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and YOU watched

me as i looked

so small

standing

under

the twinkling night

sky

catching shooting

stars on my

toungue,

wishing

that this

night

would

go on

forever

like the endless diamond

sky

that YOU

kissed

me under,

the moonlight

casting a faint

glow

on YOUR breathtaking

face

as YOU

promised

to love me

forever,

the same

moonlight

illuminating

a trail of

tears

sliding

down my

cheeks

as YOU

break

that promise,

break

my heart.

YOU

told me

YOU

would give me

a star

to wear

on my left

finger,

and that

i had a

smile brighter

and more beautiful

than

saturn's rings,

and now i

watch

YOU walk away,

leaving me

alone

under

our moon.

YOU told me

i was YOUR

everything,

and now

i am

merely

another star

in YOUR

ever expanding

galaxy.
It's as if you have pressed pause
and you're not really certain if you will ever unpause...
You're hazy and dazy, it's hard to make any decisions.
You're convinced you're actually doing something and then when you sober up you realize the day has passed, unused...literally nothing was done.

A waste.
Wasting away.

But it has given me a light...
Now when I'm sober I realize how beautiful life is and how dark opiates are.
 May 2016 Joshua Haines
Aeerdna
There are clouds covering my soul
and I know the rain they're crying
is hurting your heart too.
I'd make it nice and shiny
just so you can feel the warmth,
but I don't know how to do it anymore.
Clouds of silence darkening me whole
unspoken words I have for you
are dying under the tempest
while the blank page stares at me
and I feel useless.

A rain of fire
burning us both.


The sun always shines after a storm
and I hope
a rainbow will appear
before these falling flames
will turn us to ashes
flying over the ocean between.
T
 May 2016 Joshua Haines
Aeerdna
I'll take your hand as I've had in many dreams
and together we'll fly in the night's sky
our love braided with the numberless stars
will make angels cry.

We'll find our place next to the moon
caressed by the light of the stars
I'll lay my head on your chest
and in the sweetest dream forever we'll be
tasting the joy of living
our bodies will float above the mortality
untouched by death's sour kiss.

I'll take your hand and fly with you to the stars
and there our souls will discover immortality.

*À gauche de la lune et parmi les étoiles
nous trouverons l'amour éternel.
https://soundcloud.com/aeerdnaloony/amongst-the-stars

.
this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you
 May 2016 Joshua Haines
Daan
You deserve your eyes less red,
a young gentleman to wed.
I cannot give solutions, at least
not intended ones.

I want your eyes to dry, lie
with you as we sleep, as we seep
away.

You trust my every word, involuntarily,
even though you have more to say.

As we stare once more, at last, for one last time,
we know,
when grateful, our eyes are most sublime.
We end here
while all else continues.
The wishes of raindrops
led me to you -

a transparent pearl that
glistens on the petal of

a flower

teetering on the edges of
life, a kiss away from

falling

forgetting, forgotten in the folds
of earth

a ***** away from being dug
up, exposed like

a raw nerve. The calcium in
your bones

spread unevenly through
your spine

so that you must stoop
to touch me

I am a lion's tooth -
a flower blown on the whim of

a wish
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