Have you ever seen,
White light shine,
Through black diamonds?
Seen the reflection of moonlight,
Off of gold?
Do you walk around parties,
In black suits and dress attire.
How great it feels,
To keep time on gold watches.
Black diamonds,
Silver seas.
I'd give you riches,
If you'd love me.

I love you in the morning,
I love you through the night,
I love you when I fight,
I love you when I tried and failed,
I love you in the light,
I love you in the dark,
I love you through the moon and back,
I love you through hard times,
I love you even if we break apart,
I love you when you’re here,
I love you when you’re there,
I love you even when you’re gone,
I love you everywhere.
I love you every moment--

I love you…

I was planning to
I really wanted to
I wanted her to know
I wanted to be able to tell her
About why I bleed
And about my father
But my mouths betrays me
It refuses to say these things outloud
Why?

Just say it
I tell myself
You describe it so well in your head
Why can't you speak it?
Why did you stay silent?

Now the moment is over
Once again
You said nothing
And still
No one knows

Not even your closest of friends
Why?
You want them to know
You want to lighten the load
They can speak it so well outloud
They trusted me
Why can't I trust them?
I can
But I won't

Tears roll down my cheeks
She's asleep
She doesn't see
And if she would
I wouldn't even be able to tell her why
How sad is that?

Die
Hmm
Am I putting it in this poem just so it will ryme?
Or because that's what I want to do
But no
I don't
I can't
And I won't
I shouldn't let myself think such thoughts

I missed my chance to be open
I missed my chance to Infront of people
For what feels like the first time in a long time
I missed my chance to show them
All the reasons why
Because my mouth can't express
All that I need to express
Like poetry

How come poetry has to be so clean?
I'm terrified to let out literature,
If I don't think it would be valued,
On the poetry scene.
Sometimes life isn't good green,
So how come I have to write like it is?

Sometimes poems are rough,
When you're writing when life is tough.
Often just writing isn't enough,
You have to take your feelings, make them feel pretty.
Even though most of what I'm feeling,
Is pretty gritty.
Fitting.
Someday people are gonna have to wake up,
And realize,
****'s tough, life is rough, it's already bad and I just woke up. ****.

Let's just say
I opened my heart
I would smell the anxiety
Fear
Love
Pain

But I wonder
If anyone else would
But I think not
Because when it was closed
No one cared
Or wondered what's really going on in there

So now what now?
It just gets hurt more easily?
I don't need any more of that

I stitch it back up
Now the air smells of nothing important
Fake smiles
"I'm okay"'s
Covered up opinions
Feelings
Screams

I guess it's better that way

"Wisdom doesn't come easy,
So when someone tells you something you better listen.
Pay some attention to the wise men,
Even if they don't seem the wisest.
Listen here son,
Sometimes good men do bad things.
So they can protect the ones they love,
God is forgiving, he understands.
Sometimes you gotta get your hands *****,
To keep someone else's clean."