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241 · Nov 2019
Have a good good night
XIII Nov 2019
I want you to sleep well tonight
And every other night
Every night

I'd lie awake
Even with my sleepyhead
There's nothing a hug can't mend

I'll wait for you to sleep first
Until your snore is heard
The blanket is all yours

Because I want you to know
That you're not alone
I'm with you, now and on nights to come along
240 · Nov 2017
sapnu puas
XIII Nov 2017
The **** totality of their being was sent.
Is it to your liking?
239 · Sep 2017
Narcissus' Sins
XIII Sep 2017
Oh my creeping melancholia
It was seven o'clock
The night is getting deadly
With regrets, fears and sins so eerie

Sloth! Lust! Gluttony!
Wrath! Pride! Envy! and Greed!
I stared at the river that reflects
My beautiful face

If being a hypocrite will clean me
I'd rather be *****
I have to be free
From the judgments your eyes see

If I have to hate myself to deserve your love
No thanks, I pass
Because I love myself more than anyone now
And that's the sin I'm willing to carry 'til I'm gone
237 · Nov 2017
Cycle
XIII Nov 2017
My ever-growing fear blocks me again
Not only from fear of getting hurt
But also from the fear of hurting others
But as I fear those things, I'm unknowingly doing them
Sometimes, people hurt others while getting hurt.
235 · Jun 2014
The Ghost
XIII Jun 2014
It haunts me
Even with my eyes closed or not
Even with tears that hinder my sight
Even if I try to forget with all my might

It haunts me
The image of your ring in my palm
The sound of my heart not being able to keep calm
The echo of my voice silently shouting '****!'

It haunts me
Your emotionless face in my peripheral
The feeling as I get hysterical
The confusion on what not to do and what I shall

It haunts me
The conviction of your words 'We're over'
The backward steps you took as I try to get closer
My feelings that are nowhere near better

It haunts me
How you said not to touch you
How you said not to come near you
How you said 'Move on' and that that's what I should do

It haunts me
The pleads of 'Don't go'
The cries of 'I love you'
The tries to stop you

It still haunts me
Even though the ring is back around your finger
The fear of experiencing it all over again lingers
I'm so afraid that I don't want to remember

It will haunt me
Probably forever
Whether we'll end up together
Or you'll be with another
230 · Apr 2020
The Audacity...
XIII Apr 2020
..of you to shout!
when you have not heard
one tiny cry
of a whistle or a whisper

..of you to scream!
when you have not listened
to the begging,
to the pleading

..of you to demand!
when you have not given any
out of your heart
though you had many

..of you to blame!
when you're at fault too
putting others to shame
you aren't always true

..of you to betray!
my trust
when I thought you're with me come what may
you pounded it into dust

..of you to act!
as if nothing happened
apologies is all I ask
how is this heart ever gonna mend?

but then again..
THE AUDACITY..!

..of me!
to forgive
and suffer silently
over an unsaid sorry
230 · Sep 2017
Offspring
XIII Sep 2017
You're the one who gave birth;
You're not the victim;
You're the culprit;
Take a good look at your offspring.

*"Now, aren't you proud, Mama?"
225 · Nov 2017
Negative
XIII Nov 2017
I've already lost a lot
I've already lost count
A few more losses won't make any difference,
would it?
—too many that it's already negative.
225 · Apr 2020
A Bittersweet Paradox
XIII Apr 2020
You get sleepy;
You drink coffee;
You get sleepy because you drink coffee.
And it goes on for an eternity.
223 · Sep 2017
X
XIII Sep 2017
X
I am forecasting a storm
I am foreseeing doom
But try me
To dance with a devil, are you ready?
It's read as "ten".
200 · Nov 2019
Storm Signal #4
XIII Nov 2019
It is raining sighs.
© Cepheus June 6, 2019
199 · Sep 2017
Cinderella
XIII Sep 2017
If the shoe fits,
feel free to walk in it.
197 · Apr 2020
Busy
XIII Apr 2020
I have no time to write poems.
Because all my time is spent
actually loving you instead.
Us time.
191 · Nov 2019
J ust P laying
XIII Nov 2019
under the pretense of someone else
behind a new pseudonym
will someone recognize who's within?
will someone find that it's just you hiding?
© Cepheus January 19, 2018
188 · Jul 2023
Lingering Regret
XIII Jul 2023
i should’ve shouted your name
i should’ve followed you to the ends of the earth
i should’ve disregarded your fame
i should’ve known that that was just a once in a lifetime feat—

that I could’ve taken
your hands—i should’ve taken
our picture—i should’ve taken
a moment that i could’ve stolen

i should’ve been selfish
i should’ve seized it

even if it meant of war,
of zombie-swarm,
of everybody recognizing your star,
of revelation of your sanctuary,
of chaos of thee,
so, it shall be

i should’ve seized it
asked for a drop of ink of your handprint

i should’ve seized it
but i didn’t

maybe it was cowardice
but hell, i gave you peace
like how your name was supposed to mean
at my own peace's expense
because ****, you couldn’t spell this lingering regret
without the letters IRENE
I met Red Velvet's Irene and instead of approaching her, I gave her peace.
184 · Nov 2019
And Aubrey was her name...
XIII Nov 2019
Allow me to stutter
B-Because this is something i really can't admit
ExEmption—that is what you are to me
GanGin' up on me like little squirrels
AsphAlt-dragging cuddly bear
InducIng pain and ecstasy
Lalala-Lullaby of nightmare and desire no one should see

It really is something
N-Nah, you really are something
InItially something from my peripheral vision
E-elEvated like a server administrator
GoonG! a golden mic when you didn't auditioned
"OooooOoooh~" cried the wolf in a human form
© Cepheus February 26, 2019
184 · Nov 2019
Chemical Reaction
XIII Nov 2019
I truly hope that this love
won't turn into hatred
in the end
because I am honestly tired
of this formula.
© Cepheus June 6, 2019
180 · Nov 2019
Monochrome Sunset
XIII Nov 2019
Sometimes the brightest sun
That shows gleeful colors at its best
Can be covered with clouds
Gray and ugly like a beast

But even so, even so you're like the gray sunset
If it means anything, just a little thing
I still find you beautiful
Whether monochrome or colorful
© Cepheus June 5, 2019
174 · Jul 2023
143 words for 41 months
XIII Jul 2023
Has it only been 41 months?
I feel like it’s been long, like a lot
Lots have been said and done
Trying, fun times and some

I still remember how I fell for you
I shouldn’t back then; but I had no choice but to

As cliché as it may sound, it was all slow motion
You laughed at something I said, and everything became background noise
I wished to always make you laugh, from then on
Your smile became my priority, first and foremost

It was a love I have never thought will come realized
I thought of giving up; even stepped back
But you turned around and took my hands
Walked with me and never let me out of your grasp

It is fun to reminisce these
We have come a long way, truly
To more I love yous, shall we?
To Abegail, my bibi,  happy 41st monthsary :*
173 · Nov 2019
FX
XIII Nov 2019
FX
Every time you loosen our entwined hands,
I tried to hold onto the warmth

Every time I think I’ll be able to meet you,
My heart dyes with a beautiful shade.
Even the common things turn into memories when we’re together

Even your voice, even those fragile shoulders,
Even your eyes are not mine,
No matter how much I am by your side,
My feelings won’t come true unless I destroy your future,
One moment’s dream; I love you to the extent that it hurts,
But tonight is ending

I walk the shimmering streets,
Trying to cover the times we can’t meet,
Your playful smile, after our hands had met for the first time,
Keeps reviving in my memories

I want to embrace you; I want to embrace you tightly,
Yet you are not mine; my broken heart now,
Wants to embrace you, but I cannot,
I want you to the degree that it’s overflowing, that it’s melting,
Without even being able to stop the FX and make a promise
You wave your hands

Even your voice, even those fragile shoulders,
Even your eyes are not mine,
No matter how much I am by your side,
My feelings won’t come true unless I destroy your future,
One moment’s dream; I love you to the extent that it hurts,
But tonight is ending
"© TAXI by TOHOSHINKI Lyrics Translation;
TAXI = FX"
© Cepheus February 26, 2019
172 · Nov 2019
I'm All Ready
XIII Nov 2019
I am Cepheus the king
And I ride a phoenix
Though dethroned
Cassiopeia shall come back soon
© Cepheus January 17, 2018
166 · Nov 2019
Love-Fueled Poet No More
XIII Nov 2019
Just for the record
Once, I used to write love poems
Yep, I did, before

Fluttering feelings of euphoria
Used to be my genre
Cause I'm a natural Casanova
Keeping you feeling loved is my number one agenda

Yet you broke me
Of all people, really
Understandably, I'm now unable to write sweet poems about what took my sanity
"'Cause you fvcked me."
© Cepheus August 10, 2018
165 · Nov 2019
Hello Karma My Old Friend
XIII Nov 2019
"Surprise!"
It stood on my doorway
I sighed
They said it will caught on me someday

Guess I haven't been keeping my tabs
I still have unpaid bills to pay
That broken trust
On that unfortunate day

It came like a mirror
Perfectly synchronized
Just like how it happened before
It swiftly unraveled before my eyes

What I did to a friend
Unintentional, yes
Was done to me too, by a friend to whom I've fallen
Unintentional too, and it's a mess

I was the perpetrator
Now I am the victim
I guess this is how life goes
And I deserve it

And though this is the case now
The stubborn that I am hasn't given up
Still holding on to a questionable love
How long, I wonder, can I keep this up?

Is it hopeless to believe in this fictional vow?
In this one thought, an idea
That maybe you're my karma now
But perhaps tomorrow you'll be my good karma
© Cepheus June 5, 2019
165 · Nov 2019
No(?)(.)
XIII Nov 2019
It will always be a possible "no"
unless you ask.
But it will never be a certain "no"
if you don't ask.
© Cepheus February 26, 2019
163 · Nov 2019
Oh Glenda Aboga-DIE
XIII Nov 2019
Oh Glenda
Have you received your karma?
I sure hope you already did
'Cause if not, I'd give it myself

I was reminded of what you did
So subtle, it took me three years
You probably don't even remember
But to me it still lingers

If you think about it
The beginning of the end all started with you
Sure it could've happened either way
But the finger who pulled the trigger was yours

Oh no, don't worry
It's not only you who's to blame
I still find her the most guilty
Oh you won't mind joining my little hate-game

Remember your seemingly innocent teasing?
Like you were so fond of us back then
But at the back of your mind you find me so naive
The truth is, you were really disgusted

That's why you had to step up
You felt the need to save
Oh yes, 'cause a fully-consensual-same-***-relationship is a no-no to you, no, not on your watch
Who knows, I might've gotten her enslaved

And so you had to evangelize
Just in case she had forgotten hell
Shove the grisly details into her mind
She's fragile, so she kissed-and-tell...

Goodbye to me
She won't fight for a love if it'd deny her an entrance to the pearly gates of course
Who'd trade an eternal happiness for a mere human being like me
So much for a "loving god", huh, go figure

Anyways, I am holding you accountable
For one soul was apparently being saved,
is equivalent to one soul to fall
How are you going to own up to this, babe?

You know you didn't have the right
IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
I would've tore your nose apart
For rudely sticking itself to what was clearly NOT YOUR MESS

But then you were instantly gone
I couldn't even shot you a deathly glare
You just went AWOL, over and done
Oh dear, do you fvcking think that was fair?

And so you two left me in despair
Desperately wishing that karma's really an evil *****
Giving my faith to it that you two'll eventually get what you deserve
For making a perfectly loving person turn into an insane world-hating ****** who with just the mention of the word L-O-V-E, in anger and sorrow, cringe and twitch

Don't even try to wash your hands, no, no
No matter what you say I've made up my mind, I sing blah blah blah
Dareka no sei ni shitai yo
Tsurai na iya iya


For your weak brains to understand, in other words
Listen, or rather, read:
I want to make it someone else's fault
It hurts so much. I hate it. I hate it.


If you didn't know
Love + pain = hatred
Oh, of course you won't
I forgot you two are saints

Well, wait 'til you experience the same judgments and emotional torture I did
I just have a few last words to bid
Like what's in your surname, ABOGA-something, memory's not that sharp, aye
The letters I'm sure in it is, **DIE
"Throwback hatred Thursday. "
© Cepheus August 9, 2018
163 · Nov 2019
Hedgehog
XIII Nov 2019
I'll hold you
Even though it means piercing me through
my body, mind, heart
and soul too
For you Hedgehog, I'll do
© Cepheus June 4, 2019
161 · Nov 2019
Anxieties do come true.
XIII Nov 2019
Nothing is more painful than the realization of your anxiety.
© Cepheus June 5, 2019
158 · Nov 2019
The Moon and the Wolf
XIII Nov 2019
He is now the wolf
who cannot howl to the moon.
Because he knows
the distance he cannot cross.
Just like a poet
who's already afraid of his own pen.
© Cepheus February 15, 2019
156 · Nov 2019
Pedestal
XIII Nov 2019
Lift her there and she will never go down.
© Cepheus February 15, 2019
151 · Nov 2019
ALT + 0169
XIII Nov 2019
I understand
I hurt you
You did not deserve that
But I did not deserve this too

What, you ask?
YOU PLAGIARIZING MY POEMS
Everytime I read yours, I gasp
Those were my children, my words

STOP COPYING ME
Can you not think of something original?
True, you alter it subtly
But those bullets are obviously from my arsenal

Some might say that I should be proud
For you drew your inspiration from mine
But gods, I am those kids' dad
I fvcking have the copyright
"©"
© Cepheus August 17, 2018
149 · Nov 2019
Only Me And HelloPoetry
XIII Nov 2019
Only me
and HelloPoetry
should know
that I'm feeling a-feeling-that-should-not-be-named towards you.
What is said here,
will stay here.
You will never know.
You should not know.
© Cepheus November 9, 2018
148 · Nov 2019
The King of Aethiopeia
XIII Nov 2019
Cepheus* *is the King of Aethiopeia
It is the
new reign of a new kingdom
A ruler that lives by re-branding
J ust and P* eace
© Cepheus January 19, 2018
143 · Nov 2019
I Have No Heart
XIII Nov 2019
“A heart that is yours is a heart that loves you.”
"© Daddy
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/92yezx/come_to_daddy/ "
© Cepheus August 22, 2018
143 · Nov 2019
Cepheus' Death
XIII Nov 2019
Goodbye Cepheus, goodbye
You have let go and had that last cry


Goodbye Cassiopeia, goodbye
It is another constellation's time now
139 · Nov 2019
Road to a Hundred
XIII Nov 2019
Hello,

Shall we start counting?
To a hundred
Every step will
Leave my heart broken
Lest I become insane
Apology sweetie for I'll deem this to be just a game

Goodbye.
"Hello = Goodbye."
© Cepheus February 15, 2019
XIII Nov 2019
Will a Beauty still come?
No I won't keep my hopes up
I, for one, knows how painful it is for the world to let you down
So I've learned how to stood by as the rose petals fall, and quietly watch

No Beauty will arrive
No, not for a hideous demon roaming the earth alive
Who would? None, not in their right mind
No one will be able to bear my slime

No one will be able to see what's beyond
What's inside before I had acquired my fangs
The me when I still wasn't a madman
But I guess, that is just fine

I don't deserve it anyway
At least that's how the world wants it to play
So be it, hate everything until I rot away
Being the Beast that I am, I'll have it the world's way
© Cepheus August 10, 2018
135 · Nov 2019
LE'DIF
XIII Nov 2019
I am different
I don't stutter
I don't talk of trivial things
My vocabulary is darker

I am under six feet plus deep
I shout out of abyss
I am just the iceberg's tip
What you see is just a tease

Don't put me in the pedestal
I am not a saint
Nor God's nor Lucifer's
Neither in between

So if you ever play of possibilities
Stop
You can't contain this
Overwhelming miseries is where you'll end up

Because unless you learn how to write
A poet will only write of what glorifies him
Unless you learn how to fight a battle of rhymes
You'll always be the immortal killer; not the victim

Because I speak of words lost in the Tower of Babel
But you will never ever understand
'Cause yes, I am an angel
But a fallen one
© Cepheus February 15, 2019
133 · Nov 2019
Holding Feet While Sleeping
XIII Nov 2019
We were on an outing
It was chilly
We were sleeping
Under the same blanket

Your foot provided warmth
To my foot, to be exact
I didn't move after that
You didn't too and I was glad

You were extra touchy that day
Have you always been this way?
Yeah, I think, back during college days
Overthinking about this really isn't okay

I should really stop thinking
Of possibilities
Yep, it's just because of the recency
There's just no meaning to it

So let's stop remembering
The warmth of our touching skin
'Cause even the sandcastle we built
Was already eaten by the angry waves
© Cepheus October 25, 2018
XIII Nov 2019
Find me in this haystack of poets—
soaring where words and rhyme meets.
Find the poems still dedicated to you—
that you're still immortal in ink and in my heart too.
"You still win a hundred of poems against Stella. "
© Cepheus January 19, 2018
129 · Nov 2019
Lunar Eclipse
XIII Nov 2019
As the earth gets in between the sun and the moon
The heart that was frozen blue, thaws
Before that sweet blood shatters
In that split-second darkness
"Go along with the 152-year-spectacle."
Prisoners should be freed from their cell
© Cepheus February 1, 2018
128 · Nov 2019
Boardin'
XIII Nov 2019
I brought you once to waveboarding
I plan to bring you again
How about some waterboarding?
"Hehe"
© Cepheus September 10, 2018
128 · Nov 2019
...is active now
XIII Nov 2019
Whenever I see your name
With that little circle colored green
On a bubble drawn with your face
My heart can't help but race
Race into a turmoil of pain
Like we're in a different place
Yet so near in a virtual space
Like I can just type a few keys
To trouble you again with my feelings
But I stop myself and grit my teeth
For that's the thing you'd want the least
For I am someone you'd want to be over with
And I could just delete our message
But for me it's too much waste
Because I'll always want to reminisce
The words we used to exchange
Because it's always you I miss
No matter how stupidly martyr it is
But then whenever we're both active
I found myself leaving
For I know you don't feel the same
And yet I foolishly spend everyday this way
© Cepheus January 19, 2018
127 · Nov 2019
Hide & Seek
XIII Nov 2019
I'll go hide
You'll be the it
I'll go full camouflage
Don't expect me in the closet

You started the countdown
For you I'll be invisible
For I am someone you wish is gone
Open your eyes and you'll see me no more

But know that this game will never end
You will look for me whether you like it or not
For I am the only one that can complete your existence
I am the bearer of our sentence's dot
© Cepheus January 18, 2018
126 · Nov 2019
Onychomycosis
XIII Nov 2019
It's funny how I got it
After I dumped my deposit
I lift my shirt
And bit
My left ring finger instead of the fabric

Few days later I totally forgot about it
Watched in horror how my nail seems to start decaying
Thought that along with my heart, where it's scientifically connected—
now it also faced its death

I remembered after though that that wasn't the case
My dead ring fingernail that up until now, stinks
Along with the other end of its veins
Was all caused by my own self
And its refusal to let go and make 'em start to heal
"Nail fungus."
© Cepheus August 17, 2018
126 · Nov 2019
HAHAHA
XIII Nov 2019
Funny how
hello
means goodbye also

Funny how
this is the first poem dedicated
yet it might be the last as well

Funny how
I intended it to be a hundred
but the numbers might've already ended

Funny how
you should be reading this
but you don't know of its existence

Funny how
I thought this to be another chance
but it's just another part of me gone
"#1"
© Cepheus January 31, 2019
124 · Nov 2019
Nobody Knows
XIII Nov 2019
Even if I love, nobody knows,
The footsteps that conceal you,
As you watch the curtain of tonight approach,
We want each other endlessly, crazily,
Without anybody knowing the liberation of one’s sigh

With this, we will be able to embrace the scent of crime and meet,
Excuses, such as not being able to sleep due to a fever, does not matter

Pushing you to the wall, baby checkmate,
The situation where we can’t help but melt into one other,
What are you still afraid of?
I’m next to you; in the depths of your body, baby

Even the satisfying fate,
Even the beautiful eternity,
It doesn’t matter anymore; you’re everything,
Getting drawn into your mesmerizing eyes,
Without anybody knowing my daily life

If you don’t want to tell a lie,
Don’t say anything until I open my eyes,
Only I know the truth; that this is not a nightmare but love

The bitter and sad black chocolate,
The communication we send by our mouths,
Because you promised that tears meant the end,
Now we are feeling each other on the next level

I want to see the blue sky with you in the future,
Can I dream of that? Secretly in my heart, without you knowing,
Nobody knows the words that are carried through this melody,
As I play the piano behind your back while you sleep,

I’m next to you; in the depths of your body, baby

Even if I love, nobody knows,
The footsteps that conceal you,
As you watch the curtain of tonight approach,
We want each other endlessly, crazily,
Without anybody knowing the liberation of one’s sigh

Even the satisfying fate,
Even the beautiful eternity,
It doesn’t matter anymore; you’re everything,
Getting drawn into your mesmerizing eyes,
Without anybody knowing my daily life
"© Nobody Knows by Tohoshinki English Translation"
© Cepheus February 26, 2018
120 · Nov 2019
Two Hearts
XIII Nov 2019
I had to let you go
to make your heart whole.
Even though it means
leaving my heart broken into pieces.
© Cepheus January 21, 2018
118 · Nov 2019
Once upon a time...
XIII Nov 2019
You stopped me from writing
You said wait until 2018
Then assess my feelings
If I still feel the same
Before I go publishing
The poem I've written
During that time when everything was on whirlwind

I've patiently waited
As I've promised
It's fine now, isn't it?
I am now opening my tight-sealed lips
To tell of an untold fairy tale
That no matter how tragic
I believe, hasn't ended yet
"If it's still not happy, it's not yet the end. "
© Cepheus January 19, 2018

— The End —