I was lost.
Every night I’d stand by my window in hopes that someone would help me.
The stars shone as bright as they could. They were in peace.
Something I wasn’t.
That was until I saw him.
That sorrow I had buried myself in had managed to get away.
And that smile that hasn’t seen the daylight in years managed to form.
But he was lost too.
And the same smile I had on my face reflected on his.
He was my lost boy.

I was happy with the man I wanted to have a future with.
I was happy with the friends who told me to stay away from you.
I was happy with the family that told me you were a bad influence.
But then you showed up again.
And my heart raced like it did when we were together.
I started to have second thoughts about the man I wanted to have a future with.
I wanted to prove the friends who told me to stay away from you wrong.
But I couldn’t go back those times.
All this time I thought I was missing you but I was wrong. I didn’t miss you. I missed what we had and what we had are now memories who have burned themselves deep in my mind who are constantly on repeat and thats whats making me miss you.

She always stood by the sea at night. She always loved the noise it made, and her memories would crash with one another just like the waves did. Her pale skin remained the same after my Annabel died. She was just a body without a soul, my love, she was already dead before she died. her long pitch black hair would flow with the wind. I would watch my love from the balcony, and she would be happy. Something she never was when she was home. My Annabel was in love. but not with me, but with the sea. Because it gave her something I couldn't possibly give to her and that was comfort. Her favorite place was the cliff, where she would sit with her feet hanging.But on that particular night, her feet weren't the only thing that would fall from the cliff. My Annabel has died...

Its painful huh? The pain you felt after you got cheated on. The pain you felt after you got lied to. But what hurt more, was the fact that you decided to go back after what he did. What hurt more was the fact that those words replayed in your mind and each time over and over again it became more painful and it didn’t change the way it made you feel. But you still went back. Because even after he warned you not to fall in love with him, you still did. Because even though he cheated on you and did the same thing to girls that he did to you, he still “Knew how to treat you”. And it sad cause at the end of the day you still went back and the same result would be expected. But you never got used to the feeling. Cause you actually felt the heartbreak. And you felt the way your heart broke into a million pieces. You only wanted to see the good in him but you didn’t. You couldn't bring out the good in him either. But everyone around you warned you about him and you only kept poisoning yourself by going back. He was the venom to your veins that even though it was killing you, you didn’t do anything to **** it out. You let it **** you by staying thinking it was love. But it had felt as if you hated yourself more than you loved yourself.

The pen in my hand, the paper remains unwritten.
The pen starts moving writing down the secrets it’s been hidden.
The writer remains quiet but the paper shows how much she’s screaming.
Wrote down how much she misses dreaming.
With the cold cup of coffee, to keep her awake.
Her enemies wouldn’t ever to feel this pain.

How did that ugly mind create those beautiful words?