Orbit around me and forget I exist
feed me the dust falling and rising inside of your head
watch how I accept your dying
seasons with gratitude for
you have become the very reason
why my feet spin in this empty space
without making a point.
But when I the darkness rise, the mountains fall
into deep purple slumber like the moon,
yawning as the sky keeps mumbling at us
it's inescapable questions.
Moist shores continue to gaze at the floating stars
above, gliding and swimming the black waters
distant and untouchable like a dream.
The talking has been left behind.
The moaning of the beautiful is resonating everywhere
every place, every corner, every cave
Love, roaring, makes it's way back into the candle
that stands outside the door
of a stranger hiding yet another world
in his eyes, alive.
A draft I found from 14 year old me
falls down onto the sea
old dreamers walk by the woods
in search of home
a slow surrender
a giving in, a pleasure
that numbs too much
in search of me
summon me down to my knees
to consume you bit by bit
at the price of your moans
finally calls me close
I began as piercing blue light that heals
****** wounds and scars
from this human life
I have been touched by a man
immaculate his spirit
his eyes a mirror that hold
I am rock
sedimentary through eras in time
crumbling into stardust
screaming as I reach
the farthest corners of space
I am the eye of the universe
a void that reaches back into the
I feel a fever in my chest
warm and persistent
I long to meet you
and turn into vapour in the
heat of your
old creaky doors unsure
whether to stay shut or stay put
wet flowers in the backyard
mean kids running
in childhood streets
between mother and daughter
between husband and wife
all good things
make you wait
in this lilac house
Come sit next to me
and don't speak a word
I will find in your flaws
something to treasure
and caress your unruly hair
when you're miles deep in sleep
I lay in my bed in a room echoing with the sound of your voice, wet and blue like a september evening.
I fall into river
the water is wet, I'm begging
for it to make me feel
the way we do when we're together
I fall into sky
unafraid I fall, I'm singing
a soft birdsong
with familiar tickles in my tummy
This is nowhere close
to you and me
I fall into silence
at the end of day
stunned in gratitude.
His eyes are blue even
though they're as black as
a rainy night
I look at him and feel the rot inside my chest,
the imperfections of my habits
I lie bare before him
and he watches with care
you are the moon of my night
My colors are changing into ugly shades of pink
and the nausea is kicking in but wait
hold on, stay right there it'll get
better? worse? what am I dragging you in this for?
Exit please. Oh yes, the
colors they change when the sky dampens
late after lunch too soon after dinner
while I belch my mother walks by
as she tells me to pull my **** together, oh
the good old days haven't gone past me just yet
I sometimes think of my father
and how I should try loving him for
smiling at me and calling my mother a *****
while I tried hard to sleep
Sometimes I think I love my mother way too much
so much that I try to socialize and then I
somehow realize that was an ouch idea
Pessimism is more honest because the optimist
is lying to everyone.
Clench your fists against my
ask me for what I want
more so, for what I need
and deny me my release
watch me enlightened
in all my glory
and watch me still.
Why don't you rid yourself of these shiny
and sit back without ignoring for once
the blue light you bleed upon the sun
Why don't you want to be more of nothing
and less of you?
You smile like you do not want to be hurt
you are afraid of not being responsible
to the children
who you pretend to garner
and guide, knowingly,
pretentiously into a world
you have woven
with such subtle doubt
You cry yourself to bed
after you put your only daughter to sleep
and look into the black night ahead
with silver moons under your eyes
tired and dreaming of love
You watch a film and smile a sober smile
then walk slowly to clean up after
and stare a stolen gaze
like your eyes are not yours and your
reflection isn't yours to stare
at the glass to the right of your misery, somewhere
numb to your touch
the arrested state of your being
somewhere up in the september clouds
just above your home sweet home
call me at the midnight hour by the rainy window
we will watch the blue stars come alive
into the late december sea
to the stars
forgive me for falling back into the black
but I am looking up at you and asking you to come back into me
tear open my flesh and let me rise up
like ether into your ambient neighbourhood
make me forget
**** me and once more I shall be born
and this time I will remain beautiful
and at peace
all this contaminates me
all these efforts, the struggle to keep up
with the good and the right
you pull me close
you're making me cry my eyes say to you
a warm hug, eyes
the scent of purity fills us
inside the blanket two hearts beat
stars gaze out of your eyes
and I begin to kiss you
you lift me in your arms
making me feel like I am a
fragile little rose.
learning to find love in
your silence will teach me
everything I need
in order to live.
A time will come when I'm barren inside.
Every sound would remind me that I am hopeful
I am rain, hoping for shelter
I am the running breeze. Screaming, unabashed.
I would confess all those ugly truths,
about living and loving and forgetting
and be fearless, senseless.
just for the sake of being
The gloom feeds upon me
the sky, moaning, unafraid,
a slow moon rises
and disappears before it rains
the breeze, inviting me into the woods
what do we have, to lose
It cannot be silenced
this throbbing hunger, as it burns mildly
a yellow flame against the silhouettes of now
They know what this madness is
this hunger that I talk of, this fire that keeps bustling
the stars are watching me
as I look back up
and they know
and out of all the things I chose to remember
the way she tries not to smile
when my eyes flutter close as I breathe the smell of
her body and
how she writhes faultlessly like
the sun upon seawater
with subtlety her voice it blooms
inside my chest
Her lips stayed quiet most of the time.
She reminded me of mellow white flowers I remember
how I wanted to stay by her feet when I felt low
her toes, pearls of deep blue waters I thought I remember
shone within her black eyes forever aglow.
Oh, my dear
When I lay on the bed the way I do
I search for you
Your soul seduces me
your voice, your unwavering stare
Oh, my dear
how you make me sigh
there's so much on your mind but you say nothing
Just sit there
and I shall dance
of this innocent gloom
of the lanterns silently gazing at the open field, wet,
as the slow evening whispers, sighs
waiting for the sky to fall back into the sea
I'm sitting here
on the wet wooden stairway
and thinking of you
the night is falling onto me
and my eyes stare at the descending blackness
that first frost touches my eyelash
and I shut them close,
collapse back into the
womb of death
and I have nothing
You hum a song inside of me
Just before the break of dawn
Spilling amber rays onto the morning water.
You light a bonfire in the middle of my chest
where legends melt into nothingness
where time bends and makes way, like the wood writhing in fire
In the steam that rises, you become one
with the teller of tales, the heat of my desire,
the ticking clock, the withering mud
Until again the fire dies
and the daylight settles down like dust.
You walk into this valley wet in fog
And ****** the life out of my body
I recognize you, the scent of your soul
The way your eyes look pleasingly at mine
Like a nightingale singing for her lover
Walking him into an eternity
where the tall blue mountains sleep.
Buried under your eyes is an endless winter.
Your ambiguity is drowning
Your faith is shivering but I'm holding you
I'm not too warm myself.
I'll manage to get you safe into my house
You like fire, don't you?
We can sit by the chimney.
When I get this close to your face, everything else falls apart.
Maybe in the next few minutes, you'd understand
just how much I've waited for you.
I still remember the sound of that stillness
Gentle, careful like a lullaby
caressing the dust rising and falling on my skin
The warm sky sang her broken songs
blew her ***** May winds through the village
ever so passionately
The sun shone dark by the dying river
he wept silently his purple evening tears
into the narrow streams underneath
The fragrance of that temple, hard to forget,
Hard to leave behind anything but pondering footsteps..
Yet I walked
into the womb of that scent
forgetting my age old fears
of facing the friction of time,
of dreams, of hope,
I collapsed onto the bare earth before I entered
and stared at the air uncouthly
like a barbarian
Moaning, singing, breathing in ecstasy
that old familiar temple fragrance
The night is gentle
upon your lips
shimmer your gleam
onto the grace of my hips
in your twilight
the way I see you looking into my eyes
as I hold you tight
makes me eternal
the stairs wet
would you let
the winter enter
would you let her
swallow the floor
underneath your toes
collapsing into her heart
would you meet her there
waiting in the womb of silence
I could just sit here wounded,
do nothing but stare at all your colours
closing my eyes, tracing your face
with cold palms, I could just be
How ever you want me to, I can be
Without wanting anything back,
without taking anything but your blood
into my veins,
And it's okay my love, let the door be
Let the rain pour
We have this night and you have all of me.
Here I am lying against this pillow again
As the moon's haunting the starless sky
at the same hour of dusk
As a trembling secret writhes under the mud
Growing into my roots screaming through my leaves
Moaning like moontides on a full moon night
And here I am lying down staring
at the sleepy shadows walking away slowly on this ceiling
Behind me, a window to eternal space.
Don't you see?
Beyond this working and moving
a star trembles in the dark
You speak to me
and all I seem to see
is the grace with which your voice
mixes with the breeze.
Measurement I do not understand
Dimension I am
Language suffocates me
I am the air that chokes my throat.
Nothing is as graceless as a poet.
I sink and float, sink and float like a boat lost in the sea
looking at just your eyes
I don't know what's ahead, how much deeper beneath
I forget that I can look back, I forget directions
I sink and float, sink and float like a boat lost in the sea
nameless, streetless, shapeless.
My only name, your heartbeat
My only identity, you.
He is a delicateness
a tender beautiful mess
He is the softness of
the papers of an old book
He is that forgotten wetness
of shy kissed lips
He is that sudden leap in her heart
when she smells rain
He is all those tiny things
unseen and untouched
Believe me he is
all that I have touched and cherished.
He is the emptiness
of a broken summer's moon.
Believe me he is.
What does it mean to be beautiful,
To be alone in the most beautiful way
To sink into the solitude with such grace
A candle flame flickers that way
Speechless a burning orange fire
Restless to become one with the darkness around.
Clothes wet and washed down the rocks
Lost somewhere in the running black water
What does it mean to be beauty itself,
To be naked like the night
Lost and meditating in desire
Craving quietly for his holy touch
Tell me what it means
to be beauty itself,
to be naked like the night
and still get him to stare
at only the moon that you hold in your eyes.
'Black is beautiful.' Is there a greater beauty than being vacuum? Endless Space.
They hear the thick ripples pouring gently over the rocks.
A muddy path silently walks into the heart of the forest.
Just him and her,
the wild and the delicate,
and the voices of the night hiding unseen among the branches.
The sun is going to set.
This evening too, it will settle on the sea
Like a wise old man, walking back home
with crinkled eyes that have seen so much.
The wet mud is their bed.
He held her palm against the cold ground,
his fingers into the wetness.
Her eyes fluttered open for a moment
She saw a quiet amber sun sailing on the infinite sea.
The water will devour all the daylight she thought.
How much more could she be lost?
Tiny silver stars peep out
The sky is a shade of naked blue
The sound of the water grew nearer,
and she held him so tight.
And when he'd get her eyes wet,
he'd just hug her closer to his chest
But he never stopped, because
everything is suddenly more beautiful,
and they always kept wanting more.
It's early morning when he opens those gorgeous eyes,
Black and beautiful, precious and shying away
Early birds twitter, early lovers kiss
With faded early moons in their eyes
Burning, their thirsty lips, pale their fingertips
Coyly around his neck her wrist
and The forest breeze has woken up
Wailing like an infant, softly into the air
Who said love is a quiet bud in the bloom?
It's a wolf screaming with desire
And gratitude and coldness
It's that cave somewhere deep into the woods
Which you'll find,
and wonder how you've ended up there.
Scraped till bled, alive after they have her dead
To be left alone, she dreams of silence
At the foot of the lunatic's hill
With the mangy beasts of the wild
Which won't let you live they tell her.
They tell her their many many stories
With conclusions and morals
As she looks up at the ravens in the sky.
'Leave me where the air smells of rain, with silence hung in the air.
Leave me there and forget I exist.'
Bold strokes a shy paintbrush makes
A flawless stroke of golden brown - her hips
Heart beats faster the artist breathes
Heavy and breathless and stolen
Brave hands it takes
To paint her bare sandglass waist
The woman who made him realize
that he has a heart
and that it beats only when he thinks of her.
The piano sings into the night
like a nightingale upon a lonely branch.
Underneath, the lake glistens.
Every streak of soft blue, sailing gently
to touch the moon on the satin water.
Stillness, and a bird's cry, the rest of the night.
The bird has died but the feathers wander on.
It sparkles unknowingly
Gleams like glowworms above a silent sea
On a monsoon December midnight.
It sheds slowly it's skin
Reveals two angelic wings to the midnight
It sparkles unknowingly,
my soul intertwined in yours.
Let go of yourself.
Feel the free flow,
the free fall,
fearless like a feather
You are the artist
of your own destiny
The sculptor of your own beauty.
Let go of yourself
not with the wind,
because you are the wind itself
Let go of everything,
Each color, a new dimension.
Each second, a new experience.
In the grace of your undying presence
Voices, all those scattered voices in me unite
In the light of your abducting black eyes
My bleeding heart begins to write.
It is your beautiful restlessness
That tears me down and builds me up
It is you and your silence
That flows in me.
In the heat of your blazing soul
My veins have hardened into steel arrows
Which caress my heart to and fro
Until it wails like a haunting violin.
The cinematography, the imagery,
Those slow takes as the rain falls over the window
Behind which a girl rests her head
Looking out with dreamy eyes
Eyes, holding watery stories of a beautiful past
The door slams shut and
Out she comes
With winged feet and summer skin
Living in her head, she walks down by
Looks up above and smiles at the sky
She closes her eyes and the camera it shoots
How the sunshine falls on her eyelashes
Down, a perfect zoom in
Onto her lips hazed with tiny particles of light air
He blindfolds her eyes
Walks her gently all the way
The coldness increases and the noise reduces
He takes his hands off her eyes
And up she stares
with lips apart and stunned feet
At the gazillion stars chilled and silver
Against a black night
covering her up from behind
with warm hands.
The rest of the night.
Winter is the coldness of black marbles
Two beautiful black gems,
Summer is the press of your warm lips
Like evening rose petals
Moist with drops of dew.
This dawn, the buds covered in dew
From them a new love will bloom
Compassionate like a helpless infant
Smiling for a reason beyond cause.
This dawn, as you hold me closer
From us will radiate a new star
Shooting across the imperial darkness
The moon kisses the sky and dusk falls.
Drift off to sleep my dear
The moon and the stars are here
I hold your hands clenched tight
Ours is this radiant midnight.
I embrace the ocean in your eyes
Running my fingers through your hair
You hear the soft flowing waves?
See the distant glimmering ocean
Look up into my starlit eyes
You smile and then I smile
Drift off to sleep my dear
While you hold me and explore my eyes.
Last night his eyes asked me
How it feels in here, inside me
I bit my lip, how do I answer,
The same way he has asked?
Sending silent waves through
Light scares me away
So I rest in his custody all day
While his palms lightly cover
my eyes as he closes his
Maybe that is why
Even orange days seem like blue nights
And when the true night falls,
Even the early dusk is a cold black midnight.
I've never felt cold when he holds me.
His shoulder wet with my tears,
My heart painted with his warmth.
Deserted we stand,
Somewhere on an isolated land,
Foggy breaths and frosty eye lashes
We beat as one
Here there is none but
These tall trunks with snow tops
Vines dripping venomous nectar
We do drink, after we think
Thought after thought,
Sighs and flawless silence,
Oh my dear Life,
Your breeze serenades me
With sighs and flawless silence.
But let me tell you one more thing
Something we both already know
When the night's curtains are unveiled,
And the stars gently fall over the darkness
We lie down in the radiant midnight waters
At a distance, the jungle starts
And journeys into evergreen passion
At a distance, the jungle starts
And never ends.
Take my hand onto your sun-kissed palm
Let us flee, the sunshine so warm
Your beautiful black eyes under the sun
Holding oceans of orange morning light
In you, I spend myself
Reincarnated every first second of daybreak
Like the sun rising up the horizon
Glory locked between your fingers and mine
As the moonlight shyly falls onto us
The night steals the morning light
And when I look into your eyes this moment
I still see the golden sunshine.
For Sir Pradip. :)