I'm broken inside
Even I know you're by my side
I'm still loving you
And its true

I want to forget
The pain you gave, I regret
I might be not the better
But I'm always here for you forever.

- SS

My mom used to grind tomatoes every October
for canning with this metal monster that kept it's mouth
clenched on the edge of our kitchen table
for weeks at a time. I used to climb up the stools
just to barely crank the tail around and around,
watching the vegetable guts spill into a cauldron.

She would give me a mini Krackle bar
if I could count all of the jars to at least ten,
their gold rims like little crowns that she would carefully
twist over their heads, the reflection from the setting sun
bouncing off my Kindergarten cheeks. My dad,
pretending to be a cartoon character behind her back
as I covered my mouth in secret laughter. I can't prove it,
but I bet she smiled as she rolled her eyes, pretending
not to be totally in love with a forty year old man
who's heart was as young as his daughter. Now,

she can't even stir Campbell's soup without crying.
The sound of the crank is only like the sound of the car
as they tore apart it's skeleton just to find my dad's baseball cap
stuck in the glass of the windshield. So instead,
now ten years later, I tuck pictures in places
I know she won't look, say prayers when she's gone to sleep,

and pull the curtain over the jars
of the homemade spaghetti sauce in the cellar.

Do you ever get the feeling
That you are somewhere else
As you go through your day
You don't remember your name
And someone else must remind you
Who you are?

Do you ever get the feeling
That your skin is two feet thick
You're not experiencing life,
You're just a witness to it
As you pass through the walls
Invisible?

Do you ever get the feeling
Where your insides are jittering
A thousand miles an hour, jarring
Your soul and threatening to
Collapse and become a
black hole?

Do you ever get the feeling
That everything is so fleeting
That life is so short and everything
Has a certain pointlessness to it
And you feel lost and dull and
Want it to end?

Do you ever get the feeling
That although you are surrounded
There is no one who will
Take the time to understand,
Who will have the willingness
To open up and ask in a broken voice,

"Do you ever get the feeling?"

It is security they crave, not heading what I say,
I am but just a wave, I only have one way.
I'll pull you in, I'll push you away,
they watch  me leave, they wish I would stay
They think I'm clear, clean and oh so serene,
but then they feel my roughness and eventually call me mean.
I can drown you, push you to shore or help you escape
You can use me for energy, or to wipe off your own ***** slate
But just know I can also be dark more than I can be light
And my bite will leave a mark that can easily instill fright
So be careful for although I can save,
I can be very destructive.
After all, I am just a wave.

High breed they've said
They just don't know how often we've prayed
Our knee was so severely wounded
Pleading Him to erase this delusions' that we've been bounded

Lunatic! They've always called us
Pushing ourselves to wished to be among with the  dust
The crazies' they've said making fun of us
Now we don't know whom do we trust

We tried to live in a masks
But to no avail still our head been crashed
Now' we live in a cage like an animal
Away from home' near to suicidal

High breed they've said again
Instead of helping they don't want us to  begin
We are like a child being bullied
Their thumping words trained us to be stupid

Though some giving us good words' for our hearts be encourage
But don't make any difference now' we are very deeply engaged
Lunatic' crazy' high breed' why just broke our hearts?
If you can please! just tear our body and soul apart...


written: August 19, 2014 - 7:30 am

mysterious aries