All I want is a distraction
to slow the panic rising in my chest

why are all the poems I read
about love?

All the words I want to poetize have already been spun

the silence is deafening

your heart is like stone

what else am i to say?

i feel so
unoriginal

Dear no one, this is your love song*

I may not be the prettiest
or the smartest
or the most eloquent
or the most accomplished

and that's all

I just want someone
to hold my hand
guard my heart
keep me safe
and tear me apart

Rip open my heartstrings
scathe my whole mind
be in my heart
and turn me blind

I want a love that makes me whole
but rips me open to
the venerability of a life
where caution is through

We all go by the surname no one

There are so many of us!

So why are we all so alone?

Everyone thinks they can name me.

Hannah.

Daughter, sister, student.

Niece, neighbor, friend.

But my name, my name, hasn't been foretold
and never will
because my name
is Nobody.

What's yours?

It'll be hard for them to realize. I flatter myself in thinking that but I believe it is true.

Now they're free from the drama. Perhaps that breaking point was what I needed to realize that I'm doing them more hurt than harm.

They never asked to get involved with me, to let me drag them down, to make them think they did something wrong.

The only thing they ever did wrong was to let me in.

And I loved every sainted moment.

I just wish I had been strong enough to contribute to them like they contributed to me.

They're going to blame themselves. Loving them from afar, watching them grow, learn, and love from a distance will be one of the hardest things I've ever done.

But I wouldn't have hurt them like this if I didn't know
that they'd benefit massively.

.....goodbye.

They say we can sense
hearing
smell
sight
touch
sound
taste

but what about danger?
love?
fear?

we can sense that someone is creeping up behind us
and sense that something bad is about to happen
can sense the change in the pressure in the air
and the need of someone else for a hug or kind word.

to say we have only five
is underestimating

but to say we have infinite?
we understand but few...
and that is why we teach five.

Miss.
Us, you, my sanity.
Life, thoughts, reality.

My mind can create so many things
that I maybe shouldn't
but do

Miss
Your banter, her smiles, my laughter.
**Our talking, their acceptance, the love.

whispers can emanate from all over
angels on shoulder pads
devils on shoulder blades

but the whisper i'm hearing comes from below
whispers from my heart
telling me to start

hope can form in the murkiest places
and i believe that we
aren't quite finished yet.