Buzzing energy fills me
My nerves high-strung
Silence silence silence
Almost as if
I've been shunned
I take breaths
But that buzzing energy remains
My heart has withstood more
So I take time til this feeling drains
My heart subdued in a cage
So I hold it gently
Until it's peace it regains
Slowly, yet surely
I'll hold me if that's all I have
Slowly, yet surely

Lay me down gently
Put me down to sleep
When the night-time draws near
Allow my conscious to slumber deep

You cared for me so gently
Your love so very steep
Hands cradling my body
Knew that I could trust you while I was weak

And that hand became firmer
Clutching my cheek
Your figure looming larger
Rib cage trembling, letting out a creak

My heart laid bare
My chest ripped open in a heap
Your voice like daggers
Into my blood, your words seep

And slowly, as you lay me down
Force me down to sleep
The shadows of my cot grows
And silence slowly reigns over the night bleak

Not a meek voice heard from the baby
As you stand over me in a silent vicious weep
Knife in hand, prepared to take the leap
Gaze flicking over to the baby's eyes that begin to peep

Staring, as the baby begins to smile
Smile eerie, teeth wicked and sharp
Eyes blinking slowly, its stare
An oath that your soul it will reap

You draw back your dagger
Driving your frozen feet forward with a shriek
Coming down with momentum
Moonlight glinting with the blade's sweep

Relief washing over you
The baby's forsaken body lying in death asleep
Eyes still open, unmoving as you heave
Deep breath in, as your heart beats

Until, motionless eyes slowly roll to the side
The blood on your knife, now on your skin creeps
Crawling and drawing its way up in streaks
Encircling your wrist, holding you in its keep

You struggle in its grasp, as with torment it wreaks
It's body shrivelling as its blood encompasses your physique
Meshing its blood with your blood, overpowering your every essence
Until your lips although moving, are no longer able to speak

And slowly, your body shrivels along with the form in the cot
Blood flowing, down your body it creeps
Returns down your arms, down the shining blood-red blade
and back into the empty skin

Figure transforming, as the baby reaches down and slowly
The handle it retrieves
Drawing out the weapon
No longer in blood is it steeped

The baby closes its eyes, as sleep clutches it's form
Breathing small breathes through its small nose
Figure of a mother barely holding on
Laying on the ground as her eyes leak

Going through the motions
Holding your peace at hand
Until I passed down by you
And you chose to take a stand
Enraged at my choices
Your words came tumbling like sand
Chasing me up
Until you were assured command
But surprise surprise
Your words' intended target rebound
And I, in my subconscious' control, withstand
Words leaving my mouth
Unplanned
Stranger ignored to
Stranger unmanned
Unable to raise your gaze to where
Your ego cannot expand
You leave
And I take in the situation so I don't misunderstand
It was not my actions but
The way I was dressed that had me ******
Cursed, directed animosity at
But you reached me at a point at which
I don't care - and
Looking at you I question why you
Forgot to look at the mirror; tanned Complexion making you and me
No different
And yet you choose self-hatred
And I won't be weaker.
Choose your own battles
For I fight mine quicker.
Won't find me fallen
Because I set the pace with vigor.
Too many a times I've faced your kind;
You're not the first and
You're not the last,
Going through your lot
Will eventually become like
Breathing air.
Choose your battles
If you dare.

This is not what I want to feel
Not what I want at all,
Not when my heart beats softly
Asking for a little warmth.

My heart beats to your silence
Surrounded by the you of yesterday
Lurching for your company
Reaching out to no avail

The me of yesterday is no more
And the you of now is unknown
To me who sees only shrouds
Hanging between us

Let it be known that my feelings for you remain
Deep felt and innocent
And yet they suffer all the same
But the rope was let go
And the curtain laid
Our goodbyes said
Closure in vain
For my heart still beats
Beats to your name
Old friend
The barrier of our goodbye remains
That I would not change
And yet I yearn all the same

Accusations are made by the entitled
And for my blood, I react unbridled
Honest, to a fault
For my sadness is too much
My happiness overboard
And my silence uncalled.
I feel no fault in the way my heart tears
Yearns
Recedes
Flowing out uninhibited,
Like blood in my veins

And I'll cry if I couldn't sleep
I'll laugh at a book I read
Hold back my words because, how much will they mean?
How much will you see of me
Feel of me
Stand by me
Hear, when I speak?

And so I choose to feel
Feel for myself whose feelings remain in one body
Feel for big and small, all that I want, no more
For my cup full, slightly tipped, and it'll spill

Like sea foam settling the sand
Like waves laying straight the land
Time passes
And you and I
Forget our names that we called ourselves by
Fading into a distant sky
Lost to the shadows of the sunrise
Our meeting calm
Our meeting turbulent
Let the water recede
And with the shifting hand
Brush flat our differences
Like dust wiped off the tv stand
Engrained my memory is of you
And engrained is your memory of me
Knife carved deep, wind stroking my skin
Come tomorrow
You appear as new
And I appear to have forgotten you
You appear free
And I holding what you have done to me
Unable to let go
The tide pulls and pulls
And the rope is set free

You've chosen your path
Oh tyrant
Chosen your path
Oh tyrant
Chosen to birth children into this world
Oh tyrant
Chosen to forsake your responsibilities
Oh tyrant
Your choice
Your choice
Your choice
Only your voice
No other
Can speak
Oh tyrant
Soothsayer not, to those who need it most
Soothsayer to your ego
For whom you crafted a home around you
Oh tyrant
To what benefit do you live?
Dallying in exhaustion
To what effort do you owe?
Oh tyrant
Who can do no wrong
See no wrong
Hear no wrong
Know no wrong...
You are perfect...




Unbirth me