I may see yellow,
Where you see red
Am I less than you?
Are you alive
Whilst I'm dead?
My thruth is my own,
As is yours
We all see it differently
When we look through other doors
Truth can never Be singular
We all see as we will
Would you lay it upon me
To pay your truths Bill?
While the sky moves for you
Perhaps for me, it's still
And maybe my "never land"
For you, is real

I hang on his every word
Like a wriggling worm From the beak of lovely bird

He's the safe I'll never crack
The elusive dancer covered in black

He terrifies and confounds me
And I don't even think he see's

He is the closed book that I can never open
All the words I wish to say but can't be spoken

He's the poem, that I can never write
For me, he's the moon glowing at night

My closed book, who's stories I'll never know
Because I'm the desert, and he's the snow

Bright yellow, sweet smelling flowers
Surrounded by leaveless trees under grey winter skies
I want to cut them, keep them for my own
Dazzle my eyes and my eyes alone
With their brightness
Their yellow colour of hope
Hope that spring will come again
That leaves will sprout green and whisper secrets with the breezes
Too cold even for the grass to be green
But the daffodils, burst forth baring the colour of the sun
Promising hope.....

Would that I may,
I'd wear you
Wrap myself in you,
Like the softness of silken sheets
The velvet of a winter sky,
Kisses of a heavy snow
Because you,
Look so good on me....

I slipped last night
On a moon beam,
Shining through the window glass
Onto my bedroom floor
And I fell into the night
With you
The stars chattered in Twinkles
At the two of us, laying on their velvet night sky
So beautiful, that the very shadow of the earth
Decided to join us, and the moon
For an eclipsing view
Of me and you

Write with me

I want to hurt you
Mark your skin
My territory
My personal sin

Lock me up
Put me away
I'll let you order me
Like room service, as you say

I want to inject you
Directly into my vein
My new drug
Beautiful pain

Be my straight jacket
Hold me down
Be the addiction
To which I'm bound

Please finish, Sir,

"You asked me to finish it
Dare I say, I cannot
I'd need you beside me,
Screaming when to stop

I'm not sure where I begin
Or when or if, you ever end
Time is but an icicle,
After reading what you send

So grab those silver bracelets
And lock me into place
You can throw away the key
So long as I see your face

I'd crush the states between us
Set fire to all the land
If it meant bringing you closer
To my trembling, Cold hands

Warm me up?
Not a question
But my demand"

And thus, I quiver
Far beyond shake
Just the thought of your skin
Causes the earth to quake

Cold hands?
Please, let me heat them up
And when I'm filled with you
Over fill my "cup"

Spill yourself
Completely,
Deep inside
What's left of me

Do with me
As you please,
Because for you,
I'd stay on bent knees

My reality is fake
Stuff my mouth with bittersweet cake
Come here you, and take
All of me that's left
Pick me like crows
Because only God knows
You put out, my flames that glow
And I SCREAM!!!
In silence
At the violence
You bestowe
Upon me
And God knows
The godless heavens see
What you don't
Things that you won't
Make of me what you will
The empty sky will pay the bill

My soul is smashed
And I sold it in a back room
To the tune,
Of a generic remake of Johnny Cash
I choke, on the blood I bleed
From staying on my knees,
Sending God pleas
No heart, in me to beat
I should've kept the receipt
For the soul, I sold, in deceit
For spoken words, I've never had a use
Conversation abuse
So they deem me obtuse
I should wash my mouth out with soap
For the few words escaping my throat
Keeping my thoughts protected by a mental moat
And I'll continue to choke
On this blood I bleed
Staying on my knees
Sending God pleas
My soul, will never return
But I don't have to wait, for hell, to burn


Can you hear me SCREAM?

You, you broke me
Swallowed the sea
Lied to me
Can't you see
And you, You sin
You win
Drank the devils gin
Play your game again
You, youre gold
Shiny lies told
Beautiful origami fold
Love stories of old
And you, your great
200 dollar plate
My karmic fate
All that I love
And hate
And you, youre something
While I'm nothing
Sand
In your hand
Blown away....

I stay drunk these days
Drink it away
You
The pain
In vain
Never leaves
And I, I grieve
Can't get up
Out of bed
The words you said
Echo in my head
Diseased
At ease
And I, I can't
Just Please
My skin burns
My soul yearns
The years
These tears
And I, I die
I cry
Ask God why
He won't answer
And I, I'm just
A silly ballet dancer
You, youre the sky
The sun
And I, I'm done

Would you walk with me?
Just For a while
That "line" Mr. Cash
Brought into style
Will you keep the ends up
For the ties that bind?
For me,
Will you walk the "the line"?
For you,
I keep my eyes wide open
All the time
But for me,
Would you walk,"The Line"?
Is it easy
For your heart to be true?
Because I walk,"The Line"
Just For you

So I've heard,
As of late
That those of importance
Are considered too great
To be called "crazy"
Money, buys "eccentric"
Well, heavens me, I was unaware
I thought money, paid the electric
I prefer crazy
That, Surely I am
Loony as they come
I bare no scam
The things I do
The things I think
I'm well aware
I'm on the brink
My funny hats
The bluntness I speak
Yep,
I've reached the peak
The pentacle
If you will
And I care not,
Who foots the bill
I'll sing, dance
And loudly cry
I'll change moods in a snap
Not give a **** why
I'm not crazy
Just eccentric
And **** all your money
That pays the electric

I'm jealous
Of that tee shirt
The way it so carelessly lays
Against his ink covered skin
I wish I were that
Tee shirt

And this,
Is of all and anything...

Little girls wear too much makeup
Pre-teens, children
Everyone shaves or waxes their genitals
**** and **** "jobs"
Are commonalities
The fridge repair man came today
Cash, or *******?
I'm not sure,
***** stamped,
on makeup
My five year old worries about her hair,
Style and colour
She asks questions
I can't answer
My therapist
Charges too much,
Feeling too much
Six figure income,
And paying only less,
Than five dollars a day,
In child support
Husbands, locking up wives
And getting by,
Mothers, stripping
To make ends meet
No judgement here
Not that I could,
Nor, that I ever would
Thinking about,
In trash cans
Where real souls dwell
Infections of the uninsured,
All's well
I swear.....
This is
Of ALL and EVERYTHING.

We two, ignorantly speaking
Of how fate and time brought us together
Whispering of words like eternity
And forever
Until the smell took over
Forcing us to see what fate really gave
We were merely two corpses thrown together
To save space in this mass grave

There's a woman, in the basement, still
Her screams, they wake me at night
She eternally beats on the walls
Yet, no freedom, none in her sight
33 days, kept in the damp,
The dark
Those 33 days of night,
Have forever left their mark
Her finger nails gone,
From scratching at concrete
I hear her praying
To the creator, she wishes to meet
Her voice loud, though hoarse and cracked
Ringing forever in my ears
And somehow, I know I'll hear her screams
Every night and day, All the rest of my years

On her bed, she lay so still,
Listening to the singing,
Of the whippoorwill
I took her hand,
Put it in mine
Combed her dark hair,
So long and fine
Then I dried,
Deaths sweat, from her brow
Knowing she didn't have,
Too much longer now
She opened her eyes,
Gave me a smile
She said,"Dear friend,
I'll see you,
In a little while."
The tears in my eyes,
Oh, how they stung
And on, and on,
The whippoorwill sung.....

Well hell,
Its nearly that day again
Ain't it swell?
All the pretend happy couples
Holding hands and lying to one another
Spending ridiculous amounts of money on candy in fancy boxes
Diabetes wraped beautifully,
Fat *** at no extra charge
Ah and the flowers,
That will sit in a vase and die in four days tops
Then be thrown in trash
And all the given faux or real jewelry
Shiny ****, to deflect from the dullness of the lies spread about like fertilizer, manure
Stinking, much in the same way

Happy Valentine's Day

No one told me,
Death, was a she
She stopped by my house,
We had tea
She spread her black wings
In my sitting room,
She was beautiful
But smelled of doom,
I called her a *****,
She said to me,
"Sorry, my dear,
I'm necessity."

Were we ever
Anything more than slurred
Words,
Whispered through liquor stained lips
Were we merely the
Frost,
That formed by night
On the window glass
Only to melt away
With the rising sun
A passing
notion,
In an ocean of thoughts
Washed away,
With the tide
Were we only a
Dream,
A product of a drug induced sleep?

Were We?

So I tried to share,
Something beautiful
With even my mother
She's a zombie
Like the rest
Memes,
Few words at a time,
At her best
What will happen?
When we're all illiterate?
When poetry is gone
I believe,
That'll be it
No more humanity,
No more beauty
And that's all I have to say of that.......

Teeth, and gums
A beat
Drums
Biting,
Tearing of flesh
Pain,
With "LOVE"
Ameshed,
Bleeding hearts
Pieces,
And parts

I was never a rose,
But green
Not a chrysanthemum,
Nor an orchid
Something cut,
Walked upon
And yet,
You were the dew
And kissed me,
With a thousand moist kisses
Everynight,
Making me sparkle
In the sunrise

We're we ever,
But grains
Of sand,
Salt
More,
Less, us
We? But ideas
Of tomorrow's
Simple,
MAYBE?

I was making dinner
Just the other night
My little girl, my all
My WORLD
Asked me,"Momma, am I ugly?"
I stopped,
Dead in my tracks
****, grilled onions and peppers
To hell with fried okra
Let them burn in butter
I say,"What on earth, would make you think such a thing?"
She,
My Stella, my all,
Replies," My friend, said I am ugly.
She said my scars are funny."
My heart, STOPPED
What does a mother say?
I was at a loss,
My face, drained of blood
Ugly?
My Stella?
She was sick,
At birth
Yes, she has her scars,
Yes, she's abnormally small
But I think,
She's the most beautiful
Of ALL,
I knelt,
Got on my knees
I looked in her beautiful,
Sky coloured eyes
And I said,
"Stella, you, are beautiful.
In all my life, never, have I seen a more beautiful little girl. Your scars, well, those are Gods love marks. Like lipstick kisses. And they make you special."

I'm afraid common sense,
Sadly, has died
Invitations were sent,
But very few replied
It was even announced,
In the papers, on the news
I guess everyone was too busy,
With Donald Trump interviews
Mysterious, I think
That the day of the inauguration,
Common sense met,
Its final destination

People, they don't wish to see, or hear
Reality
They like only what they see, that is pleasant,
Their reality,
Consists only of *******
Parties, skin,
Thats it
Skin, and bone
No more,
No less
Silly creatures
Feeling nothing,
Seeing
Even
Less,
Yep,
Thats people

Heaven help us all,
And GOD bless

I don't belong,
In this "modern age"
Mom said,"Mandy,
You need a face book page"
I had one, once that I abandoned
I must've forgotten why
It didn't take me long,
To remember, it's all a lie
I prefer the woods,
You can't "filter" the view of an evergreen
No downloads in nature,
Just life, real and clean
The sound of squirrels at play,
The smell of rotten leaves
Watching the breaking of day,
No cleavage shown
Not a ***** in site,
Unless the deer are in rut
Then you just might
No "look at me's"
No "See what I've got"
Social media, I believe,
Causes brain rot
If I'm not in the woods,
My nose is in a book
Give me pretty words,
Then I'll take a second look
I already "friended",
Pen and page
I've nary a need,
For a "fake book" page
I like the dirt,
Things that grow
When it's winter,
I like the snow
I say,"Mom, I have an account,
On a poetry site,
Where people read poems
And all of us write.
Our words and dreams,
Thats what we share
And instead of our possessions or skin,
Its our stories, we bare."
Yea, I think it's safe to say
I don't care for this modern age,
And I've nary a single reason
For "fake book" page

She counted time not,
In hours or even days
But in stollen moments
Glances, caught
From loving eyes
Graceful touches,
Deemed "sins"
The wife of a beast,
Daughter of a merchant
She, the sold wares
Counting not, the hours of absense
But time gauged in wishes,
Her scarlet letter, blackened
Worn over her breast
Scars hidden,
Beneath fine clothes
She wears the jewels given her,
To blind onlookers
To the cloaking darkness,
That covers her soul

I watch the sun dance,
Everyday that it cares to shine,
On the lake
Every time the wind bothers to blow a kiss to the earth
That sun sways to dazzle
Though the sun, and the moon
Show off, and dance, for the water they both so love
The water always kisses the shore
And the uncaring land,
Cares no more, than to push the waving lips of the water
Away

You said to me,
" Wow, I think my heart beats an extra time when get I too excited."
I thought " Its because my heart beats in there too.
You are my heart disease,
As I've given my heart to you."

I saved a candle from my pity party
Just to burn your house down
Yep, crazy ***** here
Spread the word around
I sent you an invitation
I guess it got lost in the mail
There I sat with my cake and streamers
But you decided to bail
You called me a crazy *****
And you were so, very right
When I use this candle to burn down your house
The flames will be high, and bright
When you run out the door to escape the heat
I'll be there, without fail
Because unlike you, when I'm invited
I show, I Promise I won't bail
I sat at my party crying
At the fact that you didnt show
You dont bail on a crazy *****
Boy, didnt you know?
Black mascara running
My eyeliner, an awful mess
I paid far too much money,
For this satin party dress
Where the **** were you?
Laughing at me I guess
You called me a crazy *****
Do I agree? YES

No more than a violin string,
Always out of tune
Never, ever first string,
But second, number two
Tuner keys wound tighter,
Trying to make a sweet sound
But this second string won't have it,
Always too loose, and unwound
The hands that play the strings,
So capable, so deft
Adding string two,
To the others that he's left

She waits,
Her waiting started in summer
Honey suckle, started to grow around her ankles
Ivey, took root between her toes
Still, she waits
Fall,
Honeysuckle, Now bare
Ivey, ever growing
Trees, losing their leaves
She waits,
Winter,
Even as the frost climbs her bare legs
Snow, sticking to her eyelashes
Winter winds, blowing, freezing
Still, she waits
Spring,
Birds nesting, chirping in her long hair
Honeysuckle, flowers to her knees
Ivey, growing and green
She waits,
Hundreds of sunrises, and sunsets
Countless new, and full moons
Eyes upward,
Arms out stretched
Still, she waits
Again, summer
She is covered now,
A lady of green
Vines of honeysuckle,
And Ivey
Unrecognizable,
She waits.......

I spent the night with the man in the moon,
He smiled, and winked at me
I told him my secrets, blew him kisses,
Till he sank, in the milky way sea

I got carried away
By the last, orange, Autumn leaf
Away, with November
In a snow laden breeze
We both clung desperately
Me, to my roots, the leaf to its tree
But fate, had its plans
What will be, will be

She sat in the attic,
Playing with dolls made of plastic
Pretending, they were real,
Moms bruised up,
Dads drunk from his glass cup
And Pain, is all she can feel,
Her doll house is a perfect place
Doll mom doesn't cry, no bruises on her plastic face,
And doll dad doesn't hit plastic mother
Plastic baby never cries,
Fake mom sings lullabys
And the little girl is loved like no other,
There are no holes in the walls
The doll mom, doesn't lie about falls
And plastic dad is always sober,
But now dark is here
Bed time is near
And play time sadly, is over

I'm sorry,
I don't know how, to make amends
I'm far too sensitive, see too much
To have any "friends"
My mistakes,
Ingraved, in stone
I can never be forgiven,
Nor left alone
For these strange sins,
I cannot atone
Like the water,
That so loves the moon
Someone like me,
Can never dance in tune
Wierdo,
Beneath all others
I, am well aware,
But please, when I pass by
Could you kindly not stare
Do me this favor, just look away
As I'm well aware of my mistakes
And I know, I can never fit,
In this life of only "takes"

As surely as the sea,
Will forever kiss the sand
And the sun,
Chases the moon
Indefinitely,
As the mountains stand
I'll forever hold your memory,
Though never,
Your hand

I looked at her,
That girl, who had grown into,
A woman
Watched her, everyday
Black eyes,
Broken bones
Trying to smile through tears
She always said his heart was
Spanish moss,
Clinging, choking,
Till it kills
She always said that physical death,
Was nothing like the death of the heart
Its worse,
No funeral,
No stone to mark its passing
Just dead
Like the years of her past
Troubled death
I didn't feel sorry for her
There was nothing,
Like the endurance I'd watched,
Nothing
Her tears,
Nothing
She was,
Past
Nothing,
What she may have been
Washed down the bath tub sink,
Like soap suds

So you don't see your kids,
You have no job
Poor you,
You're a slob
Im a 90lb woman,
Call me snob
While I wait tables,
At two friggin jobs
I support my kid,
And I do it by myself
I don't call my momma,
For a ride to somewhere else
Sorry If I seem dismissive,
Or unsympathetic
But don't expect me,
To pity the pathetic
If you don't care,
Why should I?
Spending money,
On the pills you buy
Pity yourself,
Then ask,"Why"
You have no car,
No life, you don't try
Yea, I do understand,
It's addiction
So get some help,
Dont blame, for your affliction
If an idiot like me can do it,
You can do it too
Raise your own kids,
Get a job, you fool
Uneducated?
Yea, I was
But I got off my ***,
And I did it, "cuz"
I had nothing
No family, no friends
And I worked my **** off
For a means to an end
I grow so tired,
Of all the excuses
Some people give
To justify abuses,
I hear my baby cry
Every friggin day
For a dead beat dad
Who just walked away
Forgive me,
If I seem "uptight"
But wrong is wrong,
And right is still right
God help it, I know,
I'm no better than anyone else
But no one can help you,
Till you help yourself

Everyday, I wake,
Powder my face
To hide who I am,
Cover my disgrace
I line my eyes with black,
As a symbol of discontent
And the fact that I mourn,
For things not meant
Blush, on my cheeks,
Adding colour, my soul lacks
Make myself a lie,
Front and back
Put on pretty clothes,
To better fit in
So people don't see me,
Then know of my sins
Every day,
With the same routine
Living my lie,
Not seeing what I've seen
Everyone else,
Seeming just fine
Able to leave,
The past behind
Not me,
I want to be like "The Drones"
Feeling nothing,
Just a bag of bones

We pick up words, and love them
Pennies from a wishing fountain, picked up by hobos
Crafted into beauty, like a sun set on a summer day
Words bleed, You know
They leak feelings,
Dripping love, hate, anger
All things real,
Yet not real at all
"Unreality",
Dreams, hopes, fears
Crafted from discarded thoughts,
Discarded people
Loved by the "no ones"
By crafters of the unseen
Only felt,
read
Misunderstood by the masses
Understood by the few who see
Crafters of the unseen
Ringing the feelings out of words,
Like water, out of a rag
Seeing things, unseen

Until the sky falls
When we are swallowed by the sea
Until the mountains crumble
And Kingdoms are just debree
When blood pours from Heaven
Until the sun fails to light our days
I'll Love you until then
Simply put, Always

Sit on the shelf
Smile and bat your eyes
Open up wide
So they can better feed you lies
Be sure you're dressed pretty
Not a hair out of place
Put on your eyeliner
Powder your face
Pretend you don't hear them whisper
Things they say as you pass by
And NEVER, EVER
Let them see you cry

Ive licked sin straight from your lips
Tasted your forbidden fruit
****** the lies dry within you
Drained you of your truth
Looked at you right in the eye
As you writhe naked on the floor
And the evil that dwells inside me
Can only whisper "more"

Kissed by the wendigo
Driven insane
Stalking death
For release from the pain
Waiting in darkness
For killers of the night
Yet even the moon
Hides from my sight
Scratching at tombstones
Of those long gone
Begging passage
To where I belong
Skin gone grey
Heart, lacking a beat
The wendigo's kiss
Left me in defeat
How I still love it
That wendigo, its pain
Kissed by the wendigo
Driven insane

What does your heart cost?
Can it be bought?
Not with money
That's a silly thought
A million kisses,
Maybe two
Gentle carresses
And "I Love You's"
Late night laughter,
Secrets whispered and kept
Promises of smiles
No tears to be wept
"How was your day?"
Asked with care
The complete reasurance
That I'll always be there
What does your heart cost?
I'll pay any price
Just to hold your heart
And see love in your eyes