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exploring my mind for a topic,
and all that comes up is you;
I miss the taste of your skin,
and the look of infinite love in your eyes.
you're the only soul in this world that's lifted me up with just a smile,
a word,
a look.
you have me forever.
love like this is irreplaceable.
our time in this universe
is ridden with a luminous oddity
for light is a rarity
in the biorhythm of the macrocosm

the normality is jet
nothing
inky, obsidian slate

such liquid void drips laboriously
completely free from ejecting effort
like beads of pine sap among evergreen needles
seeping in a slowed, oozing, endless rush
at gravity's inevitable, gentle tug

eventually it will consume the cosmos
like maple syrup poured atop a whole-grain waffle
primarily, the charcoal sweetness fills
the quite purposeful lack of solidified batter
but then greedily begins to swallow the flaky bread

it bleeds
spurting with immense weight and impossible magnitude
until each limb dissolves
drifting away in the acidic salt of onyx crimson

what would I see at this inevitable state?

I am in a cave
open to the same air as the peaks of mountains
and it is so dark
I see more color with my eyes closed

my vision feigns my mind
I almost believe the expected:
the twirling endless cluster of shining cream
spiraling above my head
For those of you who do not know, 'phosphene' is the term used to describe the phenomenon that occurs behind closed eyes when one sees sparks of colors, regardless  of the presence of actual, visible light. It has been described as 'a universe behind my eyelids' and 'the stars I see with my eyes closed'.
(also yes, the comparison of the universe to a waffle was meant to be somewhat comical)
You were fingers drumming on the steering wheel, eyes always on the road ahead, inhaling the blend of my anxiety and your charm, exhaling gusts of songs I didn’t know I liked and ease that doesn’t belong to either of us. You were major chord progressions and eight o’clock lighting that you can’t hold under your thumb any better than the youth that you tuck into your back pocket as a precaution, only there for show, never for use.

You were self-deprecating humor that’s not real anymore by the time it’s fallen into your palms and a dose of sincerity pushed under your tongue like a vitamin you hope you never taste before washing it down. And you wash it down with everything and anything that makes you feel warm. You were the bits of everyone who’s ever made you feel warm so I sat like a radiator in your passenger seat hoping to radiate right into your core.

You were kindness on the dashboard and fears in the trunk, bumping up against the shell of your light blue disposition at speed bumps and leaned up against the walls of your mind on the straight aways. Audible under the sound of your laughter. Only audible if you were listening (I was listening) while you hummed along to words you don’t mean enough to say out loud.  But your affections sit like pennies behind the windshield, clinking together in sync with the sound of conversations you can’t help but have. You can’t help yourself at all. It’s always warm behind a wall of glass.

You were nights right before they became mornings because if time slips away then you never have to catch it. Time got caught in the space beneath your ribs until you diluted it with a love for everything bigger than you and filled yourself until you could be something bigger than Thursday nights and dog eared pages to books that no one recommended. And in the middle of a sunrise, something you could always say goodnight to, you were arms wrapped around someone smaller than you, holding onto something bigger than any of us, tapping out syllogisms like Morse code and like fingers on steering wheels.
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