Never give up, for the Miracles might be around the corner.
The Great wonders that you see are God's way of revealing himself.
For he know exactly what it shall take to get your attention here.
For he knows everything about you, the food that you shall east.
He knows when you shall go to sleep and when you shall wake up.
He knows whom you shall marry and if you shall get a divorce as well.
He knows your heart, the people that you shall love in your life.
He knows if you shall fall in love with him or if you do not love him.
For he was the one whom spoke you into existence here on the earth.

I can feel it wearing on my skin, a deterioration of my bones, sandpaper on my heart, carving holes and smoothness in paces were they don't belong, polishing me into something it isn't. Inside my head I'm screaming but its hard when everyone knows better, everyone is telling me what to do, no one is willing to let me just do things my way, those ways are wrong, always wrong, and I need to stop them or else. Or else what? I'm not even sure I just know its bad and bad is bad and that's something I'm not supposed to be doing.

My body is caving in on itself, but I don't have the time for it, I'm late, so very late, for all the important dates and I can't let the axes fall and the queens to get angry for I can't waste any time with my head chopped off. I have to keep it together. I must keep it together. I have no choice but to keep it together.

I can't lose anything. I've built my mountain of progress and though my heart is being sandpapered into a mess and a circle of conformity and pain, I can't stop I can't breathe if I breathe a breath of my own air they reject it and my new lungs they gave me reject all air that is original. I can't breathe. I can't keep things together. Everything is a broken cacophony of madness and I cannot silence them and they fill my lungs and bleed me of oxygen until my body is panicking and I'm not breathing.

I want to feel better. I want the monsters gone and the fear and the shattered fragments to find their place somewhere safer than the tips of my fingers and the center of my heart. I'm so scared. I'm so tired.

I'm tired of trying and failing and having no time to breathe and when I try to give myself time to breathe I'm not better and things hurt more and everything spiraling down, down, down, and I can't stop it its like my brakes are broken and I'm careening into traffic and I'm trying to save myself but my airbags are broken and my windshield is shattered and my bones are brittle and my seat-belt is choking me and I know that if I don't get the brakes to stop soon I'll be dead but I know if I stop driving I'll hate myself more so I pray to unnamed gods and figments of my imagination to let me live past one more intersection so that I don't have to stop never stop and just keep on going forward.

I don't know if I'll make it, but I can't stand the idea of braking now. I could lose everything I've ever dreamed of, and I can't stand the thought of that.

I'm so tired and everything hurts, but I can't brake now, I can't sleep now. It might **** me but losing everything would **** me too. Stuck between a whirlpool and a seven headed *****, guess I'm picking the ***** and hoping I have enough marbles by the end to make it through.

Please stop being tired.

It's almost that time of year again,
When I have to say goodbye...
and you're still nowhere to be found.

I want to just run away and never come back,
drug myself into a wondrous stupor
Numb
from your mutilating grief.


"I'm done mourning"
I keep saying.
I'm not.
I haven't even properly started...

Maybe I should join you...
In the great abyss.

If we are but grains of sand,
he is a warm embrace and soft kisses as
she is the single pearl ring given to a blushing date.
If we are but grains of sand,
he is the oyster that works like a factory and
she is now part of the bracelet given to the new bride.
If we are but grains of sand,
he is the hands that pries her free but
she is already in the long necklace hanging from the neck of a grieving widow.
If we are but grains of sand,
he is the greatest lie and
she is the most lovely tragedy.

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED!!!

Tie the noose and kick the chair
Take your final breath of air
Open the bottle and down the pills
Cry and gasp and then fall still
Write the note to see if they care
Then go jump down a flight of stairs
You're pathetic and worthless
You'll never do well
You're wasting our air
I hope you rot in hell.

From the northern skies they came
to make peace they claimed
but the fury in their eyes holy and old
we knew that what they said was lies

Our control is everything
our worlds ours
we will fight to the bitter end
to keep our lands and worlds

None will touch me in fury
for I am that sweet tempest
I am the glory
that sweet dark warrior

Oh how fast I fly
taking Angels out of the sky
oh do they fear me
and most kneel to me

For I am the fury
of light and dark
and some dark nights
you will hear me howl or bark



By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris