You said I reminded you of music.
I know music is one of your favourite things.
The pressure.
You'd wake me with kisses & caress my skin.
But what happens when your fingertips come across my imperfections.
The shame.
You say I'm more than you could ever ask for.
But what happens when I tell you there is more.
The guilt.
You have your addictions, like we are with tarring our lungs. What if you found that I do it because it slowly kills me.
The irony.

a year later
we hadn't talked
the sun started to melt away the
evening summer sky
it was just us at the top of the hill
we gazed
we chattered
boards at the ready; familiar
you reached for my hand
& your touch
your touch felt blissfully comfortable
careful stop at the bottom of the hill
i didn't want to let go

He's thinking about other women
You're not the ocean he's swimming
But you're brimming
With perfection for me
I want to move like the tides
For you in the pitch black
Just stay on your back
And let the insecurities wash ashore
Let peace as I touch be your main focus
It's never been about my desires
But oh lord how do you sleep at night letting yourself be deprived of such a great feeling?
You'd give me that tight
Instense feeling
And I want to release it
On you and nobody else
He's browsing through the app to see what he can find
I just want to be the person who can get behind
You and make you feel at home
I want to dream and live it
Not just dream
We're apart of the same team
So let me give you effort to win a dynasty
Your highnessty

You mean nothing,
You are nothing,
I have strived really hard to reach here,
I cried for days, nights, months,
But now, nothing,
And I’m so glad to feel hollow and empty,
Women want a perfect romance,
They want to feel the butterflies fluttering in their hearts and stomachs,
They want to see their beloved and look for their world in his eyes,
But I?
I want to see your face and feel soul-less, heartless,
I want to feel nothing,
After all, this is what you made me,
After all, this is what you deserve.

We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.

How can I describe this child, for there's not another to compare.
His eyes from heavens blue to oceans emerald green, his hair a soft shiny brown, his lashes long with the perfect curl, ever girl is full of  envy, his lips are full and defined to perfection,  a smile that lights up the room, his body ripped like a body builder, He is almost the sight  of perfection in everything you see. But this image I have described for you is only what you see, the things inside my son are more breathtaking than his looks . His sense of humor keeps people rolling , his heart as big as the world, his intelligence  will surprise you when he devotes himself. His spirit of giving is one rare to see, His positive attitude is what keeps me going day to day. His demeanor, is hard to describe, he always remains himself in any situation. He always know what to say. He sends me messages I so need to hear, especially one I received today. He has received pictures of his beautiful daughter as she is a spitting image of him. His message read, , " you  know,  Riley Jo looks alot like you too, without you we wouldn't be as blessed as we are today. Without you we wouldn't be here , I love you and  thank you for everything #back to normal soon"  I miss my son more than words can say. I can only hope he knows it's all the little things he does and says that makes me want to wake for another day.