There it is again
that feeling of dread
of anxiety and stress
a feeling so overwhelming
that I have to stop
to catch my breath.

I feel too much
and not a thing at all
at the same time.
And its so **** confusing
that I can't even breathe.

Just when I thought
That I had dug myself out
You come in
Preaching your wonderful lies
And you drag me back under
Burying me deeper
Than before
And maybe this time
I’ll just let myself rot instead.

Nothing I do
Will ever be good enough,
Will it?
Not for you,
Not for anyone.
And that gut-wrenching realization
Crushes me to pieces
Every ******* time.

I'm bored
With my everyday life
Its the very same
Everyday
I repeat the same *******
from the day before.
And as hard as I try
I can't seem to escape it...

It hurts
Every bone in my body aches
Unbearable pains lace through my system
My headache a constant
My heart
The only thing I can’t feel
Because it’s gone numb
From breaking over and over
My cheeks
Always laced with wet tracks
And my eyes
A waterfall I control.
My eyelids are heavy
But not with sleep
Instead with the same weight
On my heart
And my chest
It’s a panic
Uncontrollable in every way.
So my mind is racing
And twisting and turning.
With dark, gloomy thoughts.
And I need your help
Because I break more and more everyday.

That’s what I almost say
But instead
I squeak out
“I’m fine.”
And walk away.

I don’t care
And it’s as simple as that
I’ve given up even trying
Maybe I want to care
But I just can’t
Not anymore
Because I’ve been doing
My very best
To care
For so long
Yet you’ve hardly given
A single effort
For me.
I didn’t want to stop caring
I tried to hold onto it
But it slipped through my fingers
And now as hard as I try
I simply cannot care.
And I don’t care
That you don’t care
Because you’ve numbed me
To just about everything.