Clenched teeth.
My heart is beating fast and slow.
The love of my life,
His words,
Were not as beautiful.
And they were,
At the very best,
Un-welcomed in this heart of mine.
I itch for a pencil and a yellow book.
I itch for my tears to fall.
I want my heart to be taken out
I am not him
And I am not his
He is the fairytale
While he is the broken knight.
I am neither and
All I can say is my heart is closed.
As my anger towards only me
Start to consume my headspace.

As I hear the ever-trending song,
it's not my fault that I saw you with every word,
sung by Sheeran,
with his throaty voice.

I hear you with every beat,
I felt your warmth with every breath he took.
How is that ever so possible, when you were not he?

You saw me as perfect,
and I can't help but melt into your arms,
And I can't help but felt loved
by those ever doting arms,
and of course, those eyes.

Those sharp eyes,
I could never deem them as soft,
but that stare,
was the softest I ever seen.
My love,
I'll hold on till I couldn't,
till my hands bruised and purple,
till my breath hitch and wheeze.

I'll hold on till I simply cannot.
ye hear me?

I was wrong,
So wrong,
by instincts and hearing,
I was wrong,
I was so terribly wrong.
How could it have too far?
This lonely infatuation,
when I have one by my side.
I shall never think of you again,
lock you in the deepest realms of my heart,
For I am ashamed of the thought of you,
and it shall never happen again.
For that, I apologise.

you were a fairy tale really
from your heart till your eyes,
till the crinkle of your smile.

you loved hard without blinking an eye,
and you fell down to the hard ground,
hitting rock-bottom,
everytime.
but still,
you loved.
and you loved hard.

I thought I could be a fairytale as well.
I thought I could love till I was numb,
but I can't.
I'm not a fairy tale.
I do blink an eye when I loved,
and I never let myself hit rock-bottom.

So,
this is for you,
a tribute to you,
your bravery,
your generosity,
and your sense of recklessness.
You still have that crinkle of a smile,
you still have that sparkle in your eye,
and I loved that very thing about you,
But I guess,
you could say,
I wish I were you but I don't think I can ever carry the burden.
Ever, like you.

You were always strong,
and I always seemed strong.

You were always kind but firm,
but I was firmly soft.

You were always reckless but cautious,
but I was reckless without conscience.

I really wish I could take it the way you do,
but I'd settle to be your best friend instead,
the best friend of a seemingly forever lovestruck idiot,
and so ever proud.

And eventually, you will meet someone,
out of the hundreds of people you’ve met in your life.
She’s ordinary and does the same things like everyone.
She wakes up in the morning, fix herself a cup of coffee,
does household chores, work her way out through the day,
drinks wine, read thick novels, and sleeps soundly at night.
But she will turn your world upside down.

This seemingly ordinary human being who is like
any other human being suddenly starts to become
the only human being in your life.
And you start to ask questions.

Like, why her? Why now?
Why does your heart beats faster when
she’s around and slows down when she’s not?
Why do you dream of her? Why do you see a future with her?
Why is your mind filled with the image of her face,
her warm smile, the curves of her body,
the roundness of her *******, the thickness of her thighs?

Why is her laugh the most beautiful music you’ve ever heard?
Why do you feel wonderful and glad when she says your name?

Suddenly, everything just seems to lighten up.
You are entering uncharted territories and
it feels so good to get lost in some place
that isn’t just built for sleeping and dreaming,
isn’t just four-walled and filled with furniture.

Home, more than buildings, houses,
and four-walled rooms, can be a pair of arms
around your body, like a second skin on you,
a birthmark you can never get rid of,
a memory you will never forget.

My life is only mine,
But when I met you,
you claimed it as your own,
adding in some of your strife.

My life is only mine,
but when you crashed in,
you took what I thought was mine,
and replaced it with a plethora of sin.

My life is only mine,
but you're a selfish ******* who wants everything.

If you want to die slowly my friend
Love a person who doesn't love you back;
You treat her as if she's the first bloom rose
In her eyes you're nothing more than a potato sack.

You'll give her your notes before exams
Even if you don't have a copy for your own;
She's call her special friend right in front of you,
"Can we study together? I can't study alone."

You'll offer help when she looks swamped
As you're about to leave office for the day;
She'll smile and move the paper mountain to your desk
"Thanks! I was so worried I was gonna miss his b'day."

She'll mention how some guy is so awesome
When you're just about to express how you feel;
She'll be texting him about tomorrow's plans
As you're paying the "one way romantic" dinner bill.

There are many ways to **** yourself
I urge you to choose your way wisely;
Find something that'll end it fast
Loving such girls will **** you painfully slowly.