I don't want to
Get lost
In you
But I fear
I have travelled
Much too
Far.
I never planned on
Staying up
Till four am
Wondering
About the thought
Of us.

I want to be there
Next to you
So your whispers
And secrets
Fill my ears
So I can hug you
Kiss away your tears

I don't read you anymore
polluted all my secret spots
and if you wrote one thousands words
my eyes won't have a single one
you see I have a billion thoughts
already
plastered in my head
one more word
i feel of yours
might corrupt each word I've said
and so I'll kindly let you know
that i won't
read anymore poems
i'm still so lost in my own soul
your stories
pour pain down my throat
and
i'm trying like a king
to be open to this reading
not really knowing much about you
confuses what I should believe in

If I were a tree,
I'd be a good tree.

Its as if there is a vice grip
On my heart
And every time you kiss me
It squeezes me harder and harder
I feel stuck and safe
You're constantly there
Around my heart
And you know the power you hold
You know I am
As needy as an infant
As a senile old woman
As a *******
I need you to constantly tell me
"I love you I love you"
So I know you won't leave me
And if you do
I can hold that against you
That you love me
And my constant needing pushes you away
And I am just sorry that I am like this

Cleanse me
Free me
Cool me
Your rhythm soothes me
Rain.

there's a definite weight in my chest. maybe my heart is just made of lead or maybe it's the weight of my regrets pressing down on my ribcage. i'm laden with disappointment, it rests on my collarbones and sleeps on my shoulders, slowly pushing me six feet under.

and the weather is perfect outside where skin would be just enough.
i want to romp the world with you, naked as the day we were born,
feeling like with you it really is the first day of my life.
we will roll in the grass, and of course you are allergic to everything in nature
don’t worry, darling.
i will soothe your burning, blistering skin with butterfly kisses.
we will skinny dip, even though neither of us are particularly skinny
(we have your favorite chinese mexican takeout place to thank for that)
and i will slap your **** in the semi-darkness, giggling.
watching the sun go down, I will forget what anything feels like on my skin
other than your breath and hands

Perhaps we have no control
of our destinies
that all our choices
are preconceived
and if we are to
make the wrong
indecisions
they all lead to
similar conclusions
and choice is merely
a delusion