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I don't fall in love.
I demand.
I don't kiss.
I devour.
I don't smile.
I smirk.
I don't hold hands.
I take away.
Possession
 Jan 2018 Traveller in time
masey
depression

depression is like sadness

but never goes away

sadness is where your sad for a day and the next your happy

depression is where it never goes away every day you get worse in worse

deeper into the dark tunnel of depression

the further you get the worse the depression gets

then anxiety comes along

is the bestfriend of depression

they make you feel broken.numb.scared

they fill your head of things that you need to worry about

depression makes you feel like your selfish

''like yea i know i have a good life,good family,food on the table,roof over my head''

i know i shouldn't be depressed but for some reason i can't bring myself to be happy

and people have it worse out there in the world

and im over here having all i could want in the world but happiness

i feel so **** selfish because if that

i don't want this life anymore

i hate it

i hate me

i hate society

i hate depression

depression *****

anxiety *****

life *****

the world *****

everything is just really ******

likes whats the point ant more

when life dumbs you with disipointments
Oh dear,what are called thoughts here?
Oh dear,what is called pain either?
Oh you all say day and night
Love and only love
Oh dear,who is called love?
Is it only painful
Is it only the eyes' tears?Is it only the sigh of sorrow?
Oh then people do it
In search of such pleasure
Such a painful venture?
In my eyes all are beautiful
All are novel all are clear and pure
The blue sky,the prosperous green jungles
The vast moonlight,the tender flowers
All are but
Like me,no?
Only do they laugh
Only do they sing
Laughing and playing
They want to die
Neither do they no sorrow
Nor burst of tears
They don't know
The pains of pursuit so
Oh the flower laughs
And laughing it falls
Laughing the moonlight
Does get lost
Oh in the sea if light
Laughing the sky's stars
Leave why?
Oh dear,who is happy like me?
Oh dear oh come near me
Oh singing the songs of a happy heart
I will console your soul and heart!
Everyday if you
Cry and cry
Not even for a day
Do you laugh
Oh oh no
Let us forget all this sorrow
And sing together
To our heart's glory
For a day!
Like a warm breath of air
He hovers in my memory
No superman, a meek soul
Not one to squander his time
But one who worked day in and out
To feed those
Whom he loved and sired
What was he?
A teacher, a farmer or an artist

I cannot say precisely...
All I can say;
He was each of these
Rolled into one

On holidays I saw him
Shut in the loft
a brush in hand
His fingers moving over the canvas
The steaming tea by his side
Untouched and getting cold as ice
Unmindful of everything around
He sat by the easel in the attic
Focussed only on the strokes that fell

When a distinct image shoots out
As the moon from behind clouds
A wave of satisfaction would gleam
Across his face,
His frantic nerves at once hushed
Bearing the look of one
Who, in an instant, conquered kingdoms

He would view it from different angles
Never seeking anyone’s opinion
But gloating if he saw
Our admiring eyes fell on it

Being artistically inclined
He lived more in the world of art

But gradually things changed
To his fright, he found his hands shaky
And the lines on the canvas
Going tremulous and disjointed
Couldn’t hold a brush!

On diagnosed of Parkinson’s disease
His world abruptly lost its sheen
He saw the disease weeding
Its way into his life
Suddenly grown old
He lost interest in everything
We saw him sitting in his armchair
So immobile, for hours on end
His eyes stretched to a far horizon

We displayed before him
Paintings once born of his imagination
To see if his world would brighten
And it worked!

Recently, in one of my dreams
I saw him sitting at the foot of Michael Angelo
To learn the art, he couldn’t perfect
In his life time!
As one grows old, when evening approaches, memories too lengthen like shadows.
Now I remember more often of my parents wondering how much of sweat and toil they had shed to make their children comfortable, how much of love they lavished and what all sacrifices they endured. A snap shot of my father who was a teacher by profession but more of an artist at heart.
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