On February 15th
A day immediately after another you hate
You told me, "Smiling doesn't get you anywhere in life."
I can't explain the way my guts turned
The way my thoughts burned with
all of the memories
All the times I felt I could be ready to die
And you would look me right into my tear filled eyes and say: "Smile babe, don't cry."
And all I can wonder now is,
What changed that for you?
Is it the way that I loved you so roughly
I tore you into pieces
That no longer believe in the beauty of a smile?
Was it life and all of it's choices,
All of it's choosing that removed
the smile that was like a bruise upon your
beautiful face?
Or did you let your sorrows erase you?
Was it your lack of freedom?
Was it the fact that people are idiots
Who find gold mines inside of beautiful people like you
and still don't know how to treat them?
Have you been ****** dry?
Pretending the smile came from inside you every time
I've ever seen it
That mile long walk across the teeth that emerged from the midst of your lips
when you felt it.
My God, you were my heaven.
You used to smile like the ends of your mouth could grow their
own hands,
Reach into the mirrors in your eyes
and pull your soul out
Like the sun was smiling back at you
and the midst of your troubles
Telling you the night you'll only endure for a moment
But the light from my lips will return
in the morning, I promise.
Like the moon lit your room with the light so perfect.
When we kiss you swear that heaven had birthed it
Like there were angles in
attendance that tore love from you appendage
And shoved it down my throat
Forcing me to swallow it whole
Like the glow from your soul
became the light in your eyes
I was so used to having guide me,
having hide me from the darkness
You used to smile and it would tear me apart
but you are so, so
different now.
I don't know who you are,
I can't figure you out.
But if I retrace the steps in my mind
I can count all the times I've seen
you hurt
Seen all the weight you've been
forced to carry
And maybe, in that moment I'd
kneel before you
Knees kissing the ground beneath me
and ask you to place your burdens upon my shoulder
And I would carry them for you
for this lifetime
and 10 lifetimes over
Just so the weight of your burdens
wouldn't become the pain in your smile
Just so the thought of a smile
wouldn't keep weighing you down
Just so you would believe that
everyday of my life
I spend 15 seconds taking a glimpse into heaven
when you smile
You don't know the beauty of it all
I've seen the slowing of a heartbeat
that is aged with its pain
Restart and beat with a rapidity
that will make infinity ashamed
I've seen scars heal
Minds filled with positivity
People brought together
Friendships meded
Soul mates found
And all of this was just from a smile
So the next time i see it
I'll run into your arms like the wives of children
Of the soldiers whose souls were
thought to be stolen by the lives
that they've taken
Mistakes they've made
By the pieces of themselves they have
thought they lost
And you will show me the way back
to myself and watch me become as
new as I always do
And maybe this love turn into one thing
that birthed a thousand other
that give you a reason to smile
It may take a while but I've never seen anything more beautiful
than what I see when you do
And I don't believe in anything like I believe in you
So smile for me, even when this
world tries to tear you into two
Smile for me because, I love when you do
I love when you do.

Today is knowing
that the night before
was only a feeble attempt
to delude myself
into thinking
that the world spins around
me and my ideals.

Today I know better.
Today I am sober.

Love.

Love, is an ocean.
Echoes in, forever, motion

Love, is a breath
Too deep, to chest

You asked me what Love was, once,...
& I, knew naught thereof


Well,
Are you a puddle,
or an ocean?

When those that you love
throw rocks,
do they fall
to silt or sand?

Can you,
under storm,
feel the calm,
as it falls deep

Because if you embodied Love
arms out, stretched
shore to shore

& you took the sun,
as you took the storms

Knowing everything
thrown at you,
it'd all fall
to the floor

where darkness
takes hand
to make it all
just, no more

For when you find,
your silt & sand
you'll rest easy,
with the done
& what can

& the second,
you see him,
It'll feel like
you've never felt love before,..

Because you're okay,
knowing pain,
is soon sand

These moments, so fleeting
Deep breaths that I can finally take
The peace, so rare
A time that I can quit thinking of what's at stake

This peace, seemingly imaginary
An illusion created in solitary
Yet the fire ignited, so fierce
A proof of a wonderful reality

I inch trembling fingers into the blaze
Flames licking my fingers, carressing each knuckle
Skin popping and blistering but yet
I defiantly hold the fire's gaze

This flame, had me create a belief
That many things are not what they seem
It may seem silent
But a furious war is blazing

Breaths caught in my throat
Air trying to crawl out from my lungs
A step back, another
In search of the peace, that melodious song

And night falls...
So we fall asleep, tenderly...
When the sun rises again...
...Those moments and flames await

Astraea
**rinnette