You close all your doors on me
And leave windows slightly opened
So I try to see what's inside
But you turned off all the lights

I gather up all the courage
As I take the steps to your front door
I knock and ask, "Is anybody in?"
And you say, "Don't bother anymore."

a.g

She walks into school
      and it starts again
           the shaking,
               it rips through her like a wave
She hears the sound of the voices
      in the hallway
         yet she cant make out what they're saying
She thinks all eyes are on her,
     everything is just one big blur
She hears laughter and
     she automatically thinks its
        directed at her
She waits in the bathroom
     like she does every morning
        for the halls to be clear
She walks out
     and wipes away her tears

my mouth tastes like pennies and your hand is too warm on my thigh under your parents table and i wish you would move it and i know the way you squeeze softly would be attractive to other girls but i am not other girls

i used to read books out loud to you and when i stumbled over words you would stroke my hair and i don’t think you even heard a word i was saying

you say you love math because there is no uncertainty and i think about how i am never a fixed point and i wonder if this is why you’re not always there when i wake up

you tell me you know me better than myself

my face feels too tight and flushed and i am not a crier but i wish i was now

you like to control me and i like to control me and i feel guilty for this

her lips look very soft on your cheek and it’s been a few months but i remember you never let me kiss you in public. she has bigger eyes than me and i still think about you

there are 2 bottles of sleeping pills and my favorite knife and a pack of cigarettes under my bed and i kissed a boy whose name i don’t know last weekend and it felt good

i haven’t cried myself to sleep in three weeks

your hand is too high up on my leg and i want to go home

i never have liked uppercase i's
i know it's absolutely stupid
but they always make me feel more important than others
like i'm always saying I, I, I.

see even that was weird
way too many eyes
so i spend half my days, proofreading my lines
to make sure that i'm exactly the same size
as everyone else

when i first met you it absolutely blew me away
to find someone else who lowers their eyes
i'm serious, it's amazing to find someone who wastes as much time as yourself
hitting backspace, and
cursing auto-correct for not allowing this behavior

but after a while i noticed you stopped with the i's
maybe it was around the time **** got weird
maybe it was a fad; or i have some absurd superstition
but it's cool
You always were the bigger person, anyway.

i can't fathom into words
how your skin caresses your face
so vibrant the yellow pools
so pink the plums i kiss
so small a rosemary nose
so dark the brows like mine
so white the teeth you lick
a freckles here, a freckle there, splattered
across the rooms of your face
grazing to and fro, running like fire
my finger goes, burning at every corner, yet
blistered and bruised, i still want more

the arms of an army hold a being
with so many emotions; fright, joy, sorrow.
tranquility, serenity, horror
you are the adjectives in my work
you are the dew on a sunny morning
or the foggy most late at night
you are clock's tick and a beetles hum
you speak of wisdom as if you were a-hundred and three
you speak of torture as if your bones were caged in
you tell me that i am a lovely being, but
not the one that makes you sing

cole 3/19/14

It's impossible to know a person
Really, truly know them
Until you have a conversation at 2AM
Right before you fall asleep
The most human you can be,
There's no wrong or right
Just words filling the silence
Let me see your insecurities,
Your dreams,
Tell me things about you
That I wouldn't know
Remind me I'm not the only person
With problems and that
No one's exempt from suffering
I want to hear it all
Your heart and mind
There's no better time
For a lobotomy
No better time
To not be alone
I'm glad we got to philosophize
Because you don't really, truly
Know someone
Until you converse at 2AM
And it was a pleasure to meet
2AM you

He says , "I love you babe."
He falls asleep next to the other girl,
and he tells me everything is okay.

This is turning into a world
where everything is not okay,
and he is the only one still breathing.