I put on a smile as I go about my day,
Pressure building up til I cant breathe.
As I lay down I dig at the pink scars on my arms.
They are from the demons I've defeated.
They burn as I scratch them,
Trying to remove them from my skin.
I stare blankly,
Almost in a trance as they get brighter.
I recall every battle I've been through.
Every heartbreak,
Every abandonment,
Every never being good enough,
Every broken promise like glass shards in my heart that's stopped beating long ago,
Held captive in this frozen cage we call ribs.
My brain starts to spin as I feel the burning from behind my eyes,
Memories and words siding down the contours of my cheeks.
I pick up my sword that I've used over again in my darkest hours.
I slide the cool metal across my skin,
red dots pop up in its trail.
They fill in like red rivers,
The pressure lessens and suddenly I can breathe again..
~P.S.

The way your eyes peer into my soul,
There is no way you were made for this earth.
So beautiful,
As if the gods created you themselves.
So kinda hearted,
Loving,
Gentle,
Sweet.
What has caused you to fall from the heavens and land on this hell that we call earth.
The more I speak to you the more I fall.
Deeper and deeper into this pit of emotion Ive never felt before,
Being in love.
You are sworn to the hand of someone else,
But how badly I wish you were mine.
It burns my soul like a straight shot of whiskey.
God I know Im not perfect,
But how I want to be good enough to hold your hand.
I want to kiss your lips,
But they are laced in poison.
Everyones got their own poison,
Im afraid that if I kiss your lips it will be my brand.
But then you'll walk away one day because you will see,
People like you are not made for people like me.
I am a demon,
Placed on this earth because I sold my soul to the devil for a chance to love.
But you were placed here by mistake,
My fallen angel..
~P.S.

Oh how you remind me of a true goddess.
Your eyes,
I swear as I look into them I can see your soul,
And my god it looks just like an angel.
Your hair,
Softer than the Egyptian Cotton sheets my childhood bed was wrapped in.
Your body,
I swear the gods must have designed you themselves.
Your smile,
Bright like a child's,
But luring like a siren.
And its got me curious about your lips.
The way they are shaped,
Filled with poison to intoxicate your lover.
Aphrodite has nothing on you,
For she was the goddess of love,
Luring people into her.
But someone just has to glance at you to be starstruck,
Like standing in front of the class for the first time.
My hands become sweaty as I try to form the words in my mouth to speak to you,
But you tie my tongue like a knot in a cherry stem.
As you give me a hug your scent reminds me of spring.
The light rain and the blooming flowers,
My heart coming back to life,
Like the earth after winter.
I say that someday I will tell you how you make my soul catch fire,
But you are forbidden for me.
And even if I attempted it,
My words would just fall out of my mouth like water out of a faucet.
I would stutter and never find the right words in either of the two languages I speak,
So they would just run down the drain..
~P.S.

Love...
A word so easily used, yet almost always abused.
Love.
What I used to say to you.
I love you.
Now the words are stuck in my throat and drip off the tip of my tongue bit by bit like honey, since the day you hurt me more than words could ever explain.
Yet after all of this all you could say to me was "I love you, I never meant to hurt you.
I love you, I'll never do it again.
I love you"
The words coming out of your mouth, rattling my bones, making me lean towards you and need you again.
You are a succubus luring me to my death,
and all I can do is look into your deceiving eyes helplessly and let you take my soul.
Love.
A word I thought I knew but am now learning that I truly know nothing about.
Love.
You tell me you love me yet your still walking on clouds as you are watching me drown underneath you.
Love.
And yet through all of this pain blossoming throughout my mind all I can think is that I'll love you forever.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.....
~P.S.

That bitter sweet kiss we shared,
On the side of the road in the rain,
It reminds me of whiskey.
Warm and bitter when you taste it,
But for those who aren't used to it,
It makes you sick to your stomach.
I pull you close knowing,
Like the seasons you must go.
But I cannot wait for you to come back to me.
Your hug comforts me,
Like the warm winds in the Fall.
I watch you walk away,
Like how the sun hides away from the moon.
I will sit here in my own darkness and wait for the morning,
Cause when morning comes
You will come back shining like the Sun, moon and all the stars.
~P.S.

My heart is like the rain.
It is constantly persuaded by the change in the wind to go somewhere else.
Even though it knows where it truly wants to be.
As it drips and sinks into the earth
knows it must try again.
So when the clouds pull me back up to the Sun I plan on how I can land on your cheek.
Just so I can caress you one last time.
But as I drip off that cloud, suddenly I am changed and I miss again...
~P.S.

I can hear you knocking.
Not on my door,
But on my mind.
I close my eyes.
Cover my ears,
Trying to resist your sweetness,
Cause underneath you hide,
Your true motives.
I dig my nails into bed sheets.
I'm splintered, broken,
Trying to use glue on my soul,
Putting myself back together,
Piece by shattered piece.
You told me you would never hurt me,
Yet the bruises on my body tell that your lying.
But those don't compare to the bruises you left on my heart.
It bleeds every time it beats.
My mind is swarmed,
Of all the promising things you whispered in my ear.
They were lies, all lies.
As I sit on my bed I feel as though I'm being ripped apart at the seams.
I lay down and hold myself.
Slowly unraveling in my own hands..
~P.S.

I want to kiss you, to feel your soft lips against mine.
I need to stay away, I know my kind and I'll leave you hurting every night.
I want to be numb, to turn myself away from the world, away from the dark crevices in my prison we call a mind.
I need to feel something anything, to connect with people who will set my soul on fire.
I want to close my eyes, swear away the world and all the people who have hurt me.
I need to open my eyes, accept what has happened and move forward.
I want to breakdown and curl up in a ball.
I need to keep my chin up, wipe away my tears and push my way forward.
I want to hate, so I can move on.
I need to love, so I can hold on...
~P.S.

I try so hard to catch your eyes,
Those ones that remind me of the sky on a hot summers day.
I melt like a popsicle on the pavement when they look at me.
And your skin,
Such a light complexion that it reminds me of the comfort of a snow day.
You are mix of seasons.
But you see the warmth is only in your eyes,
And the words you speak.
When you smile ear to ear,
I can feel my heart trying to jump out of my chest,
For it wants to beat with yours.
But all your words are flecked with ice from your heart.
So as I get closer to you,
I am slowly freezing myself inside out.
And yet I cannot grasp why I don't compare.
Why am I not ever good enough?
Why don't you love me..?
~P.S.

As we lay here,
Lost in our melodic laughs.
I can't help but stare into your eyes.
I can see galaxies hidden into them.
I get this overwhelming urge to move closer,
I want to know you,
I need to know you.
Your smell reminds me of soft flowers,
Its more addictive than *******,
And I swear I'm getting higher than an astronaut could ever dream.
I have always been a lover of the night,
But your smile captivates me more than the moon and all the stars ever could.
So as I'm walkin in the dark tonight,
Looking up at the moon,
The only thought on my mind is you.
So as I'm singing loud,
I sound like a wolf howling to the moon.
For I know that I am an animal,
And anything I touch with my teeth,
I will surely destroy..
So I know I must let you go,
But I will still sing to you at twilight,
With the hope lifting my heavy heart,
That you might hear my song to you..
~P.S.