The confines of my flesh erode my soul
My ribcage wages war on my heart
I wish to tear myself apart from this prison of rotting bones
As only then should I taste this decaying world's sweetness

I long for the life of the oceans
All-seeing, all-consuming forces of nature
Whose fury submerges cities in its ferocity
Their smooth bodies undestroyable, divine to our wretched forms

The fury in my body was molded for a divine force
My sorrows made only for the inanimate to bear
Loose waves that belong to the oceans
Apathy of the waters is for I took their care

The sand lines on the shore are just like you and me
Unable to oppose the pull of the sea
Yet every time I draw lines in the sand
I make a wish they would remain until I'm back

I take not two steps and they're washed away
The sea asks me why I come here every day
I move closer to answer the sea
That's when I know sand lines are just like you and me

I walk in the hallways
And I hear someone say
"This is the worst day of my life"
And we just had class together
And I know
Someone stole a pencil of his

I can't help but wonder
How could it be
That for someone it might be losing a pencil
And some it might be getting beat really bad one day
seeing a parent being put in jail, maybe leave
Or seeing your father say he wants to die
And get on his knees crying and shouting
In the middle of the street
Oh why
Oh why

A question
I get a kick out of asking people is
What would you do, if you found out that this is all a simulation?
Most people answer
That they would do whatever they want,
Go crazy!
Honestly
Id just keep going along
Maybe with some more experiments
But that's it
Because repercussions are still a thing
And I'm stuck there anyway
Everything remains the same
There is nothing I would know as real
Except what is fake

One of the best feelings ever
Is when I finally
Get to be alone
And feel the relief of removing the mask
Of a normal, calm person

I can let out the breath
I didn't even know I was holding
And I can finally be
The weird specimen
That is me

I always knew
That he wasn't really normal
I mean Penny’s dad never yelled
Or cried
Or switched all the time
But I didn't really obsess over it
Until I was around eight-maybe nine
Memories of the day
And the sound of his sobbing passing through the thin walls
Kept me awake

I did what they warn us not to do
I took my phone
And Googled
His problems
His symptoms
The things that I had to suffer from

There were too many questions
I needed answers
I needed solutions

Haste not,
Let beauty brew
and bubble,
becoming more thorough
through the rubble.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned
I have drank from the sacred cup, tainting it with the atrocities of my mind.
Forgive me.
For I give you my life today and confess my faith in your son.
I dread the loss of heaven and fear the agonies of hell
Forgive me father
For I am not truly seeking forgiveness.
I have every intention of sinning again.
Letting it's sweet taste fill me up,
Allowing me to drink from the cup and experience salvation once more.