My redemption started
as I opened my eyes to the new morning sun shine
My eye lashes looked like forrest fires
If I squinted hard enough
As orbs of light danced from the corner of my eyes
Deep breaths and morning sigh's
Captured far too overwhelming familiar smells of home
I realised the days where getting brighter
And I no longer needed the light I hung onto so tightly
The weather was so often used as an excuse to not get out of bed
But then again I'm still sat at my window trying to find the motivation to do it all again

I'm sorry I have a outburst of a cry
In some of the posts and status I write
I'm scared to admit that I need help
But my brain subconsciously sends waves in vessels down to my finger nails
To hint that I need saving
If someone puts the Peices together
It's not attention I'm craving
Just an open hand
Instead of a fist clenched so tightly
I can form the words
spout water from my lungs  
And tell you I'm drowning
But when you ask what's wrong
How do I explain when I have no idea myself ?
I guess this isnt exactly what I imagined progress to look like

Death is needed so we can have life
Fear is needed so we can overcome and strive
There's no going under
These no going around
No corners to cut can be found
Take it in your stride
Go right down the middle
Don't hide or shy away
From the risks you after take
Smash through the cracks in the divide
And master the power you have inside to take control of your own life
You was born to do this

The Gods offered
A blessing of sorts
To live a favourite day over and over til the sun engulfs everything man made
Or to live out your mortal days
The choice chosen was the former
Waking up the next morning to her boyfriend
And a meal and meet up with her friends down at the petting farm
The pattern continued for 20 days and 20 nights forgetting her past each time she opened her eyes
Never learning from her mistakes
The people
The essence of the perfect day
Started to wilt and fade
Not sustainable for a world where the calendar never turned
And craved the unavoidable
Movement forward

You're the summers heat
Beaming down on me
The sound of autumn's leafs
Crunching under feet
you're spring the death of winters cold touch
You're the harvest coming in to add nutrition to my growth
You're as sharp as the winter breeze
And I'll do what I can to be in season
If it doesn't go to plan
And the weather changes
We'll be hand in hand
Because is it love
If it's not unpredictable like the English weather

For four hours
I thought of nothing but the love we made and the food we ate
Empty inside
But not just hungry
I'm terrified of starving
I'm petrified of love
It takes more thought to conjure these words than any poem ever could.

Your mourning was so loud
It woke death himself
Bargaining yourself ten minutes of life to say your final goodbyes
With tears in your eyes
You said I loved you so much
Crossing out the fights from the nights you wasted time
I wish I'd have told you when you was alive
It's sad I only got to tell you from the other side.