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  Jan 23 Mariya
Em MacKenzie
I’ve heard it takes a lifetime to live a minute
and it takes a minute to live a lifetime.
You don’t know what you’re in until you’re in it,
and you don’t see the sun until the sunshine.
So I’ll resign to waiting in line,
wasting my time, and losing my mind.

I know when I’ve been beat,
so don’t be surprised if I retreat.
I’d rather face the music then face the heat,
rather ******* tears as they’re sweet;
as sweet as sweet defeat.

It takes only a second to start a war,
and then naturally all hell breaks loose.
Do you know which side you’re fighting for?
Did you even get to choose?
So I’ll resign to the front line,
biding my time searching for a land mine.

I know when I’ve been beat
so don’t be shocked if I move my feet
to find cover from the fire on the street.
At long last the circle is complete
and it’s as sweet as sweet defeat.

“I’ll get you and your little dog too”
it’s all I’m hearing, and it’s ringing true,
along with “what’s a poor boy to do?”
“You have a choice: red or blue”
do you dare turn reality askew?
Or take your chances and wait for lieu?

I know when I’ve been beat,
so don’t be worried if I take a seat.
I can’t win the battle and I won’t cheat,
I’ll be lamb to slaughter; made to meat
and I’ll taste as sweet as sweet defeat.
The white flag is stained and ripped.
  Jan 22 Mariya
Peter Gerstenmaier
I can feel the rough rope
Gently caressing my neck
Embracing it like an old friend
I'm not afraid, I'm just tired
So very tired of everything

So I take a deep breath, 1, 2, 3...
And in a passionless swift move
I kick the bench under my feet
Dance in the air for a little while
Until I finally find my peace
Note 1: this poem was reported and taken out of HP. After a review, it went back on (gladly Eliot York has more sense than the one who flagged it).
Note 2: if you're having this kind of thoughts, please, talk about it. Seek help!
Original note: Another nightmare I had last week. Woke up sweating and frantically kicking the air.
It's not like suicide is a new thing to me - I attempted it when I was 15... but I haven't had suicidal thoughts in many years. And that's as scary as it gets. I don't wanna give in to them.
  Jan 22 Mariya
Emma
Beneath the moon's cold gaze,
the lamb stands still,
her hair woven with wildflowers,
their fragile stems clinging to her skin,
a quiet declaration of survival.

The wolves circle in shadows,
their breath thick with knowing,
not hunger,
but the weight of her story,
the rebellion beneath her silence.

It began with his hands,
the boy who touched her scars
as if naming them holy.
Her body, aching,
spoke in confessions only his fingertips could read,
a language of wounds and wars.

The wolves see everything—
how she unravels in his presence,
how her lies are shards of truth,
jagged, trembling,
strung between her ribs.

Insects hum in rhythm with her undoing,
blades cutting where words could not.
First his. Then hers.
And afterward, his hands again,
searching for something unbroken
amid the ruins.

Dust settles on crushed wildflowers,
petals buried beneath the weight of their becoming.
Faith and doubt collide in glances,
unspoken, untethered.

Still, she remains.
The lamb, no longer an offering,
but a testament.
The wolves bite into her defiance,
but she does not fall.
She waits, silent,
for the boy who believed,
to see her,
sacred.
  Jan 22 Mariya
Emma
Watercolours smear across the sky,
Dreams painted in fleeting strokes,
Set alight by the smallest hope,
A spark carried in tiny hands.

Prayers whispered into the wind,
Words too soft, yet insistent,
Chasing after fugitive moments,
Seeking solace in the unknown.

The world presses, sharp and relentless,
Leaving scabs where innocence once lived.
But even in pain, the child persists,
Each wound a quiet rebellion.

We hold on, hearts stained with wonder,
Refusing to let the colours fade,
Resisting the weight of what we lose,
Forever painting light into the dark.
  Jan 22 Mariya
Emma
he loves me only as a sister—
frail petals fall, their whispers
fractured, bending beneath
the weight of a maybe, a
no.

he loves me (only as a friend)
the echo shifts, a restless
shadow, lingering in the hollow
of what could never bloom.

he loves me (but)—
attraction's embers fade,
a pale ghost of something
once alive, now gray; he
loves (me) not enough
to stay.

he loves me (yet cannot
see) beneath the mirror's skin,
the ugliness I carry,
the cracks I cradle within.

he loves me (only a memory),
childhood’s games replay
in sepia tones,
their laughter a distant
ache in the marrow of my bones.

he loves me (how I bow
to his words)—sharp shards
of blame and fire, I
surrender, a captive
to his bruising choir.

he loves me (he loves me not)
the daisy wilts in silent
confession,
a question unraveling
into dust.
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