the realization comes
my eyes are opened wide
i hear the constant drums
and lose my heart to the impending tide--
the moon pulls me
the sun shuns my heart
no one can really see
that I'm truly falling apart.

i cling to dry ground when i can
but the pull is calling
and slowly the sea takes over the land
as i drift out helplessly
my body afloat
my mind undone; taken by the sea
just let me float away
(no use in saving me)
i won't see another day
now that i'm floating free...

I so often wish I could find a cottage garden home
and hang just the right curtains,
plant beautiful flowers
take leisurely hot, steaming baths and showers
never again leave to go work in the grind
of dealing with customers
who have seemingly lost their minds...
just give me a cottage garden home
a few books to read
where my mind can roam
and allow me the quietness and solitude
just some peace and quiet -- shhh!!!
no, I'm not trying to be rude--
it's just that all day long I hear grumbling
I hear complaints galore
and my job is such that I can't ignore
the craziness of the public tis all too true--
so I really do NEED that garden cottage home
to escape and run away to...

"Want to know a secret
Just between you and I?
I am not really living my life
just patiently waiting to die..."*
But I never got an answer
when I sincerely asked her, "Why?"
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