All representations of life and death cross
To create a duel meaning
Holding the farthest folds of time together
Seam to seam.

A contradiction to being
The reality to burn through my own
My mind welded tight to refuse it.

A hole finds its way to my center
Eat away at me, will you?
My knowing and my conformity.

Take together the farthest folds of my mind
Tie them
Seam to seam.

As life is said to be too short
I cannot speak my complaints
Fore I have only experienced a fragment of 16
Cut from the whole of what I am to be.

The flower in me buds and wilts
Exposing a vibrancy of colours
But one force takes the importance of all.

Light
To signify the moment of opening my eyes
The first birth of my existence.

The fade is subdued until the light reaches its end
The end beyond death
Where the white of the lily glows bright
Because life lives beyond the physical deterioration
Commonly accepted by reason.

To break these boundaries of understanding
I stand with one foot in each ground
The light in my left side
Signifying my birth
Rebirth and rebirth.

The life constantly recycles itself in me
Coming to the surface in a new skin each time
The lily means Easter
A new beginning

Before my first fragment of living
I came to my first renewal of being
Halfway across the world
A resurrection to the arms of who I now call my family.

This sunday of Jesus' Easter
Was taken to the use of my own
This sunday
I took my first breath
As Lily.

The light opened my being to life
A new life
With each came a new contradiction.

The petals that once were lain so gently on my skin
Fell away
Laced together with fine strings of me
My growth, my knowledge, my understanding.

A continuum of time
Slowly taking its destructive path
Finding its way to my center.

The right side of me
Which I have not forgotten since spoken of
So many existences ago
Takes footing in reality.
The happenings of death
Necessary to take its toll before birth
Rebirth and rebirth
Leads the light in me to falter
To take cover amongst the shadows.

But as a renewal of life blooms the bud once wilted
These deaths call strongly to me
The lily of life
Represents equally a devotion to the departed.

Fragments of my being were experienced in deprivation
Losing the light a lily so desperately depends on
Moments taken advantage of
Where the death digs deeper into me
It closes in on my center.

Repeatedly the light recedes far enough
My left side falls weak
I grow in dependence of what little left of me stands tall
My right sides firmly planted in the grounds of death.

Seemingly an end to all I have once known
The lily drops its last petal
I close my eyes.

My center is open
Exposed
And in me
...

A new light is revealed
A new bud is in bloom
A new being of me has been born
Reborn and reborn.

The white light radiates new strength
New knowledge
New understanding.

As I am raised to stand tall
To set my left foot down
To take footing in the light
But I find balance.

I realize that I cannot stand at all
Without the right foot planted firmly in death
In what has led me
To all that I am
And am to be.

My mind expanded beyond any reason once reached
Filled with contradiction
And a new lily's light.

Finally,
I am able to see the farthest folds of my mind
To find them tied tight once again
Seam to seam.

What does it really mean to betray someone?
What if the someone means something to you?

"Friends don't go behind friends' backs to talk about them"

But that simply isn't true.
Human nature of relationships is crossing lines and building walls.
These wounds can be healed.

A true friendship has its ups and downs.
A true understanding has flexible limits.

A true betrayal occurs without reason.

For the common good of others.
And the protection of what's right.
To push aside the hypocrisy.
And to sacrifice yourself.

This is what draws the line.
Separating the right and the wrong choice.
To see the outcome before the strike.
Thinking through each move you make.

Holding on until the end.
To not betray someone called friend.

Either I'm swept up in colors and light, running after day-to-day life
Or I'm curled into myself and crying without tears
Either way I can't give the words space, to breathe and grow on their own

So when I disappear, I'll let you imagine me whichever way you'd wish
See me happy, see me sad
Nevermind the truth
If you so much as spare a thought to me when I'm not writing, that is already more than I can ask

reading through the lines
desperately trying to find a meaning
a message
a long lost letter
a blip in the dead of night
you're looking where there is none
while the answer stares you dead in the face
yet your blindness is unconscious and overwhelming
your ignorance is involuntary and compulsory
open your eyes, little one
the outside world is more obvious than you think.

i feel warm and you'd think that'd be comforting,
but the heat makes me sweat and my stomach twists.
the tips of flames strike the edge of the paper,
as i hold it over the flame of a candle.
they darken and curl, retreating from the fire in pain.
ink fades and disintegrates from view.
i watch as my biography burns to ash.
i can't bring myself to shed a single tear.