I text hi
You text hey
Instantly I wish I’d said that instead because Hi makes me sound clingy
I count the minutes between our texts
You ask how I am
I say I’m good who are you
You say not bad :)
I say that’s good :)
And we are back to square one.
Conversations of k lol cool and ya
The kind I hate
Then we play questions
And you ask me questions that are so deep, it surprises me
I’m intrigued
You’re different
I tell you the truth
About so many things I’m used to lying about
I am getting so close to telling you
My secrets
My unpretty ones
The ones I’ve been keeping
I said you know all that you need to about me
But I lied
I’m sorry
But you lied too
You text me you’ll be there when I return
Waiting for me
You might have said the sweetest things anybody has ever said to me
But you change your mind too easily
I travelled so far and thought of you
Every day I was away
I bought you something special
But you never got it
Because when I got back
You were there
But not really
You were distant
And you said remember how I liked you?
I notice you put it in past tense
Okay
That’s fine
It doesn’t consume me
At least I didn’t let myself get attached
Because usually when I lose someone
The pain never fades
At least you didn’t give me time
To fall in love with you and your lovely words
Lovely
Lovely
Lovely
You ruined the word for me
I wish I didn’t have to keep that special gift I had for you
But I can’t bring myself to get rid of it
And I used it a couple times myself so it didn’t go to waste
But now it haunts me too much to touch
So it sits on a shelf
And isn’t broken
But it’s just a little sad
Kind of like me
And what is behind the words
The words I gave you
Thank God I never told you my secrets
You couldn’t have handled them
And then that would mean I trusted you
With it all
And I really couldn’t handle losing someone
Who I trust
Because it’s worse than losing someone who I love
But still thank God I didn’t fall in love with you
I’m hiding something behind the words still though
It isn’t that bad
you didn't break me or anything
but still
I’m just a little sad.

Repost if you know the feeling

You’re crawling on the tips of fiery flames
You’re dancing with the shadows.
There’s no way back
You’ve gone too far
You’re creeping along
a bloodstained path
and it just isn’t fun anymore
not the same thrill to be the only one
“brave” enough to leap off the ledge
And tumble into a chasm of eternal agony
You got lonely with only the silence to talk to
Truthfully
You used to like this feeling
Like a sense of empowerment
Because no one suspects the secrets you keep
But there comes a time
When you don’t want
To keep these secrets anymore
You don’t want to feel strong enough to face the pain
You just don’t want the pain there anymore
You’re crawling on the tips of fiery flames
You’re dancing with the shadows.
There’s no way back
You’ve gone too far
No.
There’s always a way back.
There is no such thing as too far.
And I’m back.

Please repost if you too have made it back from an abyss of despair :)
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art! 

I make a point of wearing silver instead of gold when I can
Because gold is first place
Everyone wants to be golden
So many poets agree sunset and dawn
Are the most beautiful times of day
Both of which are golden
But I disagree
Nighttime has its own peculiar but enchanting charm
With its crowning jewel, the silver moon.
To me, it is agony like no other that surpasses not placing at all
To be placed second
To have come so close
Yet fall just one place short
And watch as the Golden one
Outshines you, the Silver.
As a tribute to the unspoken grievers
The Silvers with their quiet beauty like the darkness
Just before dawn, yet unloved for they fell short
I wear silver.
For the Silver Seconds.

Please repost if you are a Silver too
Comment please! I love to read interpretations of my work.

I have a million things to say to you
about how you made me feel
how worthless you made me feel
how broken you made me feel
and I could write you a list
I could mail it to you
I could write you a song
I could sing it to you
I could scream it at you
I could cry to you all the things you did to me
tell you how much I loathe you
I could tell you how you WRECKED me
how you RUINED things in my life
how you destroyed those that I care about and love
I could etch it into your skin
leave it in a note on your doorstep
burn it into the wood of your backyard fence
...but I won't.
You really don't even deserve to know what you did to me anymore
So goodbye now.
Even though you're not even worth a goodbye to me anymore.

Repost if someone has stopped even being worth a goodbye to you at this point because of how deeply they wounded you.
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art!

You say nobody cares so what is the point?

Honey, if your reasons and points are built on someone else caring you will run out pretty quick. If you care, that should be enough.

You say you don't care though. You say you don't care about anything anymore.

If you really didn't care about anything, you would never wonder what the point is and it wouldn't hurt so much when you can't figure that out.

Today I'm going to stop
This ridiculous destructive thing
I've been doing it to myself
For five. miserable. years.
I talk so much about
How I hate to be controlled
but this is controlling me
I'm wasting my life
and this is my fresh start
I don't want to paint over
the same old canvas
I've already painted black
I've gone down this road before
and I could have been a killer
I don't want to be her anymore
The girl no one could help
and just watched her waste away before them
I'm no longer going to count the numbers
and measure and weigh
and cry and hate
I'M DONE
it can't control me anymore
she told me she was worried about me
now I know it's too far
what do I care anyway about all this?
It won't be very easy
but I'm not going to do this to myself anymore
I'm taking this canvas and BURNING IT
I'm starting fresh
I'm done with this
I'm finished
I need to be strong enough
for her
I won't become a statistic
under the earth in a wooden box
with only a block of cement
to prove I ever existed
because pretty doesn't have a size
and for her
I'm going to stop
Five years
is long enough

I like the type of boy
Who isn’t overly sure of himself
Who fakes his confidence
So he comes across bold and fearless
But secretly needs reassurance
Though he never asks for it
But he allows his nervousness
To show once in a while
I like the type of boy
Who holds onto things
Far too long
And can’t let go
Even when it has come time to
And even when he really wants to
I like the type of boy
Who isn’t afraid of emotion
And takes feelings like a man
Without treating them
Like something undesirable
I like the type of boy
Who would prefer to read
Rather than smoke ****
Who would choose to watch an old movie on a Saturday night
Over getting drunk at 2AM with a group of strangers
I like the type of boy
Who over thinks everything
I like the type of boy who gets jealous
‘cause it’s kind of cute
I like the type of boy who is passionate
Who has powerful emotions
Who never does anything halfway
Who means what he says
Who isn’t out spoken
But considers his words
And uses them well
Because he knows their value
I like the type of boy
Who yells when he is mad
Isn’t afraid to disagree with me
But is never unkind about it
Who is willing to listen
Who is willing to talk
I like the type of boy
Who will tell me I have a beautiful soul,
Not a beautiful face or body
I like the type of boy
Who calls me something deeper than pretty
Who doesn’t shower me in in meaningless compliments
But when he does
He means it
And he says something a little more original
Than calling me pretty
I like the type of boy
Who has a darker side
But doesn’t let it overpower him
Who can handle my darker side
But is one of the few people
Who can bring my out my brighter side
I like the type of boy
Who doesn’t mind when I act crazy
Who isn’t afraid to yell when he needs to let something out
And isn’t afraid to whisper either
I like the type of boy
Who messes up all the time, over and over again
Who has regrets
Who shows remorse
Who cares about stuff
And isn’t “too cool” to give a ****
I like the type of boy
Who uses proper grammar
Who is willing to tease me
And joke around with me
And make me laugh
I like the type of boy who isn’t afraid
To be afraid
I like the type of boy
Who likes the type of girl I am








…so basically the non-existent type of boy :P

Repost if you like the type of boy or girl that most usually wouldn't and comment, telling me the type of boy or girl you like.