it's the way the sunlight hits her eye
that makes her look so enticing,
like a glass of whiskey
on a thirsty day
of never being
enough.

it's that brown being lit up golden
through the windows
that tease a glance
into a broken
soul.

it's my fault for always finding myself
out in that desert, with nothing
to drink away the need
to forget about and
walk out of the
desert.

it's that jar of honey she sees the whole
world through that keeps pouring
and calling me to take
a drink of her
whiskey hued
irises.

my only defense is uttering out loud:
name's Ander,
and I'm an alcoholic.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions hide in there.

her eyes drip venom,
incapacitating
all she glances upon,
turning a summer sunrise
into decay.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions move beneath the surface.

her lips skitter,
chasing down
and breaking apart
even the sturdiest of mountains.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions crawl under skin.

her teeth gnaw,
eroding
all she touches,
turning a broken promise
into gossamer strands.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions dance within her skull.

her chest heaves,
filling up
and emptying out
the horizon.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions bleeding throughout.

her heart roars,
shaking
all she treads on,
turning a lifetime
into dust.

she's got shadows in her hair
and I no longer care about the scorpions.

her hands shake,
holding my
immortal coil
in a death grip.

she's got scorpions in her hair.

I like the way you hide the wisdom in your hair,
Those starlight-silver strands collecting in your midnight.

I love the way you shy away from your age,
While the shadows dance within.

I adore the gray brush strokes
That entwine
And blend
On raven feathers
Of dark black hair.

witnessing the cracks
in your feeble armor
tears a whole
through a heavy heart.

I can feel the scars
upon your broken coil
and the salt flats
below your eyes.

he spilled the blood
of his bitter fists
upon that cardboard frame
the world calls your body.

he cleaved at the brittle coal
that is your aching bones,
yet you still carry yourself
upon the winter winds.

he spat in the ocean of your soul.

yet you hold on tight
to his arm,
as if he is the anchor
that keeps you safely in the bay.

and all you need do is obey.

fearful of the storm beyond,
of the deep blue of endless
possibility...
you stay within the confines
of a jagged little shoreline.

he is the rope aroung your nape
and you can't help but hang yourself.

a chance to deliver
auspicious nuggets of gold
flaked hope.

a small change,
yet one remembered.

a step back
from scorching ground,
powdered leaves,
broken bone
and
years of never.

a small step,
yet one remembered.

a fear unknown
to all the numbered
beats within a heart.
terror lingered,
envy of a self I've yet to be.

a fear,
unforgotten.

still as the wind
would allow me to be,
witnessing her
as vibrant
as only a dream
would seem.

eyes of green,
eyes of dream,
eyes of fading leaves
in a hot August sun.

still as the earth
would allow me to be,
absorbing her
as impermanent
as only a revery
could ever be.

eyes of green,
eyes of dream,
eyes of shaded clay
under blades of sage.

still as the fire
deep within my heart
could burn.

gazing longer than I should.

still as the the gentle ocean
of her chartreuse eyes,
reveling in her
marble meadow,
with those twin ponds
of green,
in a passe-partout of
ebony locks of wilderness.

gazing longer than I should.
gazing longingly
at her eyes of endless summer,
eyes of green,
eyes of dream.

thousands of wasps
swirl around me
in a painful display.

I sting myself with insecurities.

hundreds of rats
drop from above
in a torrent of decay.

I plague myself with insecurities.

packs of wolves
dance around the stars
gnawing rabid at my flesh.

I rend myself with insecurities.

gargantuan paws dig
away at the dirt that
I was made of.

I bury myself in insecurities.

ursine hunger rips
and tears into
a still beating heart.

I starve myself with insecurities.

frost wrecked skies
crack above me
and fall sharp into
a dancing mind.

I wish for honey,
but I sting myself
instead.

I don't deserve anything else.