You do not love him.
For ****'s sake: you do not love him.
You are scared of being alone-
we all are. You are scared of being alone
despite your claims of freedom and independence;
all those hours you spend alone
in the comfort of the screen,
or else in the haunts of all the tracks
he has trod or stumbled over before
in the meadow of your memories.
You do not love him.
You love the happiness that has passed between you,
like teenage *****; like childhood sugar;
you outgrow everything
that was not built for your needs.
You know that I am.
You know that I am.

You were a trophy
before I met you.
Thought that making it with you
would be enough for my happiness.
Then, I met your sadness.

How you cannot see
how wonderful you are:
the waterfall that falls too fast
to ever account for its own beauty.

You were a trophy
before I found that you held no value
in yourself; no capacity
in your cup, even when full of wine.

You were a trophy
before I met you.
Now, I do not wish
to hold you aloft
to the crowds;

instead, to hold you in the sheets-
far, so far, from here.

I cannot stop drinking tonight
I cannot stop smoking
I've had my fill
but the hunger resides
There is always something more
that I should be doing
There is always an impossible deadline
a misfortune in the breeze
I cannot stop thinking tonight
I cannot stop thinking

The bonfire left ash in your drink.
The sea was rolling blindly
outside our sphere of light on the beach.
I kissed you drunk on the lips.
I kissed you high on your thighs.
The world toiled in its movements
as we fell beneath the aching moon,
finally hurting, finally pleasing;
finally ending all of the question marks
with the solution of our *** in the sand.
I kissed you drunk on the lips
and told you that I loved you.
The bonfire left ash in your drink.
The night let life in your heart.

life is up and down good days and the bad

somedays they are happy somedays they are sad

its a part of life that we have to face

its the same for everyone each and every place.



but life must go on. we must try our best

we must use survival when it puts us to the test

take it in our stride live life day by day

then we will survive. what ever comes our way

i can't help but feel sad
over all the people i'll never get to meet.
never feel the calloused hands that have turned the earth inside and out
never see the eyes of those who have chased the sun, moon, and stars
never trace the constellations they weave in their heads.

this world is overrun with beautiful souls
but not enough me-
why can't i have more hands to hold the ones stretching out to me?
why can't i have more legs to carry me further across?
let me meet them halfway
between "what i know" and "what i could know."
let me go
i beg of you
please let me go.

there are so many beautiful souls
but not enough me-- not enough me.

so instead i will embrace the bodies before me
i will hold out my frail hands
and read theirs like they're the last book i'll ever read.
i will be afraid to blink
in hopes of watching every sunset they extend.
i will carry their hearts wherever i go
and wear their lives through each season.