watch you sleep,
Steel my heart,
Feeling it break in two.
Forgive me for what I am about to do...

I'm sorry my sweet,
I love you my darling,
Goodbye sweetheart...

The broken bells chimed high today,
Signaling the end.

Broken bell,
Broken sound,
For the broken people on the ground.

Looking up,
Feeling down,
Humming along with that sweet, broken sound.

"It is like sadness and joy,
Coming together,
Nothing sweeter,
Nothing more depressing."

Those who hear it often say,
And none had ever heard it more clear than today.
The broken bells chimed today,
Signaling the end,
For the broken people on the ground.

All I see are lonely hearts,
Standing,
Shivering in the dark.

The demons are closing in,
Shadows toying with their minds,
Imprisoning them in their own life.

Hiding from the truth,
They cover the proof.
Clean the blood in the snow,
Never let the skeleons show.

Hiding their faces,
Showing no fear.
But all I see are lonely hearts,
Quaking,
Shivering in the dark.

Blood in the snow,
Skeletons in the closet,
The demons are closing in.

We found each other,
Two souls lost in a hurricane,
Searching for an anchor,
Grasping each other.

I pulled you out of the dark,
You glued the pieces of my broken heart.
You said that you were no saint,
Bu I am an angel.
Well if I am an angel,
Then you were my savior.

We were molded together, you and I,
Two broken creatures living side by side.
When did we break?

Left me for another,
Did the same thing to her that you did to me,
Now she's broken, I'm broken, and you're scott free,
Living your dream.

Here I am again,
Cleaning up the mess you made,
The hearts you left behind.
But we're alright,
Lost souls in your hurricane,
We've found each other.

We thought it was empty,
Until we stepped inside.
The broken dreams and shattered hearts,
The cries of despair,
Lingering spirits reminding us oth their existance.

Empty little down,
Sad little town,
Desolated, destroyed little town.

Sweet little shadows,
Tender little spirits,
Guiding us through the ruin.

They never saw it coming,
Their surprise fate,
Seizied upon them while at play.

Blink of an eye,
Gone in a flash,
Nothing left,
No future, only past.

Little flame,
Flickering bright.
Trapped in your birdcage shaped prison,
Beating against the bars,
Trying to be free.

Needing to blaze brght,
Dreaming of fighting,
Flitting in place,
Burning in,
Fading out.

Your captors try to contain you,
Burn you out and train you,
But you have a strength they can't take away,
A hope,
A desire,
The dream that you will one day fly.

Burn through your bars,
Blaze bright,
Fly away.

Sinking,
Drowning,
Gasping for air.

Hands outstretched,
I know you're out there somewhere.
Please don't let me down,
Please don't let me go.
I'm trying to fight,
But I can't do this alone.

Pull me out,
Don't let me drown.
It's caving in on me,
Pressure that I can't see.

Been so long on my own,
Holding tight to the hope that you will show.
Asking for you to pull me out,
But you just ad weight and let me drown.

Running out of time,
No air,
Please don't let me go...

Rising from the smoke,
Shaking off the ashes of a world destroyed.
The tide is turning,
This broken angel is switching sides.

Her once torn and filthy wings,
Unfold.
From the fire,
Dead plumage gone,
New, shimmering onyx.
Black and full.

Gone are the stains of tears,
Shed by those sheltered.
Gone are the bald spots,
Feathers pickedto make someone else's wings.

She emerges,
A new, beautiful, frightening creature.
Heart of stone,
Voice of ice,
Replaces that which was sweet, warm,
Gentle and nice.

With the strength of new wings,
She pushes those she sheltered,
She throws them into death's waiting arms.

Soaring high on traitor's wings,
She looks down at the frightened faces that she left behind,
Their vacant stares,
Looking their fate in the face.

Heart of stone softened,
Ice melted and tears streamed down her face.
One look towards Heaven,
A prayer on borrowed breath,
"Lord forgive them, they know not what they did."

With a final tear,
She fell.
Trading new life for heartbreak,
And sheltering those who betrayed her.

Emerge from the depths,
Let your beauty shine,
Sing your song for me tonight.

An exquisite creature,
Graceful as a wave.
Your otherworld beauty shines like the moon,
Silver scales glint in the light,
A welcome distraction.

Beautiful and mysterious,
The charming seductress of the sea.
Luring poor souls to beautiful death.

Do you need love?
Do you need to pamper selfish vanity by proving your beauty deadly?

Swim mystical enchantress,
Shine your scales another night.
Sing for me again

Once upon a time, you never loved me.
Once upon a time, I was a happy child.
Once upon a time, I didn't feel like a stranger in my own body.
Once upon a time, I could actually feel emotion.
The thing about "once upon a time" is,
It's a big ******* fairy tale.

We're called survivors,
Told we're heros,
So strong,
Yet treated as fragile glass.
Why?
Because we're the people at the back of the class.
We're those people that get thrown nervous glances,
As if we're a grenade about to blow.
We're those people who wear our feelings and hard times on the outside,
Yet we don't suffer as much as it seems.

These feelings,
These pains,
These tragic affairs,
They're not ours,
They're yours.

We're the people at the back of the class,
The ones who feel with our hearts instead of our hands,
The ones who shove aside our hurt to pull you from yours.

We take our proverbial wings and glue them to your back,
Keeping you afloat.
We fall further and further from Heaven,
Giving you your glimpses.

We crack and we bleed,
But we put on a good front,
We pull ourselves together and offer you a smile.

We are the broken glass,
The bombs that have blown,
And those glances thrown back in your face.
Avert your eyes like always,
Ignore those false heros,
Don't acknwledge these hands,
These hearts who ache for you.
After all,
We're just some kids in the back of the class.

I gave you everything I had,
It still wasn't enough.
I gave you my life,
My voice,
My time.
You took everything and just kept running.
You didn't even look back...

I'm lying here,
Trying to pick myself back up.
You were my family,
My friends,
So why am I choking on your dust?

Why am I so disposable?
Why do I mean so little to you?
After everything we've been through?
I was there for you through it all,
I swore I'd never let you fall.
I striped my own wings and glued them to your back.
And while I fell,
It was you I pushed up.

I put you on a high shelf,
Like a beautiful doll with a china face;
My heart in your hands,
Now you've fallen from grace.
If you come running back to me,
I'll put my tattered remains in your hands,
I'll let one last smile for you cross my face,
And I'll just turn and go.

I gave you everything I had,
You took everything,
You never looked back.

Nobody answers the phone when I call,
When I message, they look and walk away.
Nobody takes time to ponder,
Nobody takes time to think.
They don't answer,
They don't realize how easy it could be.

What if that girl you just ignored needed someone to talk her down from her ledge?
What if that call you just declined was one that could have saved a life?
What if that kid who always messages you does it because he deluded himself into thinking that someone actually cares?

"It's not my problem."
"They'll be okay."
"I was just really busy that day."
Is this justification?
Or lies you tell yourself over and over to hide the fact that you threw them away?

It's simple really,
Don't be a *****.

Everything has changed.
My grandpa could work circles around young men,
He would laugh and play with me.
My mom was my best friend,
My dad was the coolest person ever.
Siblings were to play with,
And my stuffed animals would fight the monsters under my bed.

Everything has changed.
My grandpa can barely walk now and sleeps  all day,
My mom and I hate each other and try to stay away,
I now know that my dad is a cruel, sick *******.
And instead of having siblings to play, I had siblings to raise.
Now I realize that no one can save me and the "monsters" are inside of me.
Everything has changed.

I see a face in the mirror and wonder,
Who can that be?
Surely that girl can't be me...

Her face holds a happy smile,
Her cheeks have no stains,
Her entire expression is frozen.
I knew that surely we weren't the same...

I am empty and devoid of joy,
I have cried so many tears,
My cheeks are permanently stained.
My face contorts like a monster,
Dealing with conflicting emotions.
Surely we aren't the same.

The girl in the mirror checks her makeup,
She walks out the door.
I'm left with the realization,
I am not me anymore.
The girl in the mirror is who I've become.
Frozen.
Acting.
Reese Witherspoon couldn't have done better.

I'm coming home, love.
I'm coming home to you.

Though I may be hundreds of miles away,
Though I may have to walk on broken glass,
I'm coming home.

I know you feel lonely,
I know you're missing me tonight.
Honey, just think of me,
Feel me holding you tight.
Think of me and know that I'm coming home.

I'll walk through Hell and fields of fire,
I'll fly through the eye of the worst storm.
Even if I'm delayed,
Please just know,
I'm coming home to you.

I'm not the one you used to know,
I'm the girl that was left out in the cold.
Nobody cared,
And if they did,
They never said so...

I tried so hard to numb the pain,
But you can't really do that and expect to stay the same.
Nobody knew how much was really wrong,
So I laughed and smiled and played along.

Whenever I tried to reach out,
I was left grasping in the dark.
A million doors in my face,
So I turned to the window,
Only to find it painted shut.

Trapped in my own unhappiness,
Alone in the emptiness that is my soul.
I'm not the one you used to know,
Left out in the cold.
If you care,
Please say so...

I need some help,
But all I get is thrown on the ground,
I'm lost for words and I don't know what else to say.

I know I let you down,
But I was just so scared to be alone.
After you left,
My heart was locked up,
Too afraid to let anybody in.

For years it rested so comfortably on my sleeve.
Year after year,
Little by little,
I was torn, broken and bleeding.
Everyone it was ever trusted with, left.

No my little heart is tired,
Tired of crying out for help,
Tired of being left.
So just know,
You were the last...

It's only 12:31,
But it feels as if I've been up forever and a day,
I tried getting some help,
But all I got was doors in the face...

It's 3 a.m and I'm still awake,
I pick up the pen and put it to the page.

With every word I gain some feeling,
With every line, I look for answers.
The scratch of the pen meets the beat of my heart,
The hideous scribbles trying to be art.

It's 3 a.m and I'm still awake,
I pick up the pieces of myself that keep falling,
Pick them up to keep from breaking down.
With every scratch of the pen,
I only break more.
Every wall broken down,
Every facade shattered,
And everything under the carpet is swept out the door.

It's 4 a.m and I'm still awake,
I put down the pen and rip out the page.