I'm still standing even though  you are gone
Today is my 16th birthday and I miss you so much
I wish you were around because I don't know what to do
you said when I turned 16 you'd take me to get my belly button pierced
Even though I was against you still pushed and pushed
Because I was like a third daughter to you
I was like family
And you were my second mom
I miss all the times we had
And now I am alone
I miss you so much
But When asked How I'm doing since you passed
I'll say the three words you always said with a Smile
" I'm Still Standing"

Oh how I wish I had someone to hug.
Someone to take my mind off of the things in my life
When I see couples laughing and hugging my heart aches.
But I will never have one. Boys never look at me like that
Never with that twinkle in their eyes
Someone to call just mine
Someone to hug
Someone to laugh
Because no one will ever like me
I've ruined my chances when I was young
Everyone will get married and I'll only be a bridesmaid
I wish someone would love me
Someone who will give their all to me
Someone who cares deeply about me
Someone who likes my smile and knows all my tickle spots
Oh how I wish...

You have no idea how much I keep to myself
no idea how much I stay silent
I keep to myself because I know you're busy
Because you have more important things in your life happening
You're going off to college soon
Studying for those tests
You have no idea how much I want to reach out to you
Just to talk like we used to
Or how I thought like we used
It might have been one-sided
But I can't remember because every time I talked with you my sadness went away
You don't realize how happy you make me
Next year when you won't be in school
It will be sad
But maybe that will be for the best
Because I know you're busy and you don't have the time like you used to for me
Not saying goodbye but maybe see you later
Maybe just maybe when you go off to college you'll see how important I really was in your life
Or maybe you'll realize that you're better off without me
I want to talk to you so badly that was happening in my life but I know you're busy so I keep it to myself
So have fun in college make some music and some friends
And hopefully you'll text me when you wanna talk for just because

I become my self when I am alone
when it is late at night when I am studying for that test
or finishing homework
or a Last minute Article
That is when I reflect on all that I do
I wonder about others
and how they are doing
I always try and make a plan for the next day
so I don't mess it up
People don't realize how hard it is to be me
How much I do behind the scenes so everyone can have fun
They will never know how stressed I am at night behind closed doors

What did I do to get those stares?

Why do you guys look at like I'm a freak.

They whisper and stare at me when I Board the bus.

I'm just like you guys.

I came back for the Love of the Sport.

Not to be a Nuisance.  

I came because I love the sport. I don't care if I don't play.

So Please don't give me the look why am I here?

and Ignore me like I'm not there.

I know I got cut from the team. I know I don't have my Serve.

I know I seem weak.

Like I can't do my Job.

But I'm trying my Hardest.

I want to please you guys.

I want you to see that I'm here to help.

The stares and whispers are breaking me.

I'm going to have a breakdown.

Because I know you guys don't want me there.

I know why Stick around somewhere where you aren't wanted?

I want to show them I care enough. That I am strong enough.

I Just wish that's how they saw me.

Why did you have to leave?

Why did you have to go?

Did I do something wrong?

I Just want to Know

My whole Life I wonder this

As everyone one by one fades out of my Life

Some Stay with good intentions

Those are the ones I can trust

But You have to give your Trust first

In order to see who will Stay

and They always take Pieces of me when they Leave

Parts I can Never get back.

That's when the People who stay'd with me

When I was falling apart

When I was at my worst

Help try and rebuild me back together

with the New Pieces and parts we have created Together.

I wonder if I were to disappear
Who would miss me?
Who would live their lives without me? Who would search for me?
Who would forget me?
I wonder who in this world cares about me?
I just wonder who cares sometimes.