I miss you
Like, a lot
But I felt like at times I was in the way
Of you doing better things
Bigger things
I didn't want to mess up
Something that was so good
A friendship that was only good
Because I mess things up
Like, a lot
So I gave you some space
For you to do what you wanted
How you wanted
But now I'm wondering if I messed up
Like, a lot
Because I miss you

So I'm supposed to be a grown up now and do grown up things,
Like pay bills and actually go to the gym to do more than look at cute guys.
And I am supposed to find a place to live on my own,
Where I will do groceries and cook meals, healthy meals that are not craft dinner out of the ***.
And I'm going to have to clean everything by myself,
I guess I need to buy cleaning supplies, like a vacuum and toilet cleaner and windex.
And I will work, go to a job everyday,
But it can't just be any job, it has to be something I love because I don't want to be one of those people who hates their job.
And now that I am a grown up I will watch the news,
And shake my head at the politicians and vote.
And my room will always be super organized,
With little boxes for everything and dressers I bought and assembled myself from IKEA.
That's right, I assembled them myself. I may have had to borrow my Dad's tool box but I did it myself.
That's another thing I need to, buy a tool box.
All of these things need to be done now because I am a grown up.
But how am I supposed to be a grown up when I still feel like a kid?

You were in my dreams last night
Where we met in a world that was combination of both of our own
You held my hand and pulled me close
Made me feel like I wasn't alone
Sitting in the restaurant booth and looking at you
I wanted to tell you everything
I wanted you to know all my truths
But for some reason I don't think I'll ever understand
I did not tell you a thing
But instead we sat in the booth just looking at each other smiling

It felt like it was the time to do nothing
Especially after everything that had been done
But even the weather argued with me
Barley giving me any time to celebrate the completion
Before forcing me to start something new
Because there was still so much to do.

I want you to love me
The way you loved me before
Back when all I did was good
When you understood
I was doing the best I could.
I want you to look at me
The way you looked at me before
Not like I was the answer to all your questions
But like you knew
I was going to help you find the answers.
I want you to talk to me
The way you talked to me before
Like you trusted me enough
To know that I am willing to listen
But no matter how you talk at me
no matter how you look at me
no matter how you love me
I will always love you
As much as I did before
If not more

He thought he was an
Ordinary boy
One with shaggy hair
And brown eyes
And freckles that covered his nose
He wore the same red sweater all the time
His smile perfectly crooked
The way his voice sounded
Heavy and deep
But he was never an ordinary boy
Because his shaggy hair
Was always the feeling she recognized
And his brown eyes were a shade
One she had never seen before
And the freckles on his face
Were stars that she created new constellations with
Every time she saw his face
That awful red sweater smelled like him
No matter how many times you washed it
His smile was the thing that made her
Do the same
And his voice warm
Like a blanket
Wrapping around her every time he said her name
And it was only him who made her feel this way
Because he was no ordinary boy.

She knew she wasn't supposed to fall for him
But she was never
Really
Good with following instructions
Even ones she wrote herself
She would glance at the manual
Every now and then
But always focused more of the final picture
More than anything else