Oh, it's so easy.
Just spread your wings, and fly!
I can't. You don't know how long I've tried.

Little Angel, don't be afraid.
It will all be okay in the end
I can't. I've given all I can lend.

Escape from your fears.
Face them like the big girl you are!*
I can't. I've gone near and far,

trying to be brave.
trying to escape.

I live in a world under the stars,
never knowing the message written in them.
Only seeing what I want to believe,
with all my hopes and dreams.

I used to brag about the fact that I couldn't swallow pills
even the little orange ones, half the size of my pinky nail, I couldn't do
But now I realize you can do anything if you need it badly enough

"I just don't understand, he seemed like such a nice man!"
I understand
We can do anything
Be the murderer, the mutilator, the savior, the silent
If we need it enough

No, this isn't a happy poem, but neither is life
It's more than just darkness too
More of a whispered warning to hold on tight

That you decide what you need
That you have the power of choice
over what you'll do and where it will lead

I can't tell you what's right
Only remind you
with five words
that you are in charge of your life

*If you need it enough

Tested am I.
The things said, are easy to brush,
unless a name you know is included.

Nice to know,
the things valued.
Nice to know,
the truth.

I know the full truth is not seen by either.
The only full truth comes from the mind of the beholder.

I've dared one,
I can dare another.

Be careful missy,
*I have contacts.

Everything she tells me is true.
I seek to impress,
I seek to understand.

I don't choose what my happiness is,
What I believe in,
What I laugh at.

They choose it for me.

I don't know how to disconnect.
I don't know how to stop,
because it's what I've taught myself.

She says I was most myself,
when I was away.
How can I bring myself to that standard?

They've taken that privilege away

I want to go back.
Back to that weekend.
So I know what it's like to be free.

Honestly I don't know myself anymore,
because everything I have done,
everything I ever though I believed...

*They'd chosen it for me

Claustrophobia
The fear of small spaces,
confined spaces.

Back against the wall,
the walls are closing in.
There is no escape,
from the rake on the skin.

Balled in a blanket,
desiring to be confined.
Pulling in closer,
and quieting the mind.

Sounds of screams,
blare in the ear.
Music gets louder,
trying to make everything disappear.

I've got a secret
a *****, little secret,

And secrets stuck inside are bound to shred you to bits
so you've got to find someone to tell, somehow, quick,

You're a puppet writhing on its string
waving your stubby, limp arms for attention,

You dance around yourself
and find pretty ways to phrase what you mean
"i'm not that okay right now" you finally say,

And then you're locked into a bizarre duet
filled with classical music, and dainty, lovely steps
of "why didn't you tell me?" and "i wish i could help,"

But it seems you're not really cut out for this dance
you're too afraid of stepping on toes and causing them pain
you nervously try to laugh off the mistakes,

"You looked like you were walking straight into that lake"
go ahead, try laughing that away,

You blush, you look down
hang holding your breath from your strings
because *someone knows your secret
and even though they won't mean to
they might hint at it enough to give it away,

Because that's what you did, right?
you could never just break down to the beat of your own drum
and tell them the truth
you could never just say
I've got a secret,

I've thought about killing myself before

No, you always wind up giving out a pretty, little
*I don't think I'm okay.