I wanna let you go, but if I do ill be empty. I'll go mad. Your my 24/7 but i'm your once in awhile.


a.m.

they lived separated,
but slept in the same bed,
something became lost,
something became stale
but somehow,
someway,
distance only made their love grow even more,
they craved to be in the same bed,
they craved to be one.
they believed they were becoming distant
but that created the foundation,
which formed a new love,
and the distance,
built bridges that allowed for the star crossed lovers to meet,
and when they collided they created love.
or was it love ?
the love they had lasted
only for a night,
they only knew how to lust.

i've searched for love in all the wrong places.
i've looked for it under your sheets and over your kitchen counter.
i've crawled down your bed and felt the inside of your closets.
i've tried searching for it in flower petals falling to the
ground one by one -- "he loves me, he loves me not".
i've tried digging through the dirt looking for every feeling we ever buried.
i've tried quietly drinking  to see if love was at the bottom of a bottle.
i drank a lot more, just to make sure.
i looked for it in broken mirrors and smashed plates and overused wineglasses
on the dining table where you used to sit.
i've tried looking for it in your eyes that were almost always empty.

i could look in a lot more places and tell you about a lot more.

i haven't found it yet, but one thing's for sure:
i don't know where it is, but I know where it isn't.

love can't be found in you.

one hundred and nine
that's how many days i loved you
and for one hundred and nine days
i didn't know if you loved me back

so for one hundred and nine days
i was in pain
but i was in love
love isn't suppose to be painful
love is suppose to feel good
so why did loving you cause me so much pain

maybe i didn't really love you

maybe i don't really know what love is

maybe i'm just a naive little girl
who is lost in the world
and looking for love
but doesn't know where to find it

maybe i didn't really love you

i don't know if i really loved you
but i know this

i know that you have the most beautiful soul that i've seen
and i know that you make me happier than anyone else in the world
and i know that i want to take care of you and make sure you are always okay

but isn't that what love is
isn't love when someone is so wonderful and makes you so happy that all you want to do is be with them and take care of them
isn't that love

because if that's love
than i love you
and i always will

but if that's not love
then i don't know
i don't know if i love you
i don't know if i loved you

for one hundred and nine days
i thought i knew but i didn't

i'm not sure if i know anything anymore



one hundred and nine
that's how many days i thought
i loved you

It’s nights like this,
That gets me thinking,
Thinking about nothing.

It’s nights like this,
That gets me dreaming,
Dreaming about thinking.

It’s nights like this,
That gets me wondering,
Wondering about dreaming.

It’s nights like this,
That gets me contemplating,
Contemplating about wondering.

It’s nights like this,
That gets me deciding,
Deciding about contemplating.

It’s nights like this,
That gets me nothing,
Nothing about…

Deciding
Contemplating
Wondering
Dreaming
Thinking

Becau­se it’s nights like this,
That thoughts cannot be greater than a wish.

—Thomas James Written on August 11, 2011