crashing my car into your window
screaming when you cry
laughing when my head hits the glass
cracking my head open
splitting my sides and bruising my brain
losing my mind and going insane
i dont want to run around headless
screaming into the dark
your smile falls on him
im okay with this i cry in the back of the cop car
painting my nails red filling my body with dread

shocked is all they are
in fact they don’t understand
they believe i am not a bad kid but what do they know underneath my skin
between the fold of my brain
assumptions made about a young minded teen
warped by drugs,alcohol and ***
changes killing away the innocent
the brown eyes that used to glow now burn black
perhaps they think age is innocence
perhaps they think i’m still pure
poisoned by your surprise
leading to my demise

pills help me spot the differences in these pages
these days spill together like the paints i cannot use
my mind grays like the drawings where i went out of the lines
my mouth spills out the colors that i don’t dare to say

my lack of words makes up for a small thing you lack for me
i’m oddly enchanted by your world
just as you by my own

i’ll burn down your white picket fence
destroy your garden
crash your car
you want me to join your perfect little life,i hope it doesn’t go far
im a ******* disaster
a hurricane in nirvana
a ****** scene so close you can still hear her womanly screams
if you still believe this is the silver screen
i hope you see me in color ruining your favorite black and white scene

waiting to get better
my heart grows sore
without you i wonder,
do you still dance in the dark
the way we used to
the way you laid in my arms
do you miss me?
give me roses with all your thorns
i know i can’t compete
please don’t look through me the way you do
please see,i want to dance when i can see you
a maze of pain when light won’t stay
i wish you could hear me
but you shut me out
and do great with him
i used to be the one
now,i’m an after thought
give me a reason i should just leave
please just say you missed me
i just miss dancing in your arms

the way i admire your blue oceans
i now see you as a drought
my love you were never open
my head was full of doubt
you dread my exsistance
as i fill you with lead
perhaps you’d be better off
with no one instead