i should be resting
the bustling cars changed to windy fields
i should be thriving
finally safe to take off the mask of secrecy

but why can i hear the injustice louder
the farther i go
why do i feel the call even stronger
when i just let go

is it not my dream to be free
the happy-go-lucky
yet it still feels like I’m pretending
the pain is alive somewhere, beating

if i’m to get burned
just because I believe in You
then there’s no regret on it

i wonder how does she feel
to be loved for embracing her pinkness
yet admired when expressing her anger
to believe that she can do it
to be grateful for everything
to feel safe enough to smile
to be brave against people’s malice

adulting is
making mistakes
and being responsible of it’s consequences
even if it wipes my good image
like rain that soaked my hair and clothes
at least I’m standing still

I love you, even when
you didn’t get that full marks
I love you, even when
you didn’t publish that writing
I love you, even when
you didn’t finish task for reasons
I love you, even when
you lose it all and forgotten

that’s all you want to hear

there is a small planet in my belly
mysterious and silent
I wiped my tears and ignored it
then walk the crowd like a normal school girl

there are people who demand me something
that only God can give
their hidden shaming speeches
turned my held back tears into acid

there are little girls who survived war
below their very own roof
no child is created to carry such wound
so it was molded into small planets

all the lords shut silent in worry
as the sky fall, how did i started it

i hike the stairs just to feel my heart race
never felt more alone, now i know it

you don’t wanna care, bye
said you’re gonna come, lie
it’s my own fight, right
caught in the storm, died

was it guilt that turned your mighty face
wanna clean your hands, hate me instead
thanks
thanks for everything

all these dark emotions unlocked
at least i let this anger out
they said i was fool for accepting
it’s fine i learned and healing